The Ghost & Mrs. Muir (TV Series)

Amateur Night (1970)

Charles Nelson Reilly: Claymore Gregg

Quotes 

• Claymore Gregg : Hi, I'm Claymore Gregg, your monster of ceremonies. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Laugh it up, folks. I know you're out there. I can hear breathing.

• [Carolyn suggests Claymore's abandoned warehouse as a new home for retired seamen] 

  Claymore Gregg : Gentlemen, as you know, that warehouse on Sycamore Street is rental property.

  Deke : Ain't had a tenant in four years, Claymore.

  Claymore Gregg : That is a mere technicality, Deke.

  Mr. Peevy : Place 'ould make a nice donation, Claymore.

  Claymore Gregg : You mean I am to just give it away for free? Oh-ho, please. Well, why would I want to do anything like that?

  Capt. Daniel Gregg : [appearing in Claymore's drinking glass]  Because I demand it!

• Deke : Tickets are bummin'. Our amatuer night ain't sellin' enough tickets to meet expenses.

  Claymore Gregg : Well, how's that possible? It's my only appearance of the season.

  Deke : Well, guess folks figure why pay money to see you and Peevey make fools of yourselves when they can walk down the street and see it for nothin'.

• Claymore Gregg : And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for!

  Heckler : Are you leaving?