David Spade: Self - Host

Quotes 

• David Spade : This week a man died during a Taco eating competition. You know, the same thing almost happened to Michael Douglas.

  [audience and pannelists laugh] 

  David Spade : Google it! Yeah, I can't walk you through all of 'em.

• David Spade : Next up: people on the internet have been criticizing Emma Watson's American accent in the new adaptation of Little Women. Is that a book or some- you know what, this feels political, lets just go to commercial.

• David Spade : Disney and Mattel have teamed up to make Star Wars Barbie dolls. This is, eh, the closest guys who like Star Wars will come to holding girls who look like Barbie.

  [audience and pannelists laugh] 

  David Spade : Cause they're nerds... Remember Revenge of the Nerds? Nerds!... I'm old.