The Simpsons (TV Series)
Homer of Seville (2007)
Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Hibbert : I just need to make sure your vertebrae are properly aligned. This should take only a minute, and cost about a thousand dollars.
Homer Simpson : [singing operatically] D'oh!
Marge Simpson : That doesn't sound like Homer's usual annoyed grunt.
Dr. Hibbert : Hmm.
Homer Simpson : [singing operatically as Hibbert pokes him in the stomach] D'oh!
[in a lower pitch as Hibbert does so again]
Homer Simpson : D'oh!
Dr. Hibbert : Fascinating. When Homer's on his back, his stomach lodges perfectly under his diaphragm, giving him a powerful singing voice.
Bart Simpson : Is that a real thing?
Lisa Simpson : It is! Tenor Andrea Bocelli recorded an entire song on his back.
Dr. Hibbert : You know, Homer, your singing could help alleviate patient suffering, and save us a fortune in Demerol.
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Marge Simpson : I'm so tense. I can't enjoy Count Almaviva serenading the intended bride of Dr. Bartolo. I just can't.
Lisa Simpson : I don't see anything suspicious. Except someone is loudly unwrapping their candy.
Moe Szyslak : It ain't candy, it's a lamb chop wrapped in foil.
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Bart Simpson : [after Homer's opera debut] Dad, you were great!
Lisa Simpson : And you contributed to our culture!
Homer Simpson : Well, I didn't mean to.
Lisa Simpson : No, no. It's a good thing.
Homer Simpson : Oh, good. This makes up for me showing up drunk to the father/daughter dance.
Lisa Simpson : The dance isn't 'til next week.
Homer Simpson : Sorry, Lisa. Can't change the future.
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Homer Simpson : [finding a snake in his cereal, he whacks it against the fridge] Ahh! Die, you stupid cobra! Die! Die!
Lisa Simpson : Dad, I think someone's trying to kill you.
Homer Simpson : Who could it be? A disgruntled former employee? Whoever it is, the cobra is their symbol.
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Homer Simpson : Oh, Homer, you've got to try this roast beef au jus.
Homer Simpson : [taking a bite] Mmm! Au jus! Not quite gravy, not quite blood.
Lisa Simpson : Look at the crowd around that table.
Bart Simpson : It must be a make-your-own-sundae bar!
Homer Simpson : [pushing past people] Oh, I can't wait to taste that hot fudge and caramel and crushed nuts all slathered over a delicious... ELDERLY CORPSE?
Lisa Simpson : [mortified] We crashed a funeral!
Marge Simpson : Oh, my god! Quick, everyone put on their long faces.
[the family puts on expressions of sadness]
Marge Simpson : Longer!
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Marge Simpson : [after Sunday mass] Well, where should we go for brunch? Griddler on the Roof? Thank God It's Fried Eggs? Luftwaffles? Bodacious Frittatas? Buffet the Hunger Slayer?
Homer Simpson : I wanna say one!
Marge Simpson : Be my guest.
Homer Simpson : Denny's.
[dejected groan]
Homer Simpson : Oh...
Bart Simpson : Every place has such a long line.
Homer Simpson : Don't worry. We'll just go home. Your mother can cook.
Lisa Simpson : I just want a simple salad with pine nuts, haricots verts, seasonal heirloom tomatoes...
Marge Simpson : Forget it! One day a week, I should be able to put on nice clothes and have someone bring food to me.
Bart Simpson : There's a place... with no line!
Homer Simpson : Whoo-hoo!
Lisa Simpson : [seeing a catering van] Bart, that's not a restaurant, it's somebody's house.
Homer Simpson : Lisa's right, son. Your mom is way too classy to crash a private...
Marge Simpson : [crawling through a window in the basement] I'm not cooking!
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Homer Simpson : Oh, man, that church service was so boring. I did a whole book of Find-A-Words.
Lisa Simpson : Ugh, dad, all you circled were the "I"s and "A"s.
Homer Simpson : Those are words.
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Homer Simpson : Well, that's it. I'm retiring from the opera. It's just too popular. And I know something much more fun I can do on my back.
[at the house, he paints a mural of the family on the ceiling of the family room]
Homer Simpson : Singing opera made me good at painting.
Bart Simpson : Is that a real thing?
Lisa Simpson : No.