The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV Series)

Episode #1.5 (1981)

Simon Jones: Arthur Dent

Photos 

Quotes 

• Garkbit (Head Waiter) : [whilst greeting Arthur and the others at Milliways]  It's not unusual for customers to be disoriented after the time journey.

  Trillian : Time Journey?

  Ford Prefect : You mean... this isn't the afterlife?

  Garkbit (Head Waiter) : The afterlife? No, sir.

  Arthur : So... we're not dead?

  Garkbit (Head Waiter) : Sir is most evidently alive otherwise I would not attempt to serve, sir.

• Zaphod Beeblebrox : You mean they want to arrest me over the phone? Could be. I'm a pretty dangerous dude when I'm cornered.

  Ford Prefect : Yeah. You go to pieces so fast, people get hit by the shrapnel.

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : Hey, what is this? Judgement Day?

  Arthur Dent : Oh, do we get to see that as well? Terrific!

• Arthur Dent : You know, it's not so much an afterlife, more a sort of après-vie.

• Zaphod Beeblebrox : Listen, you semi-evolved simian, go climb a tree, will you?

  Arthur Dent : Go bang your heads together, four-eyes.

• Dish of the Day : May I urge you, sir, to consider my liver. It must be very rich and tender by now. I have been force feeding myself for months.

  Arthur Dent : Green salad, please.

  Dish of the Day : A green salad?

• Arthur : [in Disaster Area's black ship]  Now I really think I'll be ill.

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : Go ahead, we could do with a little colour around this place.

• [Zaphod, Trillian, Arthur, Ford, and Marvin are attempting to escape a stuntship that's going to hit the sun. Zaphod is holding Ford up so he can search the upper regions of the ship] 

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : Hey Ford, how many escape capsules are there?

  Ford Prefect : None.

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : You counted them?

  Ford Prefect : Twice! Raise the crew on the radio?

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : Yeah. I told them there were a whole bunch of people on board.

  Ford Prefect : And they said?

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : 'Hi there.'

  Ford Prefect : Did you tell them who you were?

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : Yeah. They said it was a great honor.

  Arthur Dent : What does teleport mean?

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : What did you say?

  [Zaphod turns, causing Ford's foot to slip off his hand. Ford yells and falls somewhere offscreen] 

  Arthur Dent : Probably the wrong moment...

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : Where does it say teleport?

  Arthur Dent : Well here, underneath this sign that says out of order!

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : Hell's donkeys!

  Ford Prefect : It seems okay, just the automatic guidance, uh, where-ever-it-is-we're-going system is conked up!

  Zaphod Beeblebrox : Who cares where we go? Lets just go!