- Ari Gold: [about Alan] He's dead, Eric. The joy of me losing was too much for his angry little heart.
- Johnny 'Drama' Chase: [about Turtle being his assistant] No way.
- Turtle: Why not?
- Johnny 'Drama' Chase: Cause what I want in an assistant, you don't have.
- Turtle: And what's that?
- Johnny 'Drama' Chase: An ass I'd wanna fuck.