- [Jayne Grayson tells Ric and Connie that Michael Spence has introduced her to Rev Steve Randall, an American church minister who is offering to pay for the separation of the conjoined twins]
- Ric Griffin: You're not saying that Mr. Spence has found God?
- Connie Beauchamp: No, Mr. Spence thinks he *is* God!
- Steve Randall: You English really *are* a little cynical, aren't you?
- Jayne Grayson: Actually, I'm Scottish. We can make the English look optimistic.
- [talking about Elliot Hope]
- Donna Jackson: You've got nothing to worry about. He might look like a Womble, but he's the best there is. He's healed more people than...
- Fergus McKellar: Jesus?
- Donna Jackson: He's a close second.
- Fergus McKellar: What is it they say about books and their covers?
- Donna Jackson: If it looks as dull as crap, then it probably is.