- Sheldon Cooper: [Scoffing at Penny] Not knowing is part of the fun! What is that the motto of your community college?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Are you familiar with Darwin's observation of the finches in the Galapagos Islands?
- Penny: Did they make a movie about it?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No.
- Penny: Then, no.
- Leonard Hofstadter: What's up with the infrared cameras?
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm measuring residual heat levels on the playing cards to determine which ones have been touched. By the way, if you hope to have children, I suggest you switch from briefs to boxers. Your testicles look a tad warm.
- Sheldon Cooper: Apparently you can't hack into a government super computer and the try to buy uranium without the department of homeland security tattling to your mother.
- Sheldon: This deck is rigged in some fashion
- Howard Wolowitz: Fine then get another deck and I'll do the trick with that
- Sheldon: So you're saying this is a regulation deck?
- Howard Wolowitz: I'm saying believe in magic you muggle!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Last night, me wanting to try that stuff out of the Kama Sutra... was that fun for you, or kind of racially insensitive?
- Priya Koothrappali: Yeah, just because you're in bed with an Indian woman, you think that gives you permission to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hey, if you can find a book called "Weird Sex With White Boys", I'd be okay with that.
- Penny: I think I know how you did the card trick.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, please. If I don't know, you don't know; that's axiomatic.
- Penny: Come here.
- [Penny whispers in Howard's ear]
- Howard Wolowitz: You're right.
- Penny: [seeing Sheldon's indignation] Not too bad for someone who doesn't know what "axiomatic" means.
- Sheldon Cooper: Howard, if I may interject here with a piece of friendly advice. Is working on magic tricks really how you want to spend your time? Granted, you're just an engineer, but that doesn't mean you might not someday build a geegaw or a thingamabob that may get you a thank you in someone else's Nobel prize acceptance speech.
- Priya Koothrappali: Listen, we need to talk about something.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [panicked] Oh, my god, you're breaking up with me. Why would you take me clothes shopping and then break up with me? That is just cruel.
- Priya Koothrappali: Leonard, relax. I'm not breaking up with you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh.
- [he takes a breath from his inhaler]
- Leonard Hofstadter: [playing it cool] So, what's up?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Penny and I are just friends.
- Priya Koothrappali: I don't care. This is a woman you have slept with. If you want her around, then I have to wonder if maybe you're not ready to move on.
- Leonard Hofstadter: No, no, no, I'm ready. I gave up the gift of sight for you! If that's not moving on, what is?
- Leonard Hofstadter: How about we still hang out, but on the down low?
- Penny: Are you really that kind of guy?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No. I actually felt kind of silly just saying "on the down low."
- Penny: Oh, for god's sake, Leonard, this is about Priya, isn't it? She doesn't want me hanging out with you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yes. There, I said it.
- Penny: Okay, look, I happen to like your girlfriend.
- Leonard Hofstadter: And she likes you.
- Penny: No, she doesn't.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Not really, no.
- Penny: It doesn't matter. Look, I promise from now on I will keep my distance from you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Well, now, hold on. What kind of distance are we talking about? Because we are neighbours. I mean, I can hear the toilet flush in your apartment.
- Penny: You can hear my toilet flush?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I don't listen for it, but it's nice to know everything's okay with your plumbing. The building's plumbing.
- Penny: Leonard, I get it. You're in a new relationship now. And I'm happy for you. So why don't we just shake hands and part friends?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Well, now hold on, how about this? How about we still hang out, but on the down-low?
- Penny: Are you really that kind of guy?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No. I actually felt kinda silly just saying on the down-low.
- Penny: [sadly] Goodbye Leonard.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hypothetically, if I had access to a Lieutenant Uhura uniform, would you wear it?
- Priya Koothrappali: Leonard, it is a source of great pain to me and my family that my brother has that outfit in his wardrobe.
- Priya Koothrappali: You have such beautiful eyes. Have you ever thought about getting contacts?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I tried in the 7th grade. I could never get used to 'em.
- Priya Koothrappali: Oh, that's too bad.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, if I had contacts, I would have been the coolest debate club president to ever be stuffed into his own cello case.
- Priya Koothrappali: If you had them on now, you could see what we're going to do next.
- [kisses Leonard]
- Leonard Hofstadter: That's okay, I can infer from context.