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Community (TV Series)
Origins of Vampire Mythology (2012)
Donald Glover: Troy Barnes
Photos
Quotes
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Britta Perry : I'm glad you guys are reacting this way. I need to be reminded that he's the worst man on earth, because if he comes through town and calls me, I will be there in five minute.
Shirley Bennett : I don't understand.
Britta Perry : Uh, André much?
Shirley Bennett : OK, I understand.
Annie Edison : I don't.
Britta Perry , Pierce Hawthorne : You will.
Jeff Winger : What's that mean?
Pierce Hawthorne : He's hung.
Britta Perry : Oh, God!
Shirley Bennett : Pierce, you're disgusting.
Pierce Hawthorne : Just like that I'm disgusting again.
[scoffs]
Pierce Hawthorne : I was one of the gang. It was in my hand.
Shirley Bennett : Sometimes, a woman meets a man that she just can't shake from her system no matter much she knows better. I lucked out with André, but God help me. As you all know, there's not a lot he couldn't get away with.
Jeff Winger : So what, Britta? You're in love with a guy who's named after a kickboxing vampire movie?
Troy Barnes : [pounds fist on table] A fantastic kickboxing vampire movie.
Britta Perry : No, I don't believe in love because of this guy...
[choking up]
Britta Perry : named after a kickboxing vampire movie.
Annie Edison : Oh, Britta!
Shirley Bennett : Oh, sweetie.
Troy Barnes : [under his breath to Abed] You wanna watch Blade tonight?
Abed Nadir : [under his breath] Yes.
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Britta Perry : Let me see if he called! I have a right to know! You're monsters! You're Hitlers! You're racist pedophiles! You're the opposites of Batman!
Troy Barnes : You don't know what that means.
Britta Perry : Gonna rip out your throats and eat your...
Annie Edison : Still think the lock was overkill?
[banging on locked door]
Troy Barnes : No.
Annie Edison : [mocking Troy] "There's phones in the refrigerator." It's you.
[doorknob rattles]
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Annie Edison : She's calling him?
Troy Barnes : She was born in the '80s. She still uses her phone as a phone!
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Pierce Hawthorne : So, Britta, tell us about your carnival worker boyfriend.
Britta Perry : Why, so you all can get a big laugh?
Abed Nadir : Yeah.
Jeff Winger : I'd love to have a laugh.
[giggling interspersed throughout the group]
Troy Barnes : The exact reason.
Britta Perry : Fine. I'm not ashamed of my past. And if it entertains you guys, that's great because we're friends. His name is Blade and...
[interrupted as the group again bursts into derisive laughter]
Jeff Winger : She invoked friendship to undercut the laugh, and we're still laughing. That's how funny it is!
Abed Nadir : His name is Blade. Is that legal? Shouldn't New Line Cinema be suing him?
Britta Perry : He was called that before that stupid movie.
Troy Barnes : He was called that before the fantastic movie.
Abed Nadir : And it was a marvel comic in 1973.
Britta Perry : Well, nerd alert.
Pierce Hawthorne : Well, ex-boyfriend named Blade alert.
[Shirley laughing as she offer Pierce a high-five]
Pierce Hawthorne : .
Shirley Bennett : Her love life makes Pierce seem with it.
Pierce Hawthorne : Her pain unifies us.
[Britta appears stoic]
Pierce Hawthorne : She has the King Arthur of bad taste in men.
[empathy begins to show with Jeff]
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Britta Perry : Can you check my messages for me and tell me if he called?
Annie Edison : I don't think that's a good idea.
Britta Perry : What if my mother died?
Abed Nadir : You guys are really talking over Blade.
[Britta grabs the remote and pauses the dvd]
Troy Barnes : Not cool!
Abed Nadir : Annie, subdue your guest.
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Annie Edison : You two are bad friends! Bad.
Troy Barnes : That's unfair. What about you guys? Okay, you don't like our movie, we can't say the word "Blade," there's phones in the refrigerator. Oops.
[Britta, Annie and Troy race to the kitchen]
Annie Edison : Troy, Abed!
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Dean Pelton : Britta's attracted to unavailable men.
Troy Barnes : Dean, why are you here?
Dean Pelton : Ouch.
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Annie Edison : [phone buzzing] She's calling him?
Troy Barnes : She was born in the '80s. She still uses her phone as a phone.
Abed Nadir : Uh-oh.
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Annie Edison : I figured it out. I know exactly what to do. I'm just gonna be really, really, really mean to her.
Troy Barnes : Uh. What don't you get about the concept? Britta likes guys who are mean to her. She doesn't like herself. Give me the phone.
[Troy writes and sends text]
Annie Edison : What did you say?
Troy Barnes : Something nice. Don't worry about it. I'm deleting it from your phone.
[...]
Troy Barnes , Britta Perry : [Annie grabs Britta's phone and begins reading texts] What are you doing?
Annie Edison : I wanna know.
Britta Perry : Okay, I'm sorry. I was texting with Blade, but it's over now. He's... a loser.
[Annie glances at Troy]
Troy Barnes : [sadness fills Troy's eyes] Good night.