- Sam Healy: I was stuck inside doing paperwork. Who's the real prisoner?
- Galina 'Red' Reznikov: Still me, I think.
- Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: It's 8:00 in the morning. You drinking already?
- Poussey Washington: It's always 5:00 in prison.
- Dayanara Diaz: I hear they're setting up a call center.
- Marisol 'Flaca' Gonzales: With my sexy voice, I'll be making mad commissions.
- Gloria Mendoza: Commissions. Right. You get ten percent of nothing on every nothing you nothing.
- Maritza Ramos: What if it turns out to be, like, picking up trash on the side of the road?
- Marisol 'Flaca' Gonzales: They don't pay that much for dummy work. Nah, whatever it is, it's gonna take skills and smarts.
- Maria Ruiz: Yeah, what are you gonna wow them with, your eyeliner skills, or your smarts about how many words rhyme with "bleak" in emo songs?
- Cat: Someone's gonna come back pissed, and ask for a refund, or punch you in the face or something.
- Marisol 'Flaca' Gonzales: No, no, no, no, no. If they come back, I say "Hold up. What happened when you took it?" And if they say "nothing," I say "What is nothing? Because some people say there was nothing when the universe was created, but, like, isn't empty space still something? Open your mind to the possibilities. Maybe you're not doing it right." And then they come back because they feel like they didn't do it right. Girl, I thought this shit through.