- Piper Chapman: We need to work on your posture.
- Linda Ferguson: I have an anterior pelvic tilt.
- Alex Vause: You have anterior white privilege. You look like you have too much to live for.
- Piper Chapman: Walk with oppression. Let me see some persecution in those shoulders.
- Lorna Morello: If you could have anything in the world, what would you have?
- Nicky Nichols: Vaginal orgasms. I hear it's a thing.
- Galina 'Red' Reznikov: Have you, by any chance, come across the name Wes Driscoll? I think the Almas has his initials tattooed on his wrist. I smell something.
- Blanca Flores: Almas?
- Galina 'Red' Reznikov: Yes, you know, ape man. What do you people call it? Bigfoot? Yeti? Hairy, neckless sadist with pituitary issues?
- [about the food]
- Linda Ferguson: This was supposed to have chunks of real carrot in it. And in the picture, there was a sprig of parsley in the bowl. I bet they never serve this with parsley, do they?
- Piper Chapman: That is one formidable cock!
- Alex Vause: Hearing you say "formidable cock" is such a turnoff that, honestly, I might never get wet again.
- Linda Ferguson: Von Barlow. Pleasure to meet you. I'm the Counterfeit Cunt of Connecticut.
- Alex Vause: You mean you're not a real cunt?
- Dayanara Diaz: Wow! This is a big knife.
- Gloria Mendoza: You know what? Why don't you go stir the pot? 'Coz you're good at that.