- DCI John Barnaby: I'm DCI John Barnaby. I was hoping for an estimated time of death.
- Fleur Perkins: Are you a smoker? Heavy drinker?
- DCI John Barnaby: No?
- Fleur Perkins: Then I give you another thirty years.
- [Fleur keeps pestering Barnaby to get his dog, Paddy, castrated]
- DCI John Barnaby: If you're going to stick around here, you'll have to learn the legends.
- DS Jamie Winter: Yes, we've got a headless horseman, a faceless phantom...
- Fleur Perkins: A bollock-less dog?
- [Paddy growls]
- Fleur Perkins: We'll be into dental record territory for a formal identity, I'll tell you that much. Boiled human flesh isn't something I work with every day, so I'll need to consult a specialist. And possibly a cook book.
- Fleur Perkins: Sorry I'm late. I was removing a chainsaw from a chest cavity. I wish these farmers wouldn't drink.
- Fleur Perkins: Still got his testicles, that's your problem.
- DCI John Barnaby: Told you, just your type.
- DS Jamie Winter: Very funny.
- Fleur Perkins: Hold on. Are you one of those?
- DCI John Barnaby: Those what?
- Fleur Perkins: You've got the look of a fainter about you. Tell me now, and I'll get you a chair.
- DCI John Barnaby: I'm fine, thank you.