- Nostalgia Critic: So Jack laughs...
- [Jack laughs]
- Nostalgia Critic: And then the man laughs...
- [the man laughs]
- Nostalgia Critic: And then he laughs again...
- [the man laughs again]
- Nostalgia Critic: And then he-
- [the man laughs again psychotically]
- Nostalgia Critic: Thus Chris Hansen's number was put on speed dial! He, of course, sells him the magic beans after doing a squat dance...
- [while the man does this squat dance while laughing creepily, the cow moos in confusion]
- Nostalgia Critic: You said it, cow...
- Nostalgia Critic: More Sugar-Frosted Nightmares, please! What the enchanted crack pipe are we watching here? Why all the paper people? Why all the trippy animation? Why that priest that sounds like he's getting his testicles clipped to a car battery every other word?
- Priest: Are you hapPYYY?... can YOU?... OUT?... he IS?
- Nostalgia Critic: NONE OF THIS is explained! It's all just pure madness! To a point where when Jack comes in and finally kisses her, you've totally forgotten about the age thing! It's not even a spark in your mind; all you're thinking is 'Are you hapPYYY? Are you hapPYYY?' NO! I'm very confused and rather afraid! What is this?
- Nostalgia Critic: She explains what happened to her in great detail, but there's one problem: it's told entirely in squeaks.
- [scene is shown]
- Nostalgia Critic: I haven't been this happy to not have subtitles since the Star Wars Holiday Special.