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Dear Diary I Died (2016)
Could have been better
I didn't expect too much from this film as I was primarily intrigued by the title. As a result I was disappointed to find that the main character doesn't, in fact, die.
It starts out as a bland afternoon movie but it does get up to speed eventually. The whodunit plot isn't half bad and I could almost follow it. What would have been a huge improvement would be if there was some way to silence the awful constant "music" which was droning away in the background all the time and thus obscuring a lot of the dialogue.
So in the end I gave it a score of five out of ten, although four would probably be more accurate. It has its merits. The lead actress is very cute and has some acting chops, so I'd like to see her as a secondary character in something more mainstream.
Witch Hunt (2021)
Really good modern witch film about much more than witches
I don't know what the people who wrote bad reviews were expecting. Well, actually, I do. This isn't a special effects film. Nor is it a teen film. It's much more subtle. It has shades of Second World War persecution of Jews. Instead of hiding Jews in safe houses, they're hiding witches. I really liked the way that the actual witchcraft was played down. The visual effects were sparingly saved for when they had the most impact.
I would have enjoyed this film even more if the WeDoTV app on my Roku hadn't kept trying to perform its own witchcraft by throwing me out of the film at the ad breaks. Fortunately I had recorded it from the Legend channel as well, so I could watch the last 20 minutes in FuzzyVision on Freeview (UK).
I thought the performances were pitch perfect and the direction didn't try to be flashy. It's a good story with morals and lessons, beautifully told. I'm tempted to give it a 10 to try and jog the IMDB score up a little, but I'm not sure that would actually work.
I hope to watch this film again one day, in HD and in one continuous viewing without all the technical glitches.
PS: I loved the way "Thelma and Louise" was inserted into the narrative.
You & Me (2023)
Good grief this character is annoying
I liked the first episode, even though it was so obviously a weepie. But as the series went on, I began to dislike Ben more and more. He really is the most irritating character. He never lets anyone else get a word in edgeways.
I really don't have a problem with Jessica Barden, even though some reviewers seem to think she looks and acts like a teenager. She's not. But her character obviously has doubts about the wedding so, regardless of how she feels about Ben, she obviously shouldn't be committing to marriage.
Now I'm halfway into episode three and I've basically lost any sympathy I once had for any of the characters. So it's no longer a weepie.
I have more practical issues with You And Me such as the initial "accident" which kills Jess. I just don't believe that any vehicle would be speeding enough to collide that severely with another outside a hospital entrance.
I initially gave this procuction 7 out of 10 but I've reduced this to 6 as I dislike the Ben character so much. I've already read a spoiler about episode three and if it's true, I might subtract another point.
Orpheline (2016)
Disjointed
I'm watching this on Mubi in the UK and I have to admit that I have pretty much no idea what is happening at any point. There seem to be several separate films joined together for no reason. Despite the cast including several of my favourite actors, I'm constantly on the verge of abandoning it. It's not like there is anyone to get attached to or sympathise with, and I can't see any connection between the episodes aside from guest appearances by certain characters. I'm giving it 5 out of 10 as a sympathy vote as I think I'm probably missing something. Finally, for character length, it's interesting and refreshing to find Gemma Arterton in a French film.
Madres paralelas (2021)
Well that's just silly
Well that's just silly. Why isn't someone suing the hospital? What planet is she living on? Why didn't both the mothers spot the skin colour difference at the hospital? Who is responsible for the jarring editing? So many questions.
Penelope Cruz is superb in this film, and she looks like a teenager, but it's like she's completely out of place because the film itself is just annoying. It's like a series of random vignettes - all filmed indoors and in close-up.
I've never been a great Almodovar fan, but there are so few quality films around these days that I thought I'd give it a whirl on Mubi. Unfortunately, it was obvious very early on what the "twist" was going to be. The addition of a further twist didn't really compensate.
Given all that, the final sequence regarding the exhumation of victims of the civil war was quite touching, so I'll add a star to my rating.
Prodigal Son (2019)
Please not another one
I took a look at this because I needed something new to watch and Halston Sage is in it. But I saw the first episode only to discover that it's yet another serial killer and yet another damaged profiler and even more cops who tolerate him even though they find him really irritating.
There's a lot of over acting, very gloomy sets and agonising over the past. Which brings me to the flashbacks. I hate flashbacks, but particularly when they involve children, followed by nightmares when they grow up.
And I really do not want to know about exotic ways to kill people. I'm not sure that anyone, unless they have a sick mind, really wants to know.
Dans la brume (2018)
Enjoyable if you're feeling forgiving
I've always thought of Romain Duris as the French Nicholas Cage. He always seems to play idiots. This is the third sci fi thriller that I've watched in the last two days on Rakuten TV. The first was I. T. with Pierce Brosnan which was okay but stretched credulity somewhat. The second was Elizabet Harvest which was rather good. The there was Dans la Brume or Hold Your Breath. I don't like Romain Duris but I thought it might be worth a look.
This is another example of a "let's take unnecessary risks" movie. Why do something in a sensible straightforward way when we can do it the risky way? Why save one oxygen mask to ensure that one parent stays alive when we can both go out into poisonous fog? It's so annoying. And running from a dangerous dog seems to be the wrong move. You're wasting oxygen. Stay put and swing the hammer at it.
For someone who everyone is relying on he's very reckless. And, of course, he always promises that he'll be back. Then he drives a scooter far too fast and tried to answer the phone in his pocket without stopping. What a plonker!
It just got a bit too silly at the end, so only 5/10. Loses points for Romain Duris being in it and for the highly unlikely ending. And the lack of any explanation for where the mysterious gas came from in the first place. I liked the music under the credits, though.
Reyka (2021)
Spare me from traumatised cops
Episode 1 - set in South Africa, attractive but psychologically disturbed female police profiler who was kidnapped as a child and until recently was an alcoholic. Her kidnapper is due for release after twenty years in the nick. She has a daughter around the same age as she was when she was kidnapped. She visits her kidnapper in jail and displays an odd affection for him. As a result of the visit, she falls off the wagon and lets down her daughter by not turning up at her school performance. Yet she's trying to get official sole custody of her daughter.
Nice scenery. Good acting. Hackneyed main character. Do I care what this utter mess of a police profiler does next? No. Will I be watching episode 2? No. I'm so fed up of police people who can barely concentrate enough to do their job because of some past trauma. From now on they're on their own. I have zero sympathy for their dysfunctional existence.
Vincent N Roxxy (2016)
Subtitles needed. Graphic violence not needed.
I'm not sure what this film was about. Maybe I missed a scene somewhere. I've a feeling the TV channel cut the nudity out but left the violence in. It should have been the other way round.
Anyway, as most of the dialogue was garbled I didn't fully understand what was happening, and the TV channel didn't have subtitles.
I admit to skipping through the violence, which I always do as a matter of course these days. I like Zoe Kravitz but what was with the weird hairdo at the end?
Threesome (2021)
Well made
This is one of those series about beautiful young people having relationship problems in the big city. I'd feel very lucky to have the same problems that they have. The central couple has been together for too long and is starting to drift apart so, when they have a spur of the moment threesome, it triggers feelings and doubts that have been festering for some time. She doesn't want to ask the question and he doesn't think there's anything to discuss as the threesome was by mutual consent.
It's a very well made production and, despite some of the comments in here, I think the acting is very good. In fact a lot of the dialogue is unspoken. If you don't pay attention throughout you'll miss what Siri is feeling as it's expressed on her face rather than in words.
The sex scenes could have been embarrassing but I thought they were pretty realistic. I hope they had an intimacy coordinator on the set as they were very raw.
I'd love to see a follow-up series.
Our House (2022)
Not so bad, really
Love Tuppence Middleton but not a fan of one trick pony Martin Compston so I was a bit trepidacious about embarking on this, especially as I rarely watch any ITV programmes.
Dark rooms, poor lighting, lots of wine drinking. An infeasibly expensive house. A turgid plot. Far too many close-ups. And the titular Madness song was going through my head all the time.
However, it kept me gripped to the end so I have to give it 7. I think his suicide was a bit unlikely and I'd like to know if she got off the murder charge with a self defence plea. But essentially I enjoyed it. So there!
Replicas (2018)
So many little hills to die on
I have to ask myself why I'm watching this drivel. And the only answer is that I really like Alice Eve. But the poor woman has to play a bland replica of a bland character. There are so many plot holes in this that you really have to suspend disbelief. Suspend it way up high above the stratosphere.
I'm giving it five for the moment but I may revise this figure down at a later date - not that I ever wish to see this stupid film ever again. Enough reviewers have already identified the flaws in the science and logic, so I won't go there. It seemed to want me to be empathetic regarding the omission of Zoe from his resurrection circus but I really couldn't feel anything for this misguided Frankenstein scientist.
However, if anyone finds a way to replicate Alice Eve cheaply and multiple times, put me on the waiting list.
The Age of Nature (2020)
Far too optimistic
I'm sorry but you can't convince me that we're not destroying the planet. You can't even pronounce the word "nuclear". It's new-clear. Easy, right? NOT nukuler. For goodness sake.
We're still heavily reliant on fossil fuels and we're still cutting down the Amazon. And governments still prioritise the economy above nature. Sorry, but I can't watch this sugary confection.
Chloe (2022)
Well, I like it!
I don't know what people want. The pacing is just right. The dialogue is often very witty. The casting is perfect. The photography and direction are great.
It is a BBC Three series, really. The main character is a duplicitous b****, but fascinating nonetheless. I'm only on episode four but unless the ending is really that bad, I'll probably award it seven out of ten.
Just one thing - surely Elliot must have a housekeeper. So where is she?
Mum's List (2016)
Sob story
If you want to cry all the way through a movie, you couldn't pick a better one. Unfortunately, I only watched this because it's set in Clevedon and I used to live there so I was interested to see what locations they used.
There isn't really a story as it's all apparent right from the start. I have to say that I wouldn't have chosen to watch this if it wasn't filmed in Clevedon.
Fortunately, Rafe Spall's character is really irritating, which helps stem the tears. And maybe I blinked, but I've no idea what he (or she) did for a living.
Romance (1999)
Not so shocking, really
I was interested in watching this. It reminded me a lot of Eric Rohmer's Comedies et Proverbs but here, instead of talking rubbish about love, they talk rubbish about sex. Unfortunately there's nothing sexy about this film.
What I really do not understand is why she stays with her boring sexless boyfriend. She leaves it rather late to leave him. And where did the cat come from?
The ending is suddenly like Antonio filmed it in the sixties. Weird.
In summary, it's okay if you like this sort of thing. If not, you'll absolutely hate it.
Wildlife (2018)
Beautiful
Beautiful framing. Beautiful music. Beautiful acting. Beautiful landscapes. Beautiful direction. Beautiful sound design. Just beautiful. Beautiful 150 characters.
The Voyeurs (2021)
Glossy but improbable
This is about two people who can afford a huge apartment but they have the mentality of 12 year olds. Oh, and he has a comedy voice and the personality of someone who has been written, in that he's stereotypical. His partner is really cute and has a great body but he's not very interested in having sex with her. So why are they together?
Having watched the whole thing, my recommendation is to not think too much about it or you'll start to question some of the plot details. It's entertaining enough but highly unlikely. I didn't know Sydney Sweeney from Eve but she has some impressive talents which kept me interested.
Coroner (2019)
Well done in the face of the pandemic
Just finished episode 1 of the third season and I have to admire their determination to keep going regardless of Covid. Season 2 got a bit crazy with just about everyone losing their minds. And sometimes it verges on New Amsterdam schmaltz, but usually veers off before it goes too far.
They manage to keep it fresh, and I love the two leads. Her son is an idiot and acts 12 despite supposedly being 19, so he's a bit irritating. But I'm still enjoying it. I really don't understand the low ratings as it's perfectly entertaining and the characters are engaging. Plus the crime plots manage to stay fresh and inventive.
I like it! It's not exceptional but it's well acted and constructed and deserves to stay on air. I'm looking forward to the rest of season 3.
8 Tage (2019)
Don't worry, I'll be back soon!
This series should be renamed "Don't worry, I'll be back soon", because all the characters seem to say this at some point, and they never are. I started to take some pleasure in watching whatever ills befell them, as they're all pretty unlikeable. Even the well-intentioned characters are guilty about some transgression in their past. Despite having little sympathy for anyone, it's still fun to find out what happens to them. And I don't think it's a spoiler to say that it all goes horribly wrong.
The Murders (2019)
Could do better
Worth watching only for Jessica Lucas. Her sidekick is really unpleasant. Half the dialogue is exposition. The incidental music is awful. It's a daytime cop show with annoying characters and Murder of the Day plots.
Before We Go (2014)
Nice NY encounter with no sex or violence
Very Before Sunrise but I really liked it. Maybe that's why. Just a couple of questions. What happened to room service, and where did she find the money for the train?
Den skyldige (2018)
This guy should be fired
Well, I watched 30 minutes of a dysfunctional idiot in an emergency call centre and abandoned it. Too irritating.
Traces (2019)
Stilted but entertaining enough
Lots of good actors in this and a pretty good plot. Fewer clichés than there might have been, which is refreshing. But why did Molly Windsor phone her performance in? She's better than this. Still, worth bingeing on iPlayer or whatever streaming service you find it on.
Tu mérites un amour (2019)
Talking about relationships
Reminded me of Eric Rohmer's Comedies and Proverbs. Lots of talking about relationships but nothing nuch happens or gets resolved. It's mildly entertaining but essentially pointless. The guys are all unreliable, unfaithful adolescents and the girls complain but still tolerate them. Nicely filmed and well acted but it's a confection.