Reviews

Imagine "Silence of the Lambs" remade with Inspector Clouseau as the lead detective -- except the film is supposed to be serious. Because that's what this is -- Japan's dumbest detective on the trail of a gruesome serial killer.

You could make a drinking game out this film by taking a drink every time the protagonist lets the killer get away. Wait, that might result in acute alcohol poisoning, so you'd better limit the game to every time the detective falls down in the street.

I understand why lazy filmmakers use contrivances to advance the plot, but this is taking it to the extreme.

This entry is from the phase where Zatoichi has been completely sanitized into a 100% good guy. Between that an a scene where a tweenage girl breaks into song, this could be a Disney film if were it not for the 10 minutes of screen time where the bad guys die by Zatoichi's sword.

The later films are the ones that create a truly gritty where the Zatoichi character can expand back into the "good guy with a heart of gold but a mean streak" space that made the first Zatoichi films resonate so well. In other words, if you want to see the Zatoichi films not in chronological order but in descending order of greatness, I would save this one for the last batch.

The Zatoichi series take a huge jump upward with this entry. Everything also falls into line -- you can tell people in front of and behind the camera had really hit their stride.

This film offers more action that the previous entries, as well as stunning cinematography and gorgeous production values. Another bonus -- the appearance of Katsu Shintaro's real-life older brother, Wakayama Tomisaburo. It's as if the box office performance of the previous films justified bringing out the big guns this time.

If you're new to Zatoichi and wondering with which film to take the plunge, then "Chest of Gold" is definitely worth your time.

Yes, it's true, this is one of the worst episodes in the entire series, right down there with "The Empath." Yes, Lazarus is one of the most irritating characters, always falling off cliffs to move the story (such as it is) along.

The *only* thing that's interesting in this episode is when Lazarus finally explains how his cat-and-mouse with his alternate-universe counterpart came about. Both the sci-fi physics element and the madman element of the premise are fascinating. But this explanation comes in the last 5 minutes of the show, after 40 minutes of exhausting shenanigans -- too late to even buy the "r" in the word "redeem."

I would love to know the backstory about how this episode went from fascinating concept to crummy filmed episode. Perhaps that would help ease the pain that this entry's very existence creates in the beating heart of the series.

Another interesting bit about this episode is that with it, the series nearly bottoms out before rocketing to the top with the very next episode, "City on the Edge of Forever." From the very bottom, the only way to go is up.

It's bad enough that, like a lot of Space: 1999 episodes, this one is a 15-minute story dragged out to 50 minutes. But what makes this one truly maddening is the characters' idiotic acceptance of an unbelievable situation: the sudden appearance of Dr. Helena Russell's long-presumed-dead husband on an Eagle--returning from, of all places, an investigation of an inhabitable planet. Dr. Russell accepts without doubt that it is in fact her husband, and (even more maddening) Commander Koenig accepts it, too. And of course this "person" is left unguarded in Medical: They're going to let him rest up and then question "him" later. (I mean, it's not like these people have ever run into any tricky aliens before, right?) A big chunk of the episode is taken up by this person engaging in the obvious nefariousness while the crew of Alpha remains oblivious. Of all forms of contrivance used by lazy script writers, the "stupid character" one is the most annoying, and this episode has it in spades. The only possible value in watching this episode is to see the stupendously bad ending. It's as if the writers woke up on the set after an all-night bender only 10 minutes before the end of filming and made up the ending right there on the spot. Other than seeing what has my nomination for Worst Episode Ending of the Entire Series, avoid this entry unless you're positively writhing-around-on-the-ground desperate for a Space: 1999 fix.

This film gets off to a roaring start, with plenty of action, propelled by rich production values, beautiful mountain scenery, and Kinnosuke's likable, high-energy performance. Toshikazu Kôno's action is precise and muscular, with lots of moving-camera shots. Especially engaging is the scene, which concludes the first act, where Masamune is ambushed in the rain and must single-handedly slice his way to freedom. Having become the titular one-eyed dragon, he begins a drawn-out, introspective recuperation as he seeks to regain his mojo -- and the action comes to a screeching halt.

The super-slow second act is also where the love interests take center stage, and Masamune has to choose between a commoner's pretty daughter and an elegant princess. Act III brings back the action and snaps Masamune out of his deep funk when the scheming daimyo next door invades Masamune's father's lands. Portrayed as always wanting to limit battle to the extent necessary to stop the fighting, Masamune faces another tough choice as the third act speeds along ...

... to a conclusion that many may find unsatisfying: the film ends with Masamune, having become a full-fledged warrior-leader, setting out on a campaign that Japanese audiences in 1959 could be assumed to be completely familiar with. Still, it's as if the entire movie were itself the first act of a larger story, or part one of a larger epic. What happens to Masamune in that campaign? We're left able only to wonder. (It would be as if "Lawrence of Arabia" ended at the intermission.)

So, while the filmmakers' decision to focus only on Masamune's early years allows a leisurely look at his transformation into the warrior that history knows him as today, the uninitiated viewer may find that the story ends just as it was getting interesting.

Only about collecting a paycheck, it would seem.

The substandard direction and camerawork give this loser the feel of a made-for-Showtime throw-away. The unfortunates who paid hard-earned money to see this on the big screen should file a class-action lawsuit, because the filmmakers were not using big-screen flmmaking techniques at all.

(DVD picture quality only magnifies the poor atmosphere. Years from now, a bad print shown on TV after sitting in a damp warehouse for a while may actually give the film some character.)

The A-list cast and the solid performances they turn in (particularly Lindo) do not come close to saving this one. They all should have taken whatever OTHER script they were considering at the time.

And, sorry, but the dialog ain't that hot, either. It's stilted, contrived, and out of date, like all the characters just got out of a Bogart marathon. What's worse, some of the words and expressions are overused. Such as "You're burned, man" (i.e., you were witnessed).

No, the moviegoing public got burned. . . by this dud.

Jake Goes Straight!

This sequel to "Once Were Warriors" attempts to do for Jake Heke what "Hannibal" attempted to do for the eponymous cannibal: turn him into a hero. In both cases, the very idea is ludicrous because the original characters were either so despicable or so purely evil (and were intended to be so).

"What Becomes of the Broken Hearted" begins by portraying the reform of Jake--his learning to control his explosively violent temper and helping his son Sonny control his. But themes such as the passing down of abusive behavior from one generation to the next are touched on and then abandoned midway in favor of the safe, predictable format of a rescue-and-revenge flick. The second half is Jake's redemption through his efforts to save Sonny (from himself and the mess he gets himself into), and the idea of a former wife-beater using violence to redeem himself (but it's for his son!) is a bothersome contradiction.

This movie also has a completely different feel than OWW. Some staging verges on the amateurish--a gang rave looks more like a high school dance--and Jake's world is depicted as almost suburban, complete with strip-mall bars and a girlfriend ensconced in a picket-fenced house. (Gone is the gritty, insular world in which Jake seemed a product of his environment.) In a sense, this highlights his out-of-placeness but is underdeveloped as a theme and ultimately lessens the film's impact.

But that does not mean that "What Becomes" lacks its strong points. Temuera Morrison is intense, and many other characters turn in solid performances, particularly Rawiri Paratene, perfectly cast in the role of Mulla.

The creators (and bankrollers) of "What Becomes. . ." no doubt realized that even moviegoers riveted by the unflinching reality of OWW could not stomach another 90 minutes of the same brutality, and so sought to make Jake into a more palatable franchise... er, character. A reincarnation of the character of Jake (played, of course, by Temuera) would be perfect for the type of basic action-drama that this film is at heart.

On its own, this is a solid, appealing film but ultimately cannot escape the shadow of its gut-wrenching predecessor. OWW deserved a more-serious sequel, and a sense of guilt nags the viewer who attempts to root for this film's version of Jake the Muss. Nevertheless, the film can be enjoyed on its own by forgetting--at least for 90 minutes--the character's well-deserved infamy.

In what could have been a gem of a film, an A-list cast, solid

performances, top-notch scripting, and gritty direction are

ultimately wasted because of a fatal flaw: the movie's abrupt,

180-degree switch from ex-con-trying-to-go-straight film to pure

caper flick. Either approach would have worked well had the

director picked one and stuck to it. As the film is, however,

Hoffman's character--as well as everyone else's, with the

exception of H. D. Stanton's Jerry--becomes completely

unsympathetic in the end. Some movies successfully deal with

self-destructive characters; the 2nd half of "Straight Time" could

have also been that type of film, as well. But Max, once pushed,

dives back into the criminal world with far too much gusto for the

viewer not to feel chagrined for having sympathized with him in the

first half. In today's three-strikes-and-you're-out society, one could

easily assume that was the point all along. But the dehumanization of the first half is depicted too effectively for such a

theme. Still, "Straight Time's" merits are strong enough to be

enjoyed on their own.

"Not as bad as you'd think" is not a very convincing way to start a review, I admit, but this is a movie that had a lot going for it. A lot of potential, but not completely wasted. The scrip, including dialog, is rather intelligent. And the smartest thing the film's creators did was cast Brynner, von Sydow, and Smith (who is one of the most underrated bad guys in Hollywood. I wish Tarantino would rediscover him the way he did Travolta, Keaton, Forster--and just about half the main characters of most of his films, in fact). Perhaps, though, the stars' salaries left little money for sets and costumes, which are pathetic. The lighting is about as atmospheric as a dogfood commercial. Sadly, director Clouse's usual flair for fight scenes is, with the exception of a couple of nice touches here and there, absent.

Interestingly, "Day of the Dead" borrows heavily from this film, from the basic storyline (handful of survivors of apocalypse fighting against one another as a handful of them plot escape) right down to the cauterization-with-torch scene and the island-as-escape-from-wordly-chaos theme.

On its own merits, this is an engaging, skillfully crafted movie: Jason Scott Lee and Lauren Holly shine as Mr. and Mrs. Lee, and the fight scenes are top-notch. Those who enjoy stories of a likable couple whose love for one another must overcome great odds can enjoy the film on that level.

But as a biopic of Bruce Lee, however, "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" is not merely riddled with annoying inaccuracies, but it is inaccurate in ways that effectively downplay how determined the real Bruce Lee was. (For instance, the movie shows Holly's Linda Lee encouraging Bruce to open his first martial arts school, but in reality, Bruce had already done so when he first met Linda, who was one of his students.)

Inaccuracies like these compound into what to this Bruce Lee fan is the film's biggest flaw: its failure to convey to the audience that Bruce Lee attained superstardom precisely because that is what he worked so hard to achieve from the outset.

A good example of a movie in search of a plot. What started out as an interesting premise (after all, how many movies being released are set in Africa?) becomes intolerably ridiculous with the use of an insulting (to Africans) plot device about a dead body that the locals insist cannot be moved out of fear of offending a local deity. Good actors, lousy film.