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Refined 70s trash cinema
15 January 2001
...perhaps I ought say "distilled" rather than refined - this film embodies the concentrated essence of the trashy 70s action flick, a heady brew for the irony-poisoned minds of today's trash conisseur's minds (e.g. mine).

"Stoner" (as it was labelled at my local rental store) opens with a shot of an urbanely smug 'Asian drug lord' kicking back in his office. The walls are all red, his desk perpetually rotates, and there's a big map on the wall covered in flashing lights. The mere shock of the decor alone sets the tone for the remainder of the movie - jerky fight scenes, needless sexploitation, and pornstar swaggering all drenched in polyester and enveloped in a funky soundtrack punctuated with some very strange moog.

Needless to say, it's hilarious. George Lazenby, incidentally, proves himself pretty useless throughout the film, both in-character and out-. The real star is Angela Mao, rolling her eyes about furiously and kicking arse in the surprisingly good final fight scene. I guess George's role was played up for Western release so we'd have a strutting, obnoxious white guy to relate to.
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Ninjas, softporn soap opera, and no conceivable connection.
2 December 2000
More devilment from Tomas Tang. See my comments on "Ninja Demon's Massacre" if you need to know what the Tang Formula is.

Normally Tang edits ninja footage into action movies, but in this rare exception, he's chosen to violate a weak softporn HK soap opera about "Warren's" adventures at the modelling school. Naturally, it is improved by the addition of ninjas. The incongruity of the ninja storyline within the bulk of the footage is even greater than usual. Which is funny, until your head starts aching.

Features Richard Harrison II, perhaps my favourite Tang stalwart.
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6/10
Brain-damaging, but fun.
2 December 2000
Producer Tomas Tang applies his magic formula once again. For those of you that don't know, the Tang formula is:

Any Movie Whatsoever + NINJA = $$$ ...we means mediocre unreleased Thai and Hong Kong films re-dubbed and have ninja footage spliced into them almost at random.

Mayhem ensues.

This time the victim is an unremarkable Thai movie about a couple of thugs going up against a crime gang who ruthlessly rule a field somewhere with a fist of iron. Somehow ninjas are tied into this. And the Cold War - a rare theme in Tomas Tang's work, but a personal favourite.

And there's a CIA agent called "Robinson Collins". But no demon's massacre, sorry.
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