Change Your Image
traciecavill
Reviews
Angustia (1987)
Creative and Bizarre
Michael Lerner plays a mommy-obsessed serial killer who cuts out the eyeballs of his victims to bring them back to his mother played by Zelda Rubenstein, but that's not all there is to this film. It turns out that this is just a movie playing in a movie theater and the real killer is in there and ready to slash some victims of his own.
Anguish has an inventive premise and some moments of effective bloody violence, but it's not the most emotionally involving of films and it's hard to figure out who to pull for. It works better as an artistic experiment than a normal film.
Orphan (2009)
Enjoyably Campy Thriller
Kate and John want to add a new member to their family after losing one of their children and they settle on the precocious Esther. Once inside their house, there seems to be nothing but trouble and Esther might be the culprit behind it, but will anyone believe Kate?
Orphan takes the time-honored "Bad Seed" premise and updates it to our modern world and excellent performances by Farmiga and Fuhrman in particular elevate what could have been an average "(blank) from Hell" Lifetime movie. The film has a great, cold winter look and some really shocking moments of violence and perversity to keep the audience on edge.
The Ring (2002)
One of the Scariest Movies Ever Made
It's hard to imagine a film about a cursed video tape making a big splash these days, but that's just what The Ring did when it was released late in 2022, igniting the box office on fire and starting a long-running trend of Asian horror remakes.
Naomi Watts plays Rachel, a reporter who gets the story of her life when her teenage niece and her friends are found dead under mysterious circumstances. After a little digging, she finds out that they all went to a secluded cabin in the woods and saw the same eerie video tape. When she decides to watch it for herself, the phone rings and a child's voice lets her know that she has seven days until the curse comes for her, too.
Gore Verbinski gets every bit of dread and tension out of the premise and its ticking time bomb screenplay will keep you on the edge of your seat. There are twists you won't expect and the scares are still just as blood-curdling as they were in 2002.
Crazy in Alabama (1999)
This is An Odd One
Crazy in Alabama is one of those films that slipped through the cracks right before the new century, but it does have some assured direction from Antonio Banderas and a great performance by this then wife, Melanie Griffith.
Griffith plays her usual semi-ditz with a heart of gold, but with a southern accent this time. She's just murdered her husband, left her entire litter of children with her mother, and, in turn, forced out her two nephews from living under that roof. The film follows her journey to L.A. to become a movie star as her husband's decapitated head (which she carries in a hat box) taunts her from beyond the grave and her nephews get mixed up in southern, small town police brutality and race relations in the 1960s.
Because Crazy in Alabama is about two very different storylines, it can sometimes feel a bit tonally bizarre. One minute, you're watching Griffith nab a role on Bewitched as her husband's decapitated head taunts her and the next, you're seeing a young black boy murdered in cold blood by a crooked cop. It's an uneasy mix of comedy and drama that don't always go well together, but there are enough interesting ideas, good performances, and directorial flair to keep it entertaining.
Girls Nite Out (1982)
Some Good Times
Girls Nite Out probably doesn't get talked about as much as many of the other slasher films of the early 80's and for good reason. There's not a lot of suspense, many of the kills are unimaginative, and it never gives us a stable protagonist to root for.
It's much more of an ensemble film than anything else with the film's focus shifting from one person to the next as the coeds on a college campus are picked off one by one by a psycho in their school's bear mascot costume during a scavenger hunt.
A late in the game twist does redeem the film slightly and closes the film on a really creepy note, but by that point, it's a little too late to liven things up much. Hal Holbrook looks like he shot all of his scenes in one day and doesn't seem too happy about it.
Vice Academy (1989)
Good Fun
Let's face it - Vice Academy is about as dumb as movies get. It takes a little while to get used to its silly charms, but once you do, you just turn off your brain and go along for the ride. Everyone seems to be having such a good time and attacking the material with such sincere enthusiasm that it somehow transcends good movie or bad movie categorization. How can you say a movie is bad when everyone seems to be having such a good time that it, in turn, makes you have a good time as well?
The story is basically a mash up of Police Academy and Angel with attractive vice squad students being forced to pose as hookers and adult stars to capture drug dealers, underage graphers, and horny johns. There's your usual in-fighting between two of the girls played by scream queen Linnea Quigley and ex-adult star Ginger Lynn to see who can be the teacher's pet and nab the most scum from the street.
This used to get a lot of air time on USA's Up All Night in the 90's and it's easy to see why. This is the kind of cheesy and playfully sleazy movie they always loved to play. If you're a fan of these kinds of movies, you'll probably enjoy a lot of the movie. Sure, there are times when the pacing takes a holiday, but they always end up winning you back with a fun banter session or a somewhat funny set piece or two.
Halloween (2007)
Half Original Ideas, Half Slave To the Original
It'll be hard to even think of John Carpenter's original film during the first 45 minutes of the film. It uses a more grungy version of Carpenter's theme song and is a story of a young boy murdering his sister on Halloween night, but that's about all that feels similar. Like it or not, Zombie has brought in his trailer park aesthetic to make the childhood of Michael Myers a living nightmare. No longer a seemingly harmless little boy from a normal family who turned cold-blooded murderer at age 6 for no reason, this Michael Myers seemed to never have a fair shot at a normal future. Stuck with a cruel sister, a string of even more useless and abusive stepfathers, and a well meaning but slightly more self-obsessed mother just trying to make ends meet, the kid was bound to turn out unbalanced.
Indeed, the first 30 minutes of Zombie's Halloween are sometimes over the top with their language, but do tend to be aspiring to bring something new to the table. As crudely executed as they are, you get the feeling that you'll at least have an experience you won't forget and that will shed some new light on a familiar, well worn story.
It's a pity that Zombie's Halloween does away with this approach mid way through. Michael has his murder spree, gets sent to a mental hospital, and goes mute at some point in his teens and becomes a cold, ruthless killing machine more akin to Carpenter's take on the character than Zombie's more articulate prologue.
It quickly becomes a movie that's doomed to please no one - the fans who want a slavish imitation of the original or the ones looking for something new and interesting. By the finale, it's nearly copying scenes shot for shot from Carpenter's film and executing them with less style and ease. The Michael and world from the prologue doesn't seem to mesh with the world from the rest of the movie.
A good remake should tell a familiar story in a way or style that makes a re-telling useful or interesting in some way. Rob Zombie's Halloween comes incredibly close to doing that, but drops the ball a little over midway through.
Haunt (2019)
The Haunts Are Real!
Thematically similar to last year's Hell Fest, Haunt deals with similar territory, but it's different enough to not feel like you'd be wasting your time if you'd already seen the other film.
A battered young woman escapes from a Halloween evening with her abusive boyfriend and goes to hang out with her fun loving friends. They pick up some guys and drive around, wondering what to do next. They encounter a quaint haunted house attraction deep in the woods and decide that this should be how they spend their Halloween night. Since this this is a horror film, you can already guess that the performers inside might have more sinister and deadly motives than just supplying a good scare or two.
Haunt is a fairly simplistic movie, but the performances are mostly above average for a film of this sort and it's refreshing to see horror film characters do the right thing on multiple occasions. I can't say it's a tremendous, original take on the slasher genre, but it gets the job done and supplies a few jolts here and there.
The effects work is great and, when the villains' masks come off, it's a pretty horrifying sight. I do wish that, perhaps, there was a bit more backstory about this haunted house and the performers who inhabit it. How long has this been up? Have they done this in other locations? The logistics were hurting my head a bit, but thankfully, the movie moves so quick that you don't have a lot of time to think about such things as you're watching it.
Brain Damage (1988)
Strange, Unusual, and Incredibly Entertaining
Frank Henenlotter's brain must work differently than most people's, because how he thinks up most of his movies boggles my mind. They're usually both disgusting and freakishly funny at the same time and Brain Damage is no exception.
Brain Damage deals with a parasite named Elmer (or Aylmer) who escapes from his elderly hosts and climbs through the drain of their apartment complex to find a new host. It attaches itself to a normal every day guy and addicts him to the drug it supplies by shooting a needle into his brain and giving him a euphoric rush. Due to his addiction, he allows Elmer to kill people and suck out their brains if it means he can keep getting high.
Credit must be paid to Rick Hearst who carries the entire film and is in just about every single scene. He runs a full gamut of emotions and goes for broke in ways many actors wouldn't. The special effects are also pretty terrific with excellent animation and puppetry for Elmer and several gnarly effects for Elmer's victims.
For those looking for something a little gore, a little bit of laughs, and a whole lot of twisted imagination, Brain Damage should fit the bill.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Not Bad For a First Try
House of 1,000 Corpses has all the right ingredients to be terrifying. There are some set ups and pieces of imagery that will be hard to forget after you've seen the film, but it insists on playing everything like a drunken drag queen who means no harm. When a scene should be shocking and bone chilling, it's undercut by silly characterizations and poor execution.
The story recalls Texas Chainsaw Massacre as two couples travel around the country finding strange tourist traps and curios out of the way from civilization. They fall upon Captain Spaulding's Freak Show and Fried Chicken and are entertained by the strange redneck clown's "infamous" Murder Ride which ends on a local legend of a serial killer named Dr. Satan. Being overly curious horror movie characters, they ask about the whereabouts of where he was killed by a vigilante mob and, on the way, they get a flat tire. Stuck in the rain with a sexy hitchhiker they just picked up, she tells them that her brother has a tow truck and will help them.
They head to her house and meet her entire bizarre family complete with a foul mouthed grandpa, a drag queen-esque mother, a freakishly tall burn victim, and a truly demented psychopath.
House of the 1,000 Corpses aces its initial set up and loads up up with a good deal of mood and some nice moments of well-earned humor, but once we get to the titular house, things start getting silly instead of funny or scary. The entire film is punctuated with odd asides that look as if they've been recorded on a family camcorder that don't really add much to the film and, if anything, take us out of the story.
There are still many inventively gruesome and bizarre moments and images that make it a worthwhile watch, but it's a frustrating one.
Happy Hell Night (1991)
Not-So-Happy Hell Night
Happy Hell Night really aims to please. It has a decent set up, a barrel full of nasty kills, a killer who looks genuinely creepy, and a young Sam Rockwell. How can it get it so wrong?
In order to please their pledge master, two fraternity pledges break into a mental asylum (the security must be incredibly lax) to see a crazed killer who murdered some frat boys many years ago. They see him alright, but he sees them, too, and breaks out, causing all sorts of deadly mayhem during a hell night party.
The killer is damn near terrifying when simply glimpsed briefly, but the filmmakers have decided to give him incredibly unfunny one liners to keep up with Kruegers and they simply don't work. This might be the film's biggest issue, but there also aren't a lot of memorable characters. There's a semi-interesting subplot about two brothers falling for the same girl, but not much is made of it, so all we're left to do is twiddle our thumbs until the next murder set piece comes up.
If you're still wanting to celebrate Hell Night with a scare, I'd recommend the Linda Blair vehicle Hell Night to get your fix.
Deliria (1987)
Excellent Italian Slasher
The Italians are known more for their giallo films than straight up slashers, but Stage Fright proves that they're equally adept at both.
The story might not be anything to write home about, but Stage Fright is dripping with style, mood, and atmosphere. There's something very unnerving about the owl mask the killer wears in this and the death scenes are nasty and well shot. Simon Boswell's haunting score helps things a good deal as well.
Slasher fanatics will love it!
The Slayer (1982)
Mature and Thoughtful Horror Film
I'm assuming The Slayer didn't make many waves up first release, because I hadn't heard of it until Arrow decided to put it out a few years ago and it's taken me this long to finally watch it. I didn't know what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised by its mature cast , striking mood, and gory kills. It's a bit slow and takes its time to build up some dread first, which I loved. You rarely get to see that in movies these days, so I'm all for it.
When the kills finally do start, they're shockingly gruesome including one painful looking decapitation and a grisly pitchforking (which made me wonder "how they hell did they do that?"). The film ends with a pretty bad cliche, but even that didn't bug me, because it put its own spin on that which managed to leave the movie with a sense of dread.
The acting probably won't get any big awards, but everyone's pretty good and effects work is pretty excellent. The titular slayer shows up at the end and looks pretty creepy, too.
I'd say give it a shot if you enjoy a good old fashioned slow burn chiller.
Pet Sematary (2019)
Unimaginative King Adaptation
One can't say much about this new Pet Sematary without spoiling a fairly major twist midway through (even though it was already spoiled in the promotional materials), but this twist does breathe some new life into this adaptation for a few minutes before turning into another series of killer kid movie cliches.
Before this twist, it's an unremarkable, by the numbers retelling of the now classic Stephen King story. Amy Seimetz is quite good as Rachel, but Jason Clarke is cold and bloodless as Louis. Since Louis is our main source of audience identification, this ends up being a major misstep and hurts the film a good deal. Not once are we ever really on his side. From the get go, he seems terribly dour, serious, and not much fun to be around. John Lithgow has always been one of my favorite actors, but he's given very little to do as Judd and that's a shame. Maybe he could have brought some life into this.
Once the big twists shows up (which deviates from King's novel and the original film), you might find yourself sort of excited and on edge for the first time since the film started, but they don't do much with it and the last act is hilariously ridiculous with an infuriating ending.
If you're really curious, wait for cable.
Les lèvres rouges (1971)
Gorgeous Arthouse Meets Grindhouse Vamp Flick
Daughters of Darkness is a hard film to classify, because it's hard to tell if it's meant to be an above average grindhouse flick, a serious arthouse film, or a cheeky parody of both. Given the luscious Delphine Seyrig's performance, I'm going to say it's meant to be a bit more cheeky. Seyrig appears to be having a ball playing the wicked vampire Elizabeth Bathory.
Seyrig's performance dominates the entire film with her playful Countess Bathory. that everyone else might as well play dead when she's on screen. Still, this is a well made, moody vampire film with a whip smart screenplay.
Definitely recommended for vampire movie fans.
Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
Basic Instinct 2: Risk Averse
Making a sequel to Basic Instinct isn't the worst idea in the world. Catherine Trammell remains an exciting and fascinating heroine and I'm sure a lot of people would like that have seen what she was up to these days. Their biggest mistake was toning down the sexuality.
The original Basic Instinct is still, to this day, one of the sexiest and most controversial mainstream films of all time. The fact that a film that sexually frank (and also violent) played in suburban theaters to middle brow audiences is a bit of a miracle. Why did Basic Instinct 2 feel the need to tone that down and become respectable.
Basic Instinct 2 isn't that bad. It's competently made with good actors and well lit/shot. If this were a made for TV rip off of the original film, people would probably love it, but it's not and that's the main issue - it refuses to take risks like the original did. Where the original film was sexually explicit and shockingly violent at times, this sequel takes a much more subdued approach. Sure, it could still be considered shocking to an audience of nuns or schoolchildren, but it's nowhere near as daring as the original.
It's still nice to see for Sharon Stone, who looks gorgeous (in spite of some unfortunate bangs).