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Brujería (2023)
Sorcery
A family of German settlers in Chile engage the services of the young "Rosa" (Valentina Véliz Caileo) to keep their home for them until one morning, they discover that all of their sheep have died. With a rope loosely tied about each one's neck, "Stefan" (Sebastian Hülk) immediately concludes that this is the work of the indigenous population and starts to take it out on the girl. Her father intervenes only for the farmer to set his dogs on the man. Now rather brutally orphaned, she leaves to seek justice from the mayor (Daniel Muñoz). He proves worse than useless, but the priest suggest she try to find a roof with "Mateo" (Daniel Antivilo). It turns out that he is a decent man, surviving on subsistence fishing and well versed in the more mystic arts of their traditions. "Rosa" wants to avenge her father's murder and now, more and more absorbed into the "Brujería", events in their small village causes consternation for her previous employers as their two sons go missing - just as two young, and fairly docile, cubs arrive! What now ensues sees the Christian community react with a combination of fear and militarism, but will that be sufficient to combat the power of the sorcery that is clearly at work demanding restoration of the equilibrium with both nature and amongst the divided and bigoted people. It's quite slowly paced, and it might have been filmed in the wettest place on the continent, but that works quite well to illustrate the timelessness of a way of life that thrived before the colonists arrived. The symbiotic relationship between people and nature and faith is quite potently, yet delicately, demonstrated by some charming acting and the design of the production looks good and earthy too. It's not your traditional style of horror film - indeed it doesn't really fit into that genre at all, but it's still quite an eerie and creepy exercise in leaving the forces of nature in peace and doing unto others...
Freud's Last Session (2023)
Freud's Last Session
Though there is no evidence that this meeting ever actually happened, it does make for quite an intriguing premise. Renowned, but ailing, psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud (Sir Anthony Hopkins) invites Oxford University professor C. S. "Jack" Lewis (Matthew Goode) for a conversation. The latter man is late which irks his host, especially when his daughter Anna (Liv Lisa Fries) has to leave him to go to work and he is running out of the medicine (morphine) that he uses to control the pain from his advancing mouth cancer. Initially slated for the shortest of chats, the two men - who take completely opposing views on the subject of God's existence - start to bond a little. Their conversation is conducted behind a veneer of politeness, but at times is quite intellectually brutal. It's these few scenes that set the thing on fire, and the quick-wittedness of both men does raise a smile, and a thought or two too. Thing is, there just aren't enough of them to sustain what is otherwise a rather messily conceived drama that sort of meanders along with too many hmphs and shrugs, the obligatory series of laughs from Sir Anthony and a disappointing paucity of actual rigorous debate. Way too much time is languished on his daughter's relationship with Dorothy Burlingham (Jodi Balfour) - and of her father's disapproval of it, and though flashback's of Lewis's Great War trauma do add context, it's all rather underused in explaining just why this erstwhile atheist became a convert of some fervency. It's all nicely staged - but maybe that's where it ought to be seen. A three act play using a few well decorated rooms and some rainy sound effects. The two men work well together on screen, but it's still too much of a missed opportunity for us to wallow a bit more in the complex and sometimes quite humorous views of these two sophisticated intellectuals - and that's a shame.
Unsung Hero (2024)
Unsung Hero
The Smallbone family live a comfortable life, paid for by the music promotional skills of dad David (Joel Smallbone - real life son) but when a tour he backs to the hilt goes a bit wonky, they find themselves broke. Nobody in Australia will employ him, so he heads to Nashville on the promise of a new opportunity. This is where I was glad he wasn't promoting me. He sells up, then drags his wife (Daisy Betts) and family of six children (with another on the way) all that way only for it to fall through at the last minute. He causes all this upheaval and uncertainty for his family without making sure he had a contract before he left? Hmmm - maybe he won't be troubling the brains trust? Anyway, reduced to sleeping on the floor of their rented home and eking out a living doing odd jobs, gardening and cleaning the toilets for their fairly wealthy neighbours, they manage to get by - until Christmas looms. The kids have expectations and the parents are skint. A chance meeting with one of their new friends (Candace Cameron Bure) in a supermarket might provide a solution to that, indeed to a great many of their problems - but he has pride, and that now proves to be quite an obstacle not just for him, but to the potential career of his daughter Rebecca (Kirrilee Berger) who can hold a tune but can find no way of exploiting it - despite the obvious options on their doorstep. Underpinned by their profound Christian faith, they have no lack of optimism but they just need the lucky break! It's a biopic of sorts so no jeopardy, just a journey - and one that I found pretty unremarkable. The wooden as a washboard Lucas Black - sporting way, way, too much beard - makes the occasional appearance as their wealthy, song-writing, friend but the rest of the acting is pretty mediocre as the drama takes a rather traditionally daytime and sentimentally charged approach to family drama tinged with religion and luck (good or bad). Quite what it's doing in a cinema is anyone's guess - I saw it by myself, and after about twenty minutes, I felt it belonged on the television, with lots of soft focus and rousing strings.
Wilding (2023)
Wilding
There's something quite fascinating about the recuperative ability of the land to recover from centuries of man's abuse displayed in this documentary. Isabella Tree and husband Charlie have inherited a country estate that can barely manage to grow weeds. The soil is knackered and desperate action is required. They hit on the fairly radical idea of abandoning the place to nature (except their front lawn!) and the film now follows the reclamation of this space by birds, bugs, deer, pigs, cattle - creatures that would have roamed the land freely a few hundred years ago. They even bring in storks! It's a stunning piece of photography to look at, but the underlying narrative is really quite weak and I found it allowed sentiment to overrule the one thing it fails to address - scalability. They live in a castle with no evident money worries. None that we are told about, anyway. So this looks like a worthy pet project that though laudable and impressive will, as one of their neighbours raises at a meeting, not feed the nation. When the vast majority of these complementary farming techniques were in use, the population of the UK was probably less than 10% of what it is now; malnutrition and starvation were rife and distribution methods, without refrigeration, left the food supply subject to the vagaries of the weather. What this doesn't address in any way is just how this method of nurturing the land is going to provide for an hungry population. It's largely presented by Isabella Tree herself, and she is an engaging individual but one who presents the most complex of arguments in far too simple a fashion - as if it were a lecture on the relative merits of organic methods without addressing in any way their limitations of their practicalities or economics. "Duncan" the horse and a few of the pigs have some great fun at a charity polo match and it is a very watchable film - but a little too light and fluffy.
Elizabeth R (1992)
Elizabeth R
Made for the BBC as Queen Elizabeth II celebrated the fortieth anniversary of her reign in 1992, Edward Mirzoeff takes a camera crew to follow the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh as events in their year unfold. There are the grand scale ceremonial events, diplomatic functions and some more intimate familial occasions all narrated informatively and sympathetically by Ian Holm. It is an officially sanctioned product, so we see nothing here untoward - but given the nature of the subject and purpose of the documentary in the first place, that's hardly surprising. What we have here is a highly polished chronology of a year in the life of a lady who clearly has spirit and enthusiasm for her roles in the UK and elsewhere, as well as a passion for her horses and a sense of mischief and love of family. The narrative doesn't dwell on negatives, it's a positive affirmation of a woman dedicated to her responsibilities, is well put together and nicely scored by Rachel Portman. Yes, republicans will probably hate it - but that's maybe the problem they have. Despite the obvious anachronisms of monarchy and inherited power, when the incumbent commands respect and delivers integrity like this, it makes for a very hard target to politicise - and what's clear here is the Queen knows exactly what path to tread - especially with Margaret Thatcher, but also with a plethora of other global figures who have no need of her favour nor company but courted it nonetheless - regardless of their own political beliefs. A lesson in statesmanship, sanitised and rose-tinted, but still effective.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
The Day the Earth Stood Still
This is probably Michael Rennie's best cinema role here as he lands his spaceship in the middle of Washington DC. Of course, the Americans panic and surround the thing with tanks and machine guns, and when he emerges looking as human as the rest of us, only clad in a silver suit, they go and shoot him! Luckily, "Klaatu" isn't a man to bear a grudge and from his hospital bed informs the powers that be that he wants a conference with world leaders. This will be a tough ask say the politicians, so he absconds from the hospital and takes up residence in the home of "Helen" (Patricia Neal) and her young son "Bobby" (an enthusiastic Billy Gray). He proves to be a bit of an enigmatic character, but he gets on with the lad and is soon using him to track down eminent scientist "Barnhardt" (Sam Jaffe) in the hope that he can convene some brains. Talk about hoping in vain? Meantime, outside his spaceship is the robot "Gort" - an enormous metallic creation that wields immense power from it's laser eye. Can "Klaatu" manage to convince mankind to listen to his message before the robot takes matters into it's own hands? This is a film that invites humanity to take a good look at itself, at it's priorities, faiths and attitudes and it's somehow fitting that - as the cold war was starting to bubble nicely - it demonstrates an element of the futility in our constant search for military superiority when others elsewhere in the universe might take a dim view of our militarism and short-sightedness. Might there be hope? Well, as the bard said - "Klaatu barada nikto".
Forbidden Planet (1956)
Forbidden Planet
"Dr. Morbius" (Walter Pidgeon) and his daughter "Altaira" (Anne Francis) are getting along fine on their planet of "Altair 4" when they receive a radio signal from an incoming ship. Despite being given the cold shoulder, they land and are soon enquiring as to where the remainder of the expedition went. He informs the captain "Adams" (Leslie Nielsen) and the doctor "Ostrow" (Warren Stevens) that they all died mysteriously, including his own wife, but that things were all settled now. The visitors are far from satisfied, and with a few of them vying for the affections of the young woman completely unused to male attentions aside from her father's, the dynamic on the outwardly peaceful planet starts to change. Could the thing that killed the explorers be coming back for more? With "Adams" suspicious, "Morbius" shows them some amazing feats of scientific endeavour deep inside the planet, but in doing so demonstrates just what is going on... Can they stop it in time? Can they even identify it? Pidgeon always did these more cerebral parts well, and stands head and shoulders about the humans here - though there's some fun to be had from Earl Holliman's cook. It's not the humans who steal the show, though. It's the cracking laser-cannons, turbo-charged jeep and the amazing "Robbie the Robot" who manages to protect his charges whist distilling gallons of bourbon. Just what did bring down this once mighty civilisation? This is sci-fi at it's best.
Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (1956)
Earth vs. the Flying Saucers
This is another enjoyable little 1950s sci-fi movie with scientist Hugh Marlowe ("Dr. Marvin") and Joan Taylor, his wife "Carol", having to use all their wits guile to save the planet from an alien race who want to invade the Earth and enslave us all. Despite their vastly superior technology our resourceful team work frantically to come up with a very effectively portable, if almost as destructive, solution. The visual effects are quite remarkable for the time, with some input from Ray Harryhausen, and the action is well shot and paced. The end is never in doubt (we are all still here!) but it's a fun ride for eighty minutes of ray guns and competent acting.
The Long Ships (1964)
The Long Ships
Sidney Poitier just about carries his role off, as a Moorish prince obsessed with a mythical great golden bell ("The Mother of All Voices") - reputedly made by monks many years ago. The rest of the cast, however, are fish out of water - Richard Widmark and Russ Tamblyn are not at all plausible as Viking raiders/explorers and the ebbs and flows of the storyline and the pretty verbose dialogue stretch the imagination well beyond the point when it stops being fun and starts being dull. Oskar Homolka gets up to some mischief as the only potentially realistic Viking "Krok" but then Lionel Jeffries and Gordon Jackson show up and it is laughable again. The film does have a good, lavish, look about it and the attention to detail (costumes etc.) are suitably sumptuous but it is way too long and wastes a good adventure story.
The Vikings (1958)
The Vikings
This is one of these films that I can watch time and time again - it is Hollywood at it's best. Historical shmorical, that doesn't matter - it is a quickly paced action adventure with a strong cast delivering an enjoyable to watch drama. It all starts when some marauding Vikings deprive the English of their King. That leaves their kingdom in the hands of the malevolent King "Aella" (Frank Thring) who cottons on quite quickly that he has traitor in his midst - and that'd be "Egbert" (James Donald) who manages to flee to King "Ragnar" (Ernest Borgnine) and his handsome son "Einar" (Kirk Douglas) for who he promises to draw maps facilitating further raids on the terrified English. It is whilst showing off his hawking skills to their new guest that Douglas encounters the slave "Eric" (Tony Curtis) and after a tussle involving who's got the best bird - he becomes "one-Einar" and but for a timely intervention from Odin, that could have been the end for the young slave... Meantime, the maps have provided their first harvest - the Princess "Morgana" (Janet Leigh) who is betrothed to "Aella" and so is a valuable hostage. Curtis manages to escape with the young woman and her feisty handmaiden "Bridget" (Dandy Nichols) only to be pursued through the treacherous fog by the Norsemen... It's got just about everything. A great cast with plenty going on, a soupçon of lively romance, plenty of rumbustious activity - some poor girl with her head in a wheel having axes lobbed at her head, oh - and don't wear your bodice too tight. The ending is a bit daft, but there is chemistry a-plenty between the stars, Borgnine is having great fun and if you like your movies full to the brim of well photographed escapades with one of the best castle sieges I've seen, then this is for you... It's not cerebral, the writing won't win any prizes - it is just entertaining.
The Black Shield of Falworth (1954)
The Black Shield of Falworth
Torin Thatcher steals this for me as the eye-patch wearing "Sir James" the curmudgeonly Knight who is tasked by the Earl of Mackwith (Herbert Marshall) to turn country bumpkin Tony Curtis ("Myles") into a chivalric squire. Soon, though, it transpires that they are all at the heart of a plot to kill King Henry IV - a scheme led by the evil "Earl of Alban" (David Farrar). Janet Leigh is the feisty daughter of "Mackwith" and when they discover that Curtis is really a dispossessed Knight - his late father having been denounced by the evil Farrar - the battle lines are drawn. Dan O'Herlihy turns in a decent performance as the wine-soaked Prince Hal and there is plenty of swash and buckle to keep us going for an hour and a half, or so, in this colourful historical adventure.
Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves (1943)
Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves
This bright and colourful cannibalisation of several "Arabian Nights" style stories sees Jon Hall play the prince robbed of his birthright by the evil Mongol Khan and his uncle "Prince Cassim", who has fallen in with the 40 Thieves since childhood and is bent on avenging this treachery. Maria Montez provides the glamour (and an accent you could cut with a knife) as the feisty, independently-minded Princess as we embark on some fun adventures. Andy Devine is dreadful as "Abdullah" but Kurt Katch hams up nicely and entertainingly as "The Khan". The film looks great and some of the swashbuckling sword fights well staged, but the acting is wooden, the script more so and the score intrusive (almost as if it were written for a silent film). It's a decent filler performance, but not amongst the best of the genre.
Arabian Nights (1942)
Arabian Nights
The Caliph of Baghdad tries to flee the invading hordes with his young son - but at the point of escape is betrayed by his ambitious brother and killed. The boy (Sabu) however, manages to escape and ends up with a troupe of travelling performers including the beautiful "Sherazade" (Maria Montez) and sets about reclaiming what is rightfully his. It's a bit of a hybrid of many Arabian Nights style stories this one, Aladdin and Sinbad feature at various stages, but has lots of sword fights, plenty of lavish costumes and sets, and flows well enough towards a fairly predictable ending - even if Montez sounds much more masculine that almost anyone else in this film. Not much by way intelligent dialogue, but still enjoyable enough to share (?) a box of Turkish delight over...
The Master of Ballantrae (1953)
The Master of Ballantrae
Errol Flynn leads the way with an excellent Roger Livesey in this rather lively adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson's swashbuckling tale of Scotland immediately after the failed Jacobite rebellion, As was common during many civil wars; the landed gentry hedged their bets by having a foot in each camp, In this one Flynn picks the losing side and ends up having to be secreted away, join some pirates and have quite a few adventures before returning back to Durisdeer to reclaim his inheritance and settle some scores with the women in his life. It's an enjoyable, colourful historical adventure. Nothing too taxing.
The Black Swan (1942)
The Black Swan
Tyrone Power and Maureen O'Hara are on good form for this 17th century pirate tale. When Sir Henry Morgan (Laird Cregar) is appointed Governor of Jamaica by the king, he is charged with bringing order to the lawless seas of the Caribbean. United with his friend "Capt. Jamie" (Power) he takes over from George Zucco's "Lord Denby", who just happens to have a rather feisty daughter "Margaret" (O'Hara). Pretty quickly the dashing "Jamie" is a bit smitten with her and the two develop a sort of can't stand to be with/without you sort of rapport! Meantime, sceptical fellow captain "Leech" (a slightly out of shape George Sanders) is having none of this new world order, and working in cahoots with a well placed spy is hoovering up the loot from some prize merchant ships. Facing impeachment in Kingston, it falls to Morgan and his loved-up sidekick to impose law and order. It's quite an enjoyable swashbuckling adventure, this. There are some good character parts for Zucco, Cregan and the always reliable Thomas Mitchell ("Billy Blue") with plenty of sword play and the romance between the two stars is entertaining rather than sentimental. Nobody's best work, but still a perfectly watchable 90 minutes of colourful and entertaining action on the high seas.
Treasure Island (1934)
Treasure Island
An engaging effort from Jackie Cooper as the fledgling "Jim Hawkins" works well here with a charismatic one from Wallace Beery as the duplicitous "Long John Silver" as Victor Fleming takes us on an exciting adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson's seafaring adventure. It's "Jim" who finds himself embroiled in some piratical vengeance at his mother's tavern when "Billy Bones" (Lionel Barrymore) leaves him a map to an enormous fortune hidden on a desert island. Lucky to escape with his life, he enlists the help of the doctor (Otto Kruger) and the blabbermouth squire (Nigel Bruce) to employ "Capt. Smollett" (Lewis Stone) and off they sail. Of course, the crew of the ship have not been selected by the captain, but by the one-legged "Silver" who served with the original owner of the loot and who, with his ruthless pals, intends on reclaiming it once they get to the island. Can young "Jim" and his friends stay alive long enough to fetch the treasure and thwart the dastardly "Silver"? This is one of my favourite childhood stories, and Beery puts his heart and soul into it. The supporting cast - including the bumbling Bruce, the menacing Charles McNaughton's "Black Dog", but most especially Chic Sale as the mad as cheese "Ben Gunn" all pull together well building to a denouement of just a little enjoyable mischief. Swash, buckle and some seriously dangerous plum-duff on the high seas! What's not to like?
Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959)
Journey to the Center of the Earth
James Mason is super in this adaptation of the Jules Verne story about a Scottish scientist ("Lindenbrook") and his rather motley team who set off in search of a long-lost Icelandic vulcanologist deep in the bowels of the Earth. I've been watching this film for thirty odd years now, and it is still a good, entertaining version of a strong fantasy story. Thayer David is good as the evil "Count Saknussemm" and there is even a duck to keep things in proportion as they combat each other and all sorts of prehistoric beasties on their journey. It's a wonderfully colourful and gently comedic treasure hunt...
Around the World in Eighty Days (1956)
Around the World in Eighty Days
I so wanted to like this film. An unsurpassable cast delivering a story depicting the ultimate in compendium storytelling. What could go wrong? Well, sadly - quite a lot. David Niven is fine as the dapper sophisticate "Fogg" who along with his gentleman's gentleman of one whole day "Passepartout" (the acrobatic Cantinflas) accepts a bet from some toffs in the Reform Club that he cannot circumnavigate the world in 80 days. Steam trains, balloons, ships, camels, horses, even a paddle-steamer facilitate their travels with just about every movie star on the books joining in as our tour of the world offers us colourful and entertaining escapades from many different countries and cultures. There is a sort of chemistry between the two travellers, but they are all to often apart on screen, and sadly I thought, it is the very diversity of the stories that lets this down. It is too episodic: the narrative frequently lacks cohesion, often little better than a colourful, occasionally pithy, travelogue and even the mischievous contributions from a super Robert Newton ("Insp. Fix") who reckons "Fogg" is really an infamous bank robber, and the delightful antics of Shirley MacLaine as the "Princess Aouda" can't really redeem or sustain it. It is long, but that needn't have been a problem (at least it isn't 80 days) it's just flat, somehow - so much more could have been going on, but wasn't. To be fair, it does hot up in the last twenty minutes or so, as their quest comes to a head but that isn't enough. The technical aspects are flawless, however - particularly the photography; with the costumiers facing a sartorial Herculean task and Victor Young's score is suitably international in it's themes and well worthy of his Oscar. Maybe it just had too much time and too much money but somehow it's all a wee bit disappointing.
My Fair Lady (1964)
My Fair Lady
A recent survey asserted that the English had the sexiest accents in the world. Perhaps not exactly the sort of recognition "Prof. Henry Higgins" (Rex Harrison) was seeking when, exasperated by the standards of his native language being spoken around London, he plucks poor "Eliza" (Audrey Hepburn") from her flower-selling and promises his equally plummy friend "Col. Pickering" (Wilfred Hyde-White) that he can train her to pass in more refined society as a Duchess. Despite her initially raucous protestations - exemplifying his very point, the two lock in a battle of wills that ultimately challenges both of their opinions of each other, and dare we even suspect - engenders perhaps some respect... or more...? Oscar, BAFTA & Golden Globe winning Harrison is superb as the jovially pompous professor whose disdain for just about everything and everyone is writ large, Hepburn (with a lot of musical assistance from Marni Nixon) manages the transformation from "gutter snipe" to "toff" magnificently and there are some wonderfully characterful contributions from Stanley Holloway as her (rather venal) father; from Gladys Cooper as his rather astute mother and of course the arbiter of all things elocutionary - "Prof. Karpathy" (Theodore Bikel) who famously concludes that our poor "Eliza" is Hungarian! George Cukor has worked his magic well here with a superbly colourful, pithy and engaging adaptation of the original Shaw story and the score from Lerner and Loewe offers us some of the best rhyming lyrics ever put on paper: "Why Can't The English" and "I could have Danced All Night" being two particular favourites as well as Holloway's cracking "I'm Getting Married in the Morning". In a time of much more in-your-face politically correct dramatisations, I think folks could take a look at this cleverly constructed swipe at intellectual and sexual "superiority" and see the best man win - even if she isn't a man...
A Woman's Secret (1949)
A Woman's Secret
When a gunshot brings the maid rushing into the bedroom, she discovers "Susan" (Gloria Grahame) is the victim, and that her mentor "Marian" (Maureen O'Hara) is holding the smoking gun. When the police arrive, "Marian" confesses to trying to kill her, but with her victim still alive we will have to wait to hear her version of events. Meantime, her manager "Jordan" (Melvyn Douglas) doesn't understand why "Marian" would want to injure her talented young protégée, indeed - neither can policeman "Fowler" (Jay C. Flippen). The two are investigating but just going around in circles until "Mrs. Fowler" (Mary Philips) takes an hand in helping her husband to get to the bottom of the mystery. Though she really only appears towards the end, it's Philips who steals the show piecing together what few clues there are, but sadly that's not really enough to steer this from mediocrity - despite it's starring credentials. Graham spends most of it under bandages, O'Hara in the clink and whilst Douglas does his debonaire best it all just rather peters out to a conclusion that doesn't really matter. The title does way more to generate a sense of intrigue and peril than the drama itself, and though it's perfectly watchable, it's also perfectly forgettable.
Objects of Affection: A Woman of No Importance (1982)
A Woman of No Importance
I worked in the same organisation for about twenty five years, and there are so many of Alan Bennett's witty observations that rang true as Patricia Routledge rather expertly sums up the mundanity and habit that consists of so much our daily working lives. We would always rendezvous (admittedly in the bar, not the canteen) around half twelve for a lunch that rarely deviated from yesterday's conversation, tomorrow's plans and maybe a bit of the rubbishing of that person who always turned up and never bought a round! It's that very banality that Routledge captures as not only does she ably describe the routine, but includes the "we did laugh" style stage directions to give us just an extra few seconds to absorb what she'd said. Things take a bit of a turn for "Miss Schofield", though, and we shift scenes to a waiting room and thence to an hospital where surgery is looming and she can't have her much desired cup of tea. It's a "Woman..." but could just as easily be a man, discussing mortality in many of it's benign (and not so) guises and the fact that she is a single person adds a poignant vulnerability that is so often prevalent in the steadfastly stoic amongst us. There are a lot of eye movements and wry smiles here, shrugs and slight gestures - and it holds forty-five minutes remarkably compellingly. Check it out.
Boiling Point (2019)
Boiling Point
Twenty minutes of continuous drama showcasing the horror of working for a vodka-imbued perfectionist chef (Stephen Graham) who has to run an hectic kitchen of professionals (and lazy gits) whilst trying to keep his increasingly irritated front of house manager placated as she relays complaints from the hungry that it's all just taking too long to get their mallard from saucepan to sauce. It's nearly Christmas but any spirit of peace and goodwill has long been abandoned as the freneticism reaches it's not entirely unsurprising denouement. I thought the dialogue a little unnecessarily angry and confrontational at times, but director Philip Barantini let's Graham flow freely with this natural and quite unsettling look at what goes on behind the doors. Perhaps worth considering when we think to complain in a restaurant, next time?
Unicorns (2023)
Unicorns
"Luke" (Ben Hardy) stumbles upon a bar where the largely young and beautiful Asian clientele are enjoying a dazzling performance on stage from "Aysha" (Jason Patel). Despite the fact that he's only just got laid in a field, he's captivated by her and so when she comes to say hello after her routine, he is quite besotted. Thing is - well those Adam's Apples - they are a dead giveaway and "Luke" flees in polite terror, but terror nonetheless. This leaves "Aysha" with a problem, though, as her possessive pal "Faiz" (Sagar Radia) goes off in a strop leaving her without a lift to a lucrative gig in Birmingham. She was also a bit smitten by "Luke" so tracks him down to the garage he works in with his father, and offers him £200 to be her chauffeur. Reluctant, he remembers that he has promised is son "Jamie" (Taylor Sullivan) a trip to Disneyland, and that's not going to pay for itself. The journey isn't really that far, but when a few other drag queens cadge a lift, too - well, let's just say that "Luke" gets a look at a culture he's never experienced before. The plot itself is fairly predictable, not dissimilar to "Femme" from last year, but there's a fun degree of chemistry between Hardy and Patel that maybe a little too simplistically, but still entertainingly, both challenges and reinforces stereotypes. What's eminently clear is that "Ashiq" is an unhappy and unfulfilled man who comes alive when his alter ego takes over, but is there any future at all in a friendship quite so viscerally at odds. It's tightly cast, and works best when it's just the two lead actors engagingly messing about, getting to know and trust each other and, well... who knows? To be fair, it doesn't need a cinema screening but it is an amiable, occasionally bitchy, film and I quite enjoyed it.
The Watchers (2024)
The Watched
Now my Irish geography isn't brilliant, but even I know that to drive from Galway to Belfast takes about four hours and does not involve any forest tracks. Nevertheless, pet shop worker "Mina" (Dakota Fanning), who is still coming to terms with a not very recent tragedy, sets off with her rare yellow bird only for her car to break down in the middle of an ancient forest. With no phone reception, she decides to leave her car and taking the caged bird with her, proceeds to wander through the trees shouting help! Pointless? Well no, as it happens, because she luckily encounters "Madeline" (Olwen Fouéré) who lives in a large concrete bunker with "Daniel" (Oliver Finnegan) and "Ciara" (Georgina Campbell). It appears that they have all been stranded in the woods and take shelter after sunset from the "watchers". These are mysterious creatures who like to come and watch their guests, via a great big one-way mirror, for a while each night. "Mina" is determined to escape and with the help of "Daniel" reckons she has a plan, but this just irritates their captors to the point that their "coup" is no longer safe. Hey, but wait - there's a submarine hatch in the floor, and when they go down they discover a lot more about who their enemy are, what they want and just who built this equivalent of a nuclear fall out shelter under the trees. Can they use this information to escape the trap and make it to freedom? At times it is quite menacing with their dark and wooded surroundings adding a degree of malevolence to an antagonist that we never really see and whose Gaelic mythological provenance is disappointingly undercooked. It has a go at ending a few times, but then comes back to add a little more to signal what I thought was that there'll be a sequel along shortly, rather than finish the adventure completely. It's not terrible, and Fanning delivers adequately - as does the gorgeous yellow bird, but you'll never remember it.
Dalziel and Pascoe (1996)
Dalziel and Pascoe
There were twelve series of this British police drama made by the BBC between 1996 and 2007. These are feature length episodes that sees curmudgeonly Yorkshireman "Supt. Dalziel" (Warren Clark) teamed up with the enthusiastic young "Sgt. Pascoe" (Colin Buchanan) as they investigate a series of murders and similar crimes whilst getting used to each other's quite starkly different techniques and approaches to rules, regulations and policing. It's written using loads of engaging vernacular with "Dalziel" gradually having to get used to his new sidekick as well as his girlfriend/wife "Ellie" (Susannah Corbett) whilst introducing some regular team members - "Wieldy" (David Royale) and "Novello" (Jo-Anne Stockham) - all usually referred to by their nicknames. Guest stars usually feature and the plots move along entertainingly as the pair deliver some well written and characterised, if not very politically correct, and investigations that occasionally take a swipe at societal dysfunction. Towards the end of the run, though, it does start to focus a little too much on their respective relationship baggage and by the time the series concluded, the theme had become well and truly exhausted. The first five or six runs are well worth a watch if you like characterful detective yarns produced to an high standard with some quirky stories and the whole gamut of subjects covered.