Reviews

It seems Amazon movies seem to be getting filled with these dreadful homemade projects, with no warning about how bad they are. A review on here (very obviously left by the main actor/director in this travesty of a film) claims 'The film moved like a bullet and was over as quickly as it started'. That would only be the case if said bullet was taped to a dying sloth which in turn was stapled to a two-legged tortoise... with a limp.

The same reviewer said there were times the film had them 'laughing out loud'. I found myself laughing out loud while I waited for what seemed like an eternity for something to happen, but it was more a laugh of exasperation, a twitchy, 'what am I doing with my life' laugh.

This laugh continued as I spent a week and a half watching the Professor sit on a train, a month passed by as I watched the Professor go for a walk. Young family members died of old age as I watched the Professor walk up the stairs.

I find it difficult to believe the budget of £7000 doesn't have about £6000 left to spend. The price of an iPhone and a free subscription to Capcut video editor can't have eaten into the budget too much.

I'm all for creativity, but this sort of amateur nonsense needs to be confined to Indie film festivals where viewers have a vague idea of what they're walking into. They should not be released onto unsuspecting members of the public who are just looking for something to watch on TV without at least some sort of warning.

Yep, it wasn't too bad at all. Kept me watching throughout without being distracted by something else. Always a good sign. A couple of issues I suppose (let's face it, most movies have them) but none too dreadful. A little like, how did the schools tannoy system work after all the power had been cut? How come nobody in the school heard a truck driving through the wall and huge amounts of gunfire?

Well, I watched it all the way through just to see if it got any better. It didn't. Still can't understand why wearing a mesh fencing mask somehow makes you sound like a cross between Darth Vader and Lord Humongous from Mad Max 2... As for the plot, it's dreadful. Having been told he has '37 minutes' to remove all the artwork from the house before they return, we then have to watch the worlds slowest burglary. Firstly he moves the body of the babysitter he'd battered to death. For what reason? The floor is still covered in blood, now with extra drag marks!

Then we have to watch as he sets out a full tool kit, making sure each tool is lined up perfectly. Then gets out ANOTHER tool roll, only to select a file from the first one. He could have kept that in his pocket... A file?... to cut a canvas from its frame? If this wasn't bad enough we have to watch him go through the same ridiculous charade for the next painting! No rush mate, you sort your tools out.

The daughter, Casey, finds the perfect hiding place in the attic where she sits and hides, and could have stayed there unseen all night. But no, for no reason at all, she decides to do a balancing act along the rafters, predictably falling through the ceiling.

None of it makes sense. Was the plan just a burglary? In which case why didn't they get in and out as quickly as possible, or was it revenge and the intention was to kill them all anyway. If that was the case, why the charade of 'stalling' the home owners return to give the burglars more time? The whole film was ridiculous, and quite frankly painful to watch.

If you removed the pointless tool bag scenes, and the endless scenes of burglars looking for the girl under beds and in cupboards, the film would have a runtime of about ten minutes.

I actually created an IMDB account because of this film. Actually, a lot of films, but this one pushed me over the edge. I rely on IMDB for movie suggestions, usually based on reviews. A synopsis of the film... Three guys sit in a car and panic about running out of battery power. Seriously. That's it. The 'big ending' as some so called reviews mention, is a light in the sky. Really. A light. Budget wise, I'm guessing it costs however much it costs to hire a car and park it in a wood for an hour or so. Oh, and a laptop. If you use your own car, a lot cheaper I would guess... A review compared it to Close Encounters... I nearly broke my computer spraying coffee over it when I read that. I repeat my synopsis.. 'It's three men sat in a car. In a wood. Talking. Oh, with a light at the end. Yes, a light' Little tip to anyone using a car to find aliens, if you're using laptops, or other equipment that requires batteries. Buy a power inverter, plug it into the cigarette lighter, turn the engine on and you then don't have to make dreadful movies like this.