Reviews

Netflix's "Secrets of the Neanderthals" isn't exactly breaking new ground in documentary filmmaking. The familiar troupe of talking heads and sweeping nature shots is present. Yet, there's a certain charm to this BBC Studios production, fueled by a genuine fascination with our extinct cousins.

The documentary hinges on a recent excavation at Shanidar Cave in the Kurdistan Region of Iraq. We follow a team of archaeologists, led by the enthusiastic Professor Graeme Barker, as they unearth a remarkably well-preserved Neanderthal skeleton - the first of its kind in the region for over 25 years. This discovery forms the narrative spine, allowing the exploration of Neanderthal life through the lens of this individual.

What elevates "Secrets of the Neanderthals" is its focus on debunking outdated stereotypes. Neanderthals are no longer depicted as knuckle-dragging brutes. The film effectively highlights their complex tool use, elaborate burial rituals, and potential capacity for symbolic thought. This revised image is bolstered by impressive CGI reconstructions that breathe life into these ancient humans.

However, the documentary falters slightly in its pacing. The Shanidar Cave excavation, while significant, can feel drawn-out at times. Additionally, some scientific explanations could have benefited from a touch more simplification for a broader audience.

Overall, "Secrets of the Neanderthals" is a solid and informative documentary. It serves as a timely reminder that our understanding of human prehistory is constantly evolving. While not a groundbreaking masterpiece, it's an engaging watch for anyone curious about our enigmatic ancestors.

"The Amityville Horror" suffers from a case of villain envy. The film sets the stage for a truly captivating antagonist - a malicious entity with an unshakeable will to inflict misery. Unfortunately, the horror on display here is more akin to a malevolent houseguest with perpetual indigestion than the demonic terror promised by the premise. Think Jack Nicholson in "The Shining" replaced by a grumpy ghost with a sensitive stomach.

The scares themselves are as predictable as a Long Island Iced Tea recipe: slamming doors, spectral whispers, and rooms that feel like they're perpetually stuck in a meat locker (though, to be fair, that wouldn't be out of place in a Chicago winter). James Brolin and Margot Kidder portray the Lutz family, who spend the entirety of the film's runtime screaming and cowering in response to the house's paranormal peccadillos. While their terror is certainly believable, it grows monotonous after the umpteenth door slams or disembodied groan.

The film is, of course, based on the supposedly true story of the Lutz family and their experiences in a haunted house on Long Island. Whether or not these events transpired exactly as depicted is irrelevant; "The Amityville Horror" fails to translate the narrative into anything remotely entertaining.

Two hours of watching a family react to a series of spooky occurrences simply isn't enough to hold our interest. The formless entity lacks the menacing presence to be a truly compelling villain, the stakes remain frustratingly unclear, and the scares are derivative at best. Ultimately, "The Amityville Horror" offers nothing that we haven't seen done better in countless other haunted house films. For a genuinely frightening cinematic experience, look elsewhere.

5.8/10.

"Escape Room" is a PG-13 horror flick that offers a mildly entertaining but forgettable series of escape room challenges. While the premise holds promise, the film relies on generic characters and predictable plot twists.

The story revolves around six strangers who find themselves trapped in a deadly escape room game. Each room presents a series of puzzles with fatal consequences for failure. The film borrows heavily from the "Saw" franchise, but lacks the over-the-top melodrama and intensity that made those films cult classics.

The characters themselves are underdeveloped and uninteresting. Their bland personalities and predictable backstories fail to elicit much empathy from the audience. The acting also fails to impress, with some performers coming across as loud and annoying.

The death trap set pieces, while inspired by themes like Tim Burton and hospital wards, are derivative and lack originality. The clues scattered around these rooms are equally dull, making the game feel uninspired.

Even the film's violence is toned down due to the PG-13 rating, making it less impactful compared to the "Saw" franchise. "Escape Room" had the potential to be a campy horror romp, but it fails to capitalize on its premise.

"Escape Room" is a mediocre horror film that offers derivative thrills and forgettable characters. If you're looking for a genuinely suspenseful or gory escape room experience, you'd be better off revisiting the "Saw" franchise. This film might hold some appeal for fans of very light horror, but overall, it's a miss.

"Turtles Can Fly" isn't your typical war film. Instead of grand battle scenes and political rhetoric, it dives deep into the lives of Kurdish refugees caught in the crossfire. If you want a movie that sheds light on the human cost of war, this is a must-watch.

Forget pre-conceived notions of a liberal diatribe. The film takes place before the American invasion, with characters yearning for Saddam Hussein's fall. The focus is on survival, not political agendas.

Set in a refugee camp on the Turkish-Iraqi border, the film follows a group of orphaned children, led by the enterprising Satellite (Soran Ebrahim). Their grim reality involves disarming landmines (considered "American" due to their value, not origin) to sell to arms dealers. The danger is ever-present, with a heartbreaking scene showcasing the "Boy With No Arms" (Hirsh Feyssal) disarming a mine with his lips.

Satellite develops a connection with Agrin (Avaz Latif), burdened by a past trauma of being raped by Iraqi soldiers. Her armless brother Hyenkov offers a poignant contrast, showering their young son Risa with love despite Agrin's lingering pain.

Life in the camp is harsh. They live in makeshift shelters, scavenge for money, and desperately crave news about the coming invasion. A humorous scene depicts the collective effort to assemble a makeshift antenna, just to catch a glimpse of CNN. The promise of liberation from Saddam fuels their hope.

"Turtles Can Fly" is a powerful film that doesn't shy away from depicting the brutal realities of war. It humanizes the conflict, reminding us of the innocent lives caught in the middle. While not entirely bleak, the film's strength lies in its unflinching portrayal of resilience in the face of unimaginable hardship.

8.175/10.

Don't expect your typical popcorn horror with "Train to Busan." This South Korean genre-bender from director Yeon Sang-ho injects fresh blood (pun intended) into the zombie apocalypse narrative, offering a thrilling ride brimming with social commentary and surprising emotional depth.

Fans of fast-paced zombie flicks like Danny Boyle's "28 Days Later" will find plenty to chomp on here. The film boasts relentless infected with a rabid hunger, masterfully shot chase sequences within the confines of the speeding train, and enough gore to satisfy even the most jaded horror aficionado. But Yeon Sang-ho goes beyond mere thrills.

Similar to George Romero's classic works, "Train to Busan" explores the societal breakdown during a crisis. It compels us to question what truly makes us human and the importance of compassion, even when surrounded by the living dead. The film masterfully weaves this social commentary into the narrative, offering a stark contrast between those willing to sacrifice for others and those consumed by self-preservation.

The film excels in its first hour. The set-up is brilliant, with a workaholic father and his young daughter embarking on a seemingly ordinary train trip that becomes a desperate fight for survival. The confined space of the train creates a claustrophobic tension that amplifies the terror. The characters, from the selfless heroes to the self-serving villains, are well-developed and engaging. There's even a subtle social commentary with the portrayal of a ruthless businessman reflecting a potential future for our protagonist.

Train to Busan isn't flawless. The middle section can feel a bit repetitive at times, with the constant struggle for survival against the infected offering diminishing returns. However, the film recovers nicely, delivering a memorable and suspenseful finale that ties the emotional core of the story together.

Train to Busan is a must-see for fans of the zombie genre. It's a thrilling ride with sharp social commentary, well-developed characters, and enough scares to keep you on the edge of your seat. Even if you're not a die-hard horror enthusiast, this film offers a refreshing take on the apocalypse, reminding us of the enduring power of human connection in the darkest of times.

7.675/10.

"The Divide," Xavier Gens' harrowing 2011 dive into post-apocalyptic despair, isn't your typical doomsday crowd-pleaser. It boasts a reputation as divisive as the fallout it depicts.

The premise is simple: eight survivors huddle in a makeshift shelter after a nuclear apocalypse. What follows is a brutal exploration of human devolution. Gone are the noble heroes and clear villains; this is a pressure cooker of escalating tensions and morally bankrupt choices.

The film's strength lies in its unflinching portrayal of human nature under duress. Forget comradery and cooperation. These characters, expertly (if unlikeably) embodied by the likes of Michael Biehn and an unnervingly charismatic Michael Eklund, devolve into a squabbling, self-serving mess. Their descent is agonizingly believable, thanks to the script's commitment to raw human nature over Hollywood heroism.

However, "The Divide" stumbles with narrative inconsistencies. Unexplained plotlines, like the shadowy figures in biohazard suits, and glaring logic gaps regarding the shelter's functionality, disrupt the film's flow.

The performances, however, are a saving grace. Biehn delivers a gruff, haunted performance as the shelter's owner, clinging to a shred of control. Eklund, meanwhile, steals the show as Bobby, a character whose descent into madness is both horrifying and strangely captivating. Even in a dress (yes, you read that right), Eklund maintains a chilling presence.

"The Divide" is a challenging watch. It's not for the faint of heart, reveling in the claustrophobic terror and the depths of human depravity. But for those seeking a character-driven descent into the abyss, devoid of easy answers or catharsis, Gens' film offers a bleakly compelling experience.

7.075/10.

Ti West's "X" cuts a fresh path through the familiar territory of the slasher film. Steeped in a lovingly recreated 1970s aesthetic, the film follows an adult film crew on a secluded shoot who find themselves stalked by a deranged elderly couple, Howard and Pearl. This 2022 horror film is a love letter to the golden age of the slasher, a period defined by practical effects, deliberate pacing, and a surprising amount of character development before the body count rises. While "X" wears its influences proudly, West injects his own style and wit, resulting in a film that feels fresh and thematically rich.

Set against the backdrop of the sun-drenched Texas countryside, "X" follows a ragtag crew of adult filmmakers on a secluded shoot. Their ambition - to capture a porno masterpiece - is both their driving force and their eventual downfall. The charismatic Maxine (played with a captivating duality by Mia Goth) leads the charge, determined to carve her name into the annals of adult cinema history. The rest of the cast is equally well-drawn, from the troubled young starlet Bobby-Lynne (Brittany Snow) to her weary boyfriend Jackson (Kid Cudi). West takes his time establishing these characters, allowing us to become invested in their dreams, desires, and ultimately, their struggle for survival.

As the crew delves deeper into their project, they become unknowingly observed by the film's true antagonists: Howard (Martin Henderson) and Pearl (also played by Goth in a transformative performance). This elderly couple, residing in the secluded farmhouse that serves as the film's setting, harbor a darkness that slowly reveals itself. Themes of aging, desire, and the fleeting nature of beauty bubble just beneath the surface, adding a layer of complexity to the standard slasher fare.

The film's slow-burn approach might test the patience of viewers accustomed to the frenetic energy of modern horror. However, West rewards those who stay the course with masterfully crafted suspense. The Texas sun becomes a character itself, casting long shadows that heighten our sense of unease. The camerawork, particularly the use of lingering 360-degree shots, is deliberate and effective, creating a palpable tension that explodes into gloriously gory violence in the film's latter half. Thankfully, West eschews CGI in favor of practical effects, a choice that adds to the film's retro charm and authenticity.

"X" isn't for everyone. The heavy use of nudity and graphic violence might alienate some viewers. Additionally, the film's deeper themes are more subtle and may not resonate with everyone seeking a straightforward gorefest.

But for those seeking a slasher with a bite, "X" delivers. It's a film that rewards repeat viewings, offering new layers to discover with each encounter. Fans of classic slashers like "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" will find much to love here, while those seeking a more thoughtful exploration of genre tropes will appreciate West's masterful execution. Consider watching it as a double feature with its prequel, "Pearl," released later in 2022, for an even deeper exploration of the characters and themes. Ultimately, "X" is a satisfying and stylish horror experience, proving that there's still plenty of life left in the slasher genre, especially in the capable hands of Ti West.

7.225/10.

Zach Cregger, of "Whitest Kids U' Know" fame, sheds his comedic skin for a directorial debut that burrows deep into the delightfully deranged underbelly of horror. "Barbarian" isn't for the faint of heart, but for those seeking a jolt of originality alongside their scares, this film is a twisted treat.

Cregger eschews the current trend of "elevated horror," gleefully wielding genre clichés like a rusty broadsword. We have the creaky Detroit house, the wide-eyed ingenue (Georgina Campbell, radiating determination as Tess), and the unsettling stranger sharing her rental (Bill Skarsgård, all nervous tics and simmering menace). But Cregger understands the power of these tropes, deploying them with a wink and a subversion that keeps you deliciously off-balance.

The narrative unfolds like a nesting doll of dread. Just as you think you've grasped the film's trajectory, it yanks the rug out, introducing Justin Long as a self-absorbed narcissist entangled with the same house. The shift in time and character could be jarring, but Cregger executes it with a demented glee that keeps you hooked.

Beneath the scares, "Barbarian" simmers with a dark intelligence. The racial dynamics between Tess and the film industry she navigates, the predatory nature of gentrification embodied by Long's character - these elements simmer just below the surface, enriching the film without ever becoming didactic.

Cregger's comedic roots peek through in moments of absurdist brilliance. There's a sequence involving Long and a tape measure that's pure, unadulterated genius, the kind of scene that prompts nervous laughter amidst the tension. The film leans even harder into its own lunacy in the final act, culminating in a climax that's more ludicrous than terrifying, a tonal shift some may find jarring.

"Barbarian" isn't perfect. The logic occasionally strains at the seams, and the aforementioned tonal shift might leave some viewers bewildered. But these are minor quibbles in the face of such a audacious and entertaining experience. Cregger has crafted a film that's both horrifying and hilarious, a genre-bending descent into the gloriously depraved.

8.05/10.

Godzilla 2000: Millennium suffers from an identity crisis. It desperately wants to recapture the magic of the old school Godzilla films, relying heavily on practical effects and a slower pace. While this might spark a warm flicker of nostalgia for some, the film fails to translate that charm to a modern audience.

The first act feels like an eternity. The plot, a confusing web of human characters and half-baked scientific jargon, takes forever to get to the point. Godzilla himself doesn't even grace us with his presence until well into the movie, and when he does, it's mostly lumbering about and leaving a trail of underwhelming destruction.

The special effects, while perhaps endearingly old school to some, are undeniably dated. The suitmation effects for Godzilla are decent, but clumsy attempts at CGI integration stand out as jarringly cheap.

There's a glimmer of potential here. The monster design for Godzilla is genuinely cool, and there's a certain comfort in the familiar tropes of the franchise. However, this "been there, done that" feeling combined with the plodding narrative and underwhelming visuals makes Godzilla 2000 a slog to get through.

This might be a decent recommendation for hardcore Godzilla fans with a serious case of nostalgia. Otherwise, this slow-moving monster mash is best left undisturbed.

One can't help but raise an eyebrow at the curious concoction that is The Mighty Kong. On paper, it boasts a pedigree ripe for cineastic fireworks: the legendary vocal talents of Dudley Moore tackling both the bombastic filmmaker Carl Denham and the mighty ape himself, and a score courtesy of the Sherman Brothers, the musical masterminds behind Mary Poppins. Anticipation soars.

But then the film flickers to life, and reality crashes down with the weight of a poorly animated steamship. The Mighty Kong suffers from a case of severe budgetary anemia. The animation is a far cry from Disney's polished perfection, with characters that jerk around the screen and faces that morph uncomfortably with every expression.

The narrative, too, is a predictable beast, a rote rehash of the classic King Kong tale with a Beauty and the Beast garnish thrown in for good measure. Thankfully, the damsel in distress avoids the typical demise this time around. There's even a shoehorned-in child sidekick, a desperate attempt to lure the younger set, that feels as unnecessary as a monocle on a clown.

Despite these shortcomings, The Mighty Kong isn't entirely without charm. The period setting offers a certain nostalgic appeal, and the sheer audacity of Moore's dual role (executed with varying degrees of success, it must be said) is undeniably intriguing. The Sherman Brothers' score, while not their strongest work, provides a few toe-tapping moments.

Ultimately, The Mighty Kong is a cinematic oddity - a lo-fi lullaby to a classic tale. It might hold some appeal for die-hard Kong enthusiasts or those with a penchant for delightfully strange films. But for most viewers, this ape will likely leave them scratching their heads and yearning for the mighty original.

Mia Goth explodes onto the screen as Pearl in this outrageous and shocking prequel to Ti West's "X." Goth, not only starring but also co-writing the film, elevates her performance to new heights, earning comparisons to a horror legend like Judy Garland.

"Pearl" is a terrifyingly accomplished film, weaving together golden-age movie homages with unsettling echoes of "Psycho" and "The Wizard of Oz." It's more than just a horror movie, though. West cleverly uses the genre to explore the anxieties of isolation and the way confinement can breed dysfunction and fear.

Set in 1918, the film follows Pearl, a young woman trapped on a family farm. She longs for the return of her soldier husband and dreams of escaping to the glamorous world of movies. The war is ending, but the Spanish Flu lingers, adding to the oppressive atmosphere. Pearl's frustration grows with each passing day, fueled by her overbearing German-born mother and her ailing father who requires constant care.

A forbidden encounter with the local projectionist (David Corenswet) exposes Pearl to the world beyond the farm and ignites a spark of rebellion. He shows her glimpses of a life she craves - both the exciting world of cinema and the brutal realities of war. This encounter pushes Pearl towards a breaking point.

Like "X," "Pearl" takes place primarily on a single location, but West masterfully creates tension with occasional trips into town where Pearl indulges in secret pleasures and forbidden desires. One particularly brilliant scene involves Pearl's sister-in-law attempting a cathartic exercise, leading to a shocking and unforgettable display of Pearl's inner turmoil.

"Pearl" is a disturbing, suspenseful, and darkly comedic film. It's a smart and brutally well-acted horror gem that will stay with you long after the credits roll. Don't miss this one.

8.95/10.

Jim Carrey's back in familiar territory with "Yes Man," a comedy that feels like a retread of his 1997 film "Liar Liar." This time, Carrey plays Carl, a loan officer who flips his life upside down after attending a motivational seminar that preaches the power of saying "yes" to everything.

The premise has potential, but the humor relies heavily on predictable situations. We can see Carl's fate from the beginning, whether it's dealing with his oddball neighbor or falling for his love interest, played by the always charming Zooey Deschanel. Carrey's signature physical comedy is on display, but it feels constrained by the yes-man gimmick. The movie becomes a string of wacky situations with little room for character development or genuine tension.

Despite the predictable plot, Carrey's charisma keeps the movie afloat. He injects energy into the film, and there are moments of genuine amusement, especially when he's allowed to be goofy and free-wheeling. Deschanel is also a delight as the love interest, and her beauty is undeniable.

However, "Yes Man" feels derivative and uninspired. It lacks the cleverness of "Liar Liar" and the outrageousness that Carrey can deliver at his best. If you're looking for a classic Jim Carrey comedy, you'd be better off revisiting some of his earlier works.

Overall, "Yes Man" is a forgettable comedy saved by Jim Carrey's performance and Zooey Deschanel's charm. The predictable plot and humor hold the film back, making it a passable choice for a light watch, but not a must-see.

6.15/10.

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" is a mind-bender that dives into the chaotic terrain of love, loss, and memory. Inspired by the Alexander Pope quote, "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!", the film explores a world where a scientific procedure allows people to erase unwanted memories. Charlie Kaufman's labyrinthine screenplay takes center stage, weaving a complex narrative around Joel (Jim Carrey) and Clementine (Kate Winslet), a couple with a tumultuous past. The film cleverly abandons a linear structure, opting instead to depict their relationship through fragmented memories. This "Maze Cinema" approach can be disorienting, but it effectively portrays the confusion and heartbreak that cloud Joel and Clementine as their memories are manipulated.

Carrey delivers a nuanced performance, toning down his usual comedic energy to portray a lonely man clinging to fading memories. Winslet matches him perfectly, embodying Clementine's impulsiveness and vulnerability. The supporting cast, including Tom Wilkinson, Mark Ruffalo, Elijah Wood, and Kirsten Dunst, adds another layer of intrigue with their quirky portrayals of the employees at Lacuna Inc., the memory-erasing company.

While the film's central concept is undeniably fascinating, it's the emotional core that resonates most deeply. Despite the unconventional narrative, "Eternal Sunshine" explores universal themes of love, loss, and the human desire for connection. Director Michel Gondry, known for his music video background, brings Kaufman's vision to life with a unique visual style that perfectly complements the film's surreal and dreamlike qualities.

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" is not for everyone. If you prefer straightforward narratives and easily digestible plots, this film's non-linear structure and offbeat humor might leave you frustrated. However, for those seeking a thought-provoking and emotionally resonant experience, this is a cinematic gem. The film lingers long after the credits roll, prompting reflection on the importance of memories, the complexities of love, and the resilience of the human spirit. It's a wild ride through the labyrinth of the mind, but one that ultimately celebrates the beauty and messiness of human connection.

6.575/10.

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" weaves a tapestry of tearful goodbyes, shocking deaths, and the bittersweet beauty of witnessing childhood friends blossom into adulthood. It's a deeply satisfying conclusion to the beloved film series, a decade after it first took flight with a young, orphaned Harry Potter.

The film prioritizes emotional resonance over elaborate Quidditch matches, a welcome shift from previous installments. As Harry, Hermione, and Ron confront the harsh realities of war, the actors portraying them deliver powerful performances that resonate with the fans who have grown alongside them.

Ralph Fiennes chills as the ever-menacing Lord Voldemort, while Alan Rickman elevates Severus Snape from antagonist to complex hero with a career-defining performance. The film doesn't shy away from loss and grief, portraying the emotional toll of war with sincerity.

While a few scenes feel designed to promote the wider Wizarding World franchise, momentarily distracting from the core narrative, these are minor quibbles. The heavy use of greyscale can also be visually monotonous at times.

However, these shortcomings are overshadowed by the film's strengths. The special effects are impressive, particularly the awe-inspiring albino dragon. "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" reminds us that blockbusters can be both entertaining and heartfelt. It's a fitting conclusion to the saga, highly recommended especially for fans of the series.

Alice Walker's iconic novel "The Color Purple" has been reimagined for the screen numerous times, from Steven Spielberg's acclaimed film to the powerful Broadway musical. Blitz Bazawule's 2023 adaptation takes the best aspects of these different forms, crafting a stunning hybrid that blends the raw emotions of the written word with the electrifying energy of live performance.

The film centers on Celie (played by Phylicia Pearl Mpasi as a young girl and Fantasia Barrino as an adult). We see Celie's idyllic childhood with her sister Nettie (Halle Bailey) shattered by abuse and separation. Sold into marriage with the cruel Mister (Colman Domingo), Celie endures a life of hardship, finding solace only in the hope of reuniting with Nettie and the distant support of Shug Avery (Taraji P. Henson), a flamboyant blues singer, and Sofia (Danielle Brooks), Mister's strong-willed daughter-in-law.

The film's greatest strength lies in its performances. Mpasi and Barrino deliver exceptional portrayals of Celie, capturing her quiet strength and simmering resentment. Mpasi, especially, is mesmerizing, her expressive eyes conveying a depth of emotion that transcends words. Their on-screen bond as sisters feels genuine, making their separation all the more heartbreaking. Barrino seamlessly steps in as the older Celie, showcasing the character's resilience while hinting at the emotional scars left by her past.

Brooks steals the show as Sofia. Her charismatic presence and emotional range are captivating. She embodies Sofia's fierce spirit and refusal to be silenced, demanding respect with every scene. However, Henson's portrayal of Shug falters. While Shug is meant to be a source of liberation for Celie, Henson's overacting clashes with the film's overall sincerity. Shug's larger-than-life persona, while intended for comic relief, feels out of place compared to the raw vulnerability of the other characters.

The film's pacing suffers at times, particularly during Shug's extended appearances. Bazawule also makes some selective editing choices, focusing on certain aspects of Celie's life over others. While this is inevitable when adapting a sprawling narrative, the film occasionally loses momentum due to these choices.

However, when the musical numbers hit, they hit hard. Songs like "Hell No" and "I'm Here" are powerful expressions of defiance and self-discovery, perfectly capturing the emotional core of the story. The American South itself becomes a character, brought to life with stunning visuals that complement the musical sequences.

"The Color Purple" is a powerful testament to the enduring strength of women, particularly Black women facing unimaginable hardship. It's a beautiful coming-of-age story that celebrates the importance of sisterhood and finding your voice. While a few missteps prevent it from achieving greatness, this latest adaptation remains a worthy addition to the film's legacy.

Godzilla vs. Biollante is a decent entry in the Godzilla franchise, particularly within the Heisei era. Surprisingly, for a sequel, it delves into the aftermath of a giant monster attack, exploring how the world grapples with Godzilla's existence. International corporations scramble for Godzilla cells, hoping to harness their power for their own gain. A fictional Middle Eastern nation, Saradia, seeks to weaponize these cells to create vegetation in their desert, while the American company Bio-Major resorts to terrorism to acquire them for a project to neutralize nuclear threats. Somehow, a giant rose monster emerges from all of this, only to be incinerated by Godzilla's atomic breath.

The plot is refreshingly complex, but the characters are forgettable. Their scenes feel disjointed, offering little backstory or development. Even the scientist who creates Biollante faces no consequences for his actions. The storytelling feels like watching an episode of a monster-of-the-week television show, where character arcs are secondary to the action. This episodic quality creates a strange listlessness, where characters change their minds on a whim and arguments have no weight. It's as if the narrative forgets about itself at times, with characters seemingly unaware of the giant monster battle happening nearby.

Despite its flaws, Godzilla vs. Biollante boasts some impressive visuals. The miniature effects, showcasing Godzilla amidst real-world locations, are well-done considering the film's reduced budget compared to its predecessor. The setting for the first Godzilla-Biollante fight is particularly striking, resembling an arena shrouded in fog with spotlights reaching towards the sky. There's a strange beauty to Godzilla movies, evident in the scene where Biollante explodes into glowing spores drifting towards the heavens.

It's almost a miracle these films work at all, considering their rapid production schedules and studio interference. Biollante even features a somewhat self-aware portrayal of humanity's anti-Godzilla strategies. The JSDF attempts to predict Godzilla's movements with the help of psychics and even hatches a plan to lure him into a zone rigged with lightning attacks. The military's monitoring of Godzilla's advance on transparent maps feels almost reminiscent of Evangelion. There's also a team of soldiers tasked with deploying bacteria engineered from Godzilla cells to consume radioactive material. One scene has a soldier firing a bio-warfare RPG from a destroyed office window - a bizarre but oddly captivating moment that injects the fantastic into the mundane. However, this soldier then inexplicably fails to escape the collapsing building, leaving his demise confusing and unearned.

Godzilla vs. Biollante is a film brimming with ideas - psychics, genetic engineering, corporate espionage - that never quite coalesce into a cohesive whole. The titular battle feels disconnected from the narrative, ultimately failing to deliver on the film's intended metaphor. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, however, as the original Godzilla metaphor itself is somewhat generic. Biollante offers a unique addition to the Godzilla bestiary - a monstrous rose, a mockery of its enemy with its otherworldly crocodile jaws. The film excels in depicting the chaos of a city preparing for a Godzilla attack, with construction vehicles working alongside tanks and soldiers. There's a sense of purpose in their actions, unlike the static defenses of previous films. Biollante is an improvement over its predecessor, but stumbles in its lack of a focused narrative. That being said, it's a film with Godzilla fighting a giant bio-engineered rose, and that's reason enough for most monster movie fans to enjoy it.

6.175/10.

Growing up can be tough, even for wizards. "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" casts a darker spell than its predecessors. Gone is the wide-eyed joy of discovery; Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) now carries the weight of a world on his shoulders. The Ministry refuses to acknowledge Voldemort's return, clinging to outdated ideas. At Hogwarts, the cruel Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) cracks down on magic and anything that smacks of individuality. Harry, with his ever-loyal friends Hermione (Emma Watson) and Ron (Rupert Grint) by his side, forms a secret resistance to fight back. These aren't the playful pranks of their youth; this is a fight for freedom with real consequences.

The series thrives on hidden connections and surprising reveals, but for longtime fans, some of the magic fades. The plot twists are a bit easier to predict this time around. However, Harry's journey takes a big step forward. He ventures beyond Hogwarts, soaring over London with his friends. This raises interesting questions. How do the magical and Muggle worlds truly interact? Can Harry become a leader on a global scale? Will spells be relevant in the face of real-world problems? J. K. Rowling leaves these mysteries dangling, promising answers in the final book.

Despite the darker tone, "Order of the Phoenix" is a well-crafted film. British productions are known for their quality, and this movie maintains that high standard. The special effects seamlessly blend with the real world, making the magic feel real. The cast is a treasure trove of British acting talent, with Staunton a chillingly perfect villain. Helena Bonham Carter cuts a striking figure as a combination of all three witches from Macbeth. Familiar faces like Robbie Coltrane, Ralph Fiennes (as the ever-looming Voldemort), Michael Gambon, and many more round out the impressive ensemble.

"Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" is a strong entry in the series, but it's a different kind of magic. The lighthearted wonder of the early films gives way to a more mature story with darker themes. While some of the whimsical charm is missing, the film is still enjoyable and sets the stage for even greater challenges to come. On a scale of spells, I'd give it a 7.9625 out of 10. It's a good movie, but fans expecting the carefree adventures of the first few films might be surprised by the shift in tone.

7.96/10.

The Return of Godzilla." Marketed as a return to the franchise's roots, promised a grittier Godzilla alongside Cold War tensions. What I got was a curious mix - a lumbering near-docudrama that felt closer to the original 1954 film, complete with vintage effects and a dash of cheese.

"The Return" acts as a direct sequel to the 1954 film, conveniently forgetting everything in between (alien invasions, time travel, you name it). This could have been a fascinating exploration of the lingering trauma from the original Godzilla's attack. However, the film fails to capitalize on this. We encounter characters who seem completely oblivious to Godzilla's past rampage, which stretches believability.

The attempt at political intrigue also falls flat. The Soviet and American representatives are caricatures, demanding Godzilla's nuclear annihilation. The Japanese Prime Minister's counter-arguments, while somewhat justified, lack depth. The whole debate feels like a missed opportunity for a thought-provoking exploration of Cold War anxieties.

Visually, the film is a mixed bag. The practical effects and miniatures hold up well, and the pyrotechnics are impressive. However, the human scenes lack visual flair, relying on static shots and uninspired framing. The pacing is equally uneven, with stretches of exposition punctuated by Godzilla's attacks.

Speaking of Godzilla, our atomic leviathan looks a bit...off. The half-lidded eyes and goofy demeanor don't inspire awe. His battles, while featuring the awesome maser tanks and the Super X, lack the dynamism seen in later films.

Ultimately, "The Return of Godzilla" is a film stuck between eras. It jettisons the camp of the Showa era in favor of a more serious tone, but fails to deliver a truly compelling narrative or characters. The nostalgia factor is undeniable, but the film itself feels hesitant and unsure of its own direction. It's a decent monster mash, but one unlikely to leave a lasting impression. The beautiful score, however, deserves mention.

5.15/10.

Leigh Whannell's "The Invisible Man" isn't a mere monster movie reboot; it's a chilling metamorphosis. It takes the familiar trope of invisibility and injects it with the raw terror of #MeToo-era anxieties, crafting a sophisticated sci-fi horror that lingers long after the credits roll.

The film's brilliance lies in its ability to make the unseen a constant, suffocating presence. Cecilia Kass (a phenomenal Elisabeth Moss) escapes her abusive ex-boyfriend Adrian (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) only to be stalked by him after his supposed suicide - with the added nightmare of him being invisible. Whannell doesn't shy away from the psychological torment Cecilia endures. The constant fear, the gaslighting, the violation - it's all palpable, a chilling reminder that emotional scars can be far more terrifying than physical ones.

The film cleverly builds on the existing "Invisible Man" lore. It's not a mindless remake, but a fresh take that respects the source material. Whannell's script injects the classic story with inventive ideas and stylish visuals reminiscent of films like "Zodiac" and "Terminator 2: Judgment Day." The camerawork, particularly by Stefan Duscio, deserves special mention. Sharp cuts and clever angles masterfully capture the unsettling emptiness left by the invisible Adrian, leaving the audience constantly on edge.

One of the film's most powerful elements is its unwavering support for Cecilia. Unlike the tired trope of the "crazy woman no one believes," Whannell keeps the audience firmly on her side. Even when others doubt her sanity, we see the raw desperation and terror in Moss's eyes, a testament to her exceptional performance. Her portrayal of Cecilia is both fierce and vulnerable, reminiscent of Sarah Connor's unwavering spirit in the face of relentless danger. The supporting cast, including Harriet Dyer, Aldis Hodge, and Storm Reid, all deliver strong performances that complement Moss's central role.

"The Invisible Man" isn't flawless. There are moments that push the boundaries of believability, and the plot occasionally relies on familiar thriller tropes. However, these weaknesses are outweighed by the film's strengths. The central mystery surrounding Adrian's invisibility and his motives keeps the audience engaged, and the scares are genuinely effective. The social commentary on gaslighting and the harrowing reality of emotional abuse feels both relevant and well-executed.

Ultimately, "The Invisible Man" is a deeply unsettling and thought-provoking film. It's more than just a horror movie; it's a haunting exploration of trauma, the monstrous potential that can lurk within seemingly ordinary people, and the fierce resilience of the human spirit. Elevated by a powerhouse performance from Elisabeth Moss and a chillingly original premise, "The Invisible Man" is a worthy addition to the genre, leaving a lasting impression long after the last invisible punch is thrown.

7.375/10.

As Albus Dumbledore intones with his usual gravitas midway through "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," "Dark and difficult times lie ahead." This installment finds Harry not only facing off against fire-breathing dragons and the ever-present threat of the Death Eaters, but also the potentially perilous task of asking a girl to the Yule Ball - a challenge that might be even more daunting for a fourteen-year-old wizard.

While Harry's survival is never really in doubt (thanks to the convenience of the books being already published), "Goblet of Fire" throws a gauntlet of trials at him that push him to his limits. The film sheds its lighter tone in favor of a darker, more suspenseful story. One can't help but wonder if the series, as Harry himself matures, might be inching its way towards a more mature rating.

Ralph Fiennes portrays a chillingly menacing Voldemort, whose return casts a long shadow over Hogwarts and the wizarding world. The Triwizard Tournament, introduced at the beginning of the film, provides a thrilling backdrop for the story. However, a mysterious turn of events forces Harry to compete despite being underage, adding another layer of danger to the already precarious situation.

The film expands the world of Harry Potter by introducing students from two prestigious magic schools outside of Hogwarts - the Beauxbatons Academy and Durmstrang Institute. Meanwhile, Harry grapples with the usual teenage angst, mustering the courage to ask Cho Chang to the Yule Ball, while his best friend Ron wrestles with his own jealousy over Hermione's date. These scenes evoke a sense of familiarity, reminiscent of classic John Hughes high school movies.

Most of the beloved characters from the previous films are back, with some memorable additions like the eccentric Mad-Eye Moody (Brendan Gleeson) and the snoopy gossip columnist Rita Skeeter (Miranda Richardson). The film also teases a vast magical world beyond Hogwarts, hinting at endless possibilities for future stories within the franchise.

"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" is a thrilling and suspenseful chapter in the series. Director Mike Newell skillfully balances moments of whimsy with the encroaching darkness, creating a film that will resonate with both die-hard Potter fans and newcomers to the magical world.

8.025/10.

In the crowded tapestry of prison escape films, "Le Trou" (1960) emerges as a distinct and captivating piece. Directed by the esteemed Jacques Becker, tragically his final work due to his passing during post-production, the film transcends the genre through its meticulous attention to detail and its unwavering commitment to portraying a true story with an almost documentary-like approach.

Becker, renowned for his craftsmanlike precision, broke away from conventional casting choices for "Le Trou." He purposefully cast a blend of seasoned actors and non-professionals, some of whom were directly involved in the real-life 1947 escape attempt the film depicts. This dedication to authenticity extended beyond the cast, with filming taking place within the very walls of Paris' La Sante prison - the very location where the daring escape unfolded decades prior.

The narrative delves into the meticulous planning and nail-biting execution of the escape attempt. We witness firsthand the meticulous crafting of tools from everyday objects, the careful exploitation of prison routines, and the ever-present threat of discovery that hangs over the characters like a lead weight. Becker masterfully employs a deliberate pacing that builds suspense with each passing moment. The camera lingers on the faces of the men, etching their determination and desperation onto the screen. The silence, punctuated only by the rhythmic tapping of tools or hushed whispers, further amplifies the tension, drawing the audience into the claustrophobic confines of their cell and the desperate yearning for freedom that consumes them.

However, it's important to acknowledge that "Le Trou" isn't without its potential shortcomings. The film's deliberate pacing, which undeniably contributes to the building tension, might not resonate with viewers seeking a fast-paced and action-packed escape story. Additionally, the focus on the meticulous planning stages may leave some wanting a deeper exploration of the characters' personal motivations and backstories. While the film does offer glimpses into the individual personalities through interactions and subtle dialogue, the focus remains predominantly on the mechanics of the escape itself.

In conclusion, "Le Trou" stands out as a compelling and suspenseful prison drama. Its commitment to authenticity, through both casting and filming locations, coupled with the strong performances and masterful pacing, creates a captivating cinematic experience. It offers a unique window into the intricate planning and execution of a real-life escape attempt, but viewers seeking a more emotionally charged and character-driven film might find its deliberate pace and lack of in-depth character exploration to be drawbacks. Ultimately, "Le Trou" remains a noteworthy addition to the genre, captivating audiences with its stark realism and the timeless human yearning for freedom.

6.025/10.

"Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla" throws viewers into a monster mash overflowing with cheese. While the film introduces the now-iconic Mechagodzilla, a mechanized doppelganger of the King of the Monsters, the rest of the experience is a slog. The plot is paper-thin, relying on nonsensical elements like alien mind control and a convenient prophecy.

The acting throughout the film is laughably bad, and the dialogue is so unintentionally hilarious it borders on parody. The human characters are forgettable at best, merely placeholders to move the nonsensical plot forward. Even the special effects, while somewhat charming in their datedness, can't save the film from its shortcomings.

"Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla" fails to deliver on anything but cheese. It's a popcorn flick with all the depth of a kiddie pool, and the only entertainment comes from laughing at its ineptitude. If you're searching for a thoughtful cinematic experience, this is not the film for you. However, if you're in the mood for a cringe-fest of epic proportions, "Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla" might just be your cinematic equivalent of a car crash - you can't look away, even though you probably should.

While the novelty of Mechagodzilla and the sheer cheesiness offer a certain "so bad it's good" appeal, the film is ultimately weighed down by its nonsensical plot, terrible acting, and dated special effects. It's a watch only for the most dedicated kaiju fans or those who revel in camp cinema at its absolute worst.

5.1/10.

"African Cats" throws out the tired tropes and delivers a visually stunning, emotionally resonant portrait of survival in the Kenyan savanna. Forget those serene nature montages; this is high-definition nature on fast-forward, capturing the raw power and heart-stopping vulnerability of its feline subjects.

Directors Keith Scholey and Alastair Fothergill don't just showcase lions and cheetahs; they weave a compelling narrative around two central figures: Sita, a fiercely determined cheetah mother raising her five rambunctious cubs, and Mara, a young lioness navigating the complex social hierarchy of her pride. We witness the constant struggle for survival - the ever-present threat of hunger, the ever-looming danger of predators.

The film's true strength lies in its breathtaking visuals. The vastness of the savanna unfolds before your eyes, showcasing the unforgiving beauty of this ecosystem. Slow-motion sequences capture the balletic grace and raw power of these magnificent creatures, while intimate close-ups allow you to connect with the emotions in their eyes.

Samuel L. Jackson's narration adds a touch of gravitas without veering into saccharine sentimentality. The film masterfully walks the line between showcasing the grandeur of these animals and the harsh realities of their existence. There are moments of heart-pounding tension during hunts and predator encounters, but also scenes of tenderness and playfulness, particularly between mothers and their young.

This is a visually stunning and emotionally engaging documentary that celebrates the power and resilience of big cats. It's a must-see for nature lovers and anyone who appreciates a good animal story, but be prepared for a few potentially upsetting scenes that might not be suitable for very young viewers.

8.725/10.