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Reviews
Epic Movie (2007)
Truly an Epic Movie. . .
The writers and directors of this film are geniuses! I can't imagine any other director living or dead having the talent to wring absolutely every iota of joy or humor from every frame of this film in such a spectacular fashion. It must have taken years of preparation. Even so, you'd think merely by accident there would be a smattering of humor hidden in this sad morass of mindless drivel; ahhhhh, but this was no accident; after all, they wrote the script!
Knowing that Friedberg and Seltzer have catapulted this rousing success into a disturbing parade of future stinkers, well now, I can only congratulate them on a job well done. Not worth watching, mind you, but well done. I look forward to avoiding their films in the future.
Who the #$&% Is Jackson Pollock? (2006)
Tell Me If I Like This Movie. . .
There's this old joke about a small town exhibit of Norman Rockwell paintings where a snobbish big city critic is trashing the art at every turn.
"We know why you don't like this art". says a local.
"And why is that?" asks the critic.
"Because we don't need you to tell us if it's any good!"
And thus, this film begs the question, "Is collecting modern art about art or collecting autographs?"
This HBO documentary details the adventures of Teri Horton (Tugboat Annie of the Trailer Park and professional dumpster diver); a small town gal finding herself in possession of what might very well be an original Jackson Pollock potentially worth millions and sets out to prove its authenticity. Herein lies the rub of modern art; "If you don't know who did it, is it any good"? We watch as the painting is wagged from pompous art critics to curious aficionados, business persons and forensic specialists each with their own take and assessment of authenticity. Little of which has anything to do with the actual art on the canvas.
Here is a fascinating look at the facade of modern art and the stuffed shirts who make cowardly proclamations regarding authenticity while avoiding the content of the painting itself.
Interesting stuff whether you like modern art or not; and while Ms. Horton's rural irascibility wears mighty thin by the end of the film, there's enough fun and insight to give anyone an art lesson.
My Life with Count Dracula (2003)
Swan Song for Fandom's Man-Child
I met Dr. Reed in 1963 and quickly became Vice President of the Count Dracula Society; an odd amalgam of monster fans and literary sorts also frequented by the likes of Robert Bloch, Ray Bradbury, Christopher Lee and many others. These were the days before horror and science fiction entered the mainstream and Don was the genius who pulled it off. Clearly, Don had the enthusiasm and energy to maintain and operate his gaggle of social lepers and monster kids and while he had his share of detractors he in the end, had the last laugh.
On many levels he was an amazing man and yet, that which made him successful, would serve to crumble his world about him. There was his childish charm, enthusiasm and clear love of the genre, yet there was also nasty vindictiveness, inability to cope with the world around him and his own mortality coupled with an immense, all consuming ego.
On a kitchen table in his cluttered home he and I drew plans for what would become The Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films. It was a masterstroke that could eventually lead to great and wonderful things, yet as the Academy became more famous, more lustrous, televised, reported on and about, his ego and sense of self importance exploded and when that final moment came where he had the choice of moving the Academy to the next level, he said simply "no" to the powers that be and thus began the downfall from which the Academy never recovered.
Dustin Lance Black has done an incredible unflinching job capturing this eccentric little man and the world in which he lived, serving as proof that "Absolute power" does in fact, "corrupt absolutely". This film is a must-see on so many levels.
My sole gripe is the Universal "Dracula" footage used (I suppose) to parallel aspects of Don's life. It only serves to slow down the film and I'll wager, using this footage is why the film isn't widely available.
Seeing myself in this film shows how much water has flowed under the bridge and that for a brief moment there were wonderful things afoot that turned alas, into time lost that can never be recovered.
Jaga wa hashitta (1970)
Action, Intrigue, Shoot'em up!
I saw this film at the marvelous Toho LaBrea Theatre in Hollywood in 1970 and was both thrilled and impressed with the tale of two killers. One, a top policeman charged with protecting a visiting Politician who happens to be a ruthless dictator. The other, an assassin set to kill the same.
I remember the interesting juxtaposition of the two killers, sometime, indistinguishable from one another - who is right? Protecting the villain or assassinating him?
I can't imagine how the film would fare today, but 34 years ago, it was exciting, the blazing gunplay was way over the top and I've never forgotten it and it was certainly a template for many of the action films to follow.
I wonder if this is available on DVD?
Hellboy (2004)
Boy, it's Hell
I was expecting something entertaining if not exciting and boy, was I disappointed on both scores. Hellboy was little more than a lot of noise in the dark. Thank God we can always drag Nazis from the Old Mel Brooks trunk - they're good for a laugh. Hellboy's hand is made of stone? Hunnh, you sure fooled me. The only thing I found interesting is that now technology allows us to do virtually anything, and we come up so short in the imagination department. I take that back. Technology allowed them to drain every ounce of excitement, character development and goshwow from every frame of this thing.
Dust (2001)
Beautifully Photographed Hodge Podge
Eventually disappointed and confused by this flick, I have to give credit for the wonderful photography and a few good performances, particularly Adrian Lester.
The violent scenes seemed an homage to "The Wild Bunch" and the music was quite good.
This back and forward telling of the story spoiled the fluidity , confused things and trivialized the integrity of the story that wavered at the whim of the story teller.
I have to ask WHY this woman had spent her life in poverty while hiding a kabillion dollars in gold in. . . .
And why did the brothers have such animosity toward one another?
Yikes!
I admit, I now would like to see more of the director's work.