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Reviews
Rock the Block (2019)
Oof Allison is the Wooooorst
Title says it all really. I really like the show concept (especially with their clear emphasis on donating the materials they take out starting in season 2) but, oof would be a significantly higher score without Allison. I've never seen any of her other shows and I definitely don't plan on watching them after seeing her in this. She's so rude and cocky and suuuch a sore lower. The decision to bring her back for season 2 was strange since every review I've read also talks about how much they dislike her. I can only assume she pitched a fit to the network to get brought back. I'll keep watching and just cross my fingers she isn't on season 3 lol.
The only other complaint I have is that the weekly judges seem to miss the brief a lot and just end up picking the design they like the most instead of the value added.
The Rookie: Feds (2022)
Just plain not good
A large part of your opinion on this will probably come down to how you feel about Neecy Nash. I actually like her alright in minor supporting roles as sort of that annoying yet sort of funny role. Medium roles she gets a bit much for me. This main role is TOUGH to watch. Just a really bad spinoff that I have a tough time thinking anyone wanted.
Past the sheer grating nature of her, there's really not much else redeemable about the show. The supporting characters have seemingly interesting backstories but, they just do really pisspoor jobs of exploring them. I'm not sure if someone different writes/produces for this show but, it seems to all be about Neecy which isn't how the Rookie really is.
I think my favorite character is actually Kevin Zeiger. I'd almost rather see his Rookie story than hers. It's a cooler backstory. If they get a 2nd season (which feels doubtful) I'd like to see Neecy's character just become part of the cast rather than the star. That happened to Nolan in the Rookie a bit and Nathan Fillion is far more enjoyable to watch.
At this point, I'm pretty much just watching for the crossover episodes.
The Lost Girls (2022)
sooooo AWFUL...I LOVED it. The Room 2.0
TLDR: Very possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. BUT if you have some free time to partake in some adult beverages and enjoy laughing at things that weren't really intended to be funny with friends, give this a go. If you want a movie that is ACTUALLY good....keep browsing, these are not the droids you're looking for.
To start, there are some high ranking reviews out there saying people are "missing the beauty/nuance"....they aren't. This movie is genuinely as bad as everyone says.
Why it's AWFUL:
-THE MAIN ACTRESS (Main Wendy). Oof. When watching this, I was convinced that there must have been some sort of nepotism with this casting. Turns out the actress is the writer...director...and lead...explains "the Room" vibes. I'm not sure if it was hubris or if this she had to fill in for another actress who left or what, all I know for sure is she did not do well in this role. It was unfortunate as some of the supporting cast actually put in solid efforts.
-Special effects. The typical whimsy and beautiful cinematography of Neverland associated films was just totally lacking. Set design was dull and flat. Flight was laughable (see more below). I've seen better production value from high school film jobs.
-Plot. Entire plot and script was just so lackluster. There was no clear direction. No connection established between the audience and the cast. Just a confusing mess.
-Makeup. I've never paid so much attention to makeup in my life. Since this film hops timelines so much, it seems vital to clearly age/de-age characters with makeup. The character they seemed to attempt this with (aside from actually switching actors) is the father. Everyone else just looks the same.....for 20 year+ spans in timelines. 21 year old Wendy looks the the same as 45 year old Wendy.
-Timeline consistency. As mentioned above, there is about tons of jumping between timelines. The actual set design and props very so drastically from the era that you think they should be in. This makes it even more difficult to really feel like you are in a different time in the characters' lives.
Why I LOVED it:
-Watch with friends. We watched with a group of friends and had a ball laughing at all of the issues listed above and below. Here are some specific details we found joy in:
*Main Wendy's accent. There are 3 different instances of Wendy throughout the years. Young Wendys have no accent have no accent, main Wendy has some awful nondescript accent (actress is Italian. I'm not sure if she was going for British accent or American accent here so....either was a fail).
*Flight special effects. Flying characters have VERY visible harnesses to go with super clumsy mechanics. In flight fairy dust was visualized by an actual strobe light (not CGI). And the only "fly through the clouds scene" looked like it came from the Neverending Story....so 40+ years ago.
*Set design. Mentioned a bit above. The poster looks is really misleading as the pirate ship looks quite good. In the movie it is like...a red trash barge they rented out for $75/day.
*Prop choice. Typically technology and background design make it easier to distinguish what era you are in. Just wild inconsistencies of technology and background design (using laptops when they shouldn't be around then cars from the 80s when it should be current era). Just made everything that much worse. The "wonder" of Neverland is legit just a field of lilacs....which, while somewhat pretty, is not whimsical whatsoever.
-Everything listed in why it's awful. Especially the sheer awfulness of the main actress' acting made this so easy to laugh at.
House of the Dragon (2022)
It's....Fine, I guess?
Watched through: 2 Episodes.
Is it GoT so, I'll watch it just because but, it is extremely lackluster so far. It's all dark and brooding and melancholy and dreary.... GoT was those things also but, not only those things. All of the moments of levity and charisma and vibrancy are just completely stripped away. I have no particular fondness for any characters. Daemon Targaryen seems like they want him to be kind of a cross between Little Finger and Jaime but, the former Doctor Who falls flat thus far, lacking charm of any kind.
It not TERRIBLY but, it's definitely not great either. I'm sure some people will keep putting 10s because "it's GoT" and "there's dragons" but, aside from young people walking around with white hair and some dragons, it doesn't feel much like GoT.
Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)
Suuuuch a Missed Opportunity
One quick note before content review if you are thinking of going to see it in theaters. This movie is LOUD! Sound seemed to almost double once trailers ended and the movie started. At first, I thought it was because I hadn't been to theaters in a while but, everyone was saying the same thing as we were leaving. It felt like we just left an artillery range. They spent so much money on the earth trembles they want you to feel that they just crank the sound effects. YIKES!
Now for content. Man, this was really disappointing. I didn't care for Fallen Kingdom but, I thought the premise that it set up for this movie seemed intriguing. It ended up really surprising me.....just not in a good way.
I thought this had such potential to be the most unique sequel yet. Dinosaur roaming the earth? I figured they would lean in to Jeff Goldblum's "Life...has way" tag line (which they so heavily feature in trailers) to make it so dinosaurs started reproducing. Would we see an end of days scenario? Co-Existence? Not so much.
They leaned HEAVILY into nostalgia. Which was kind of cool but, definitely can feel like the same story when....ya know....everything is the same.
I don't consider this a spoiler since if is highly mentioned and reviewed but, man. The big bad threat being cross-engineered locusts instead of dinosaurs is legit the biggest let-down.
I still like Pratt and it was cool seeing the original cast but, essentially everything outside of that felt like a major miss.
Free Guy (2021)
Free Guy = Fun Guy
I have to admit, I had low expectations heading in. I was worried that the star-studded cast was really just go mask the fact that it really wasn't going to be any good. I was worried it was going to fall in line with Ready Player One (which is one my favorite books but, a thoroughly "meh" movie). I was EXTREMELY pleasantly surprised.
The visuals were fantastic. I thought all of the actors handled their roles very well and added to the overall story. This felt more like Tron meets Video Game High School (an admittedly lesser-known TV show you should check out if you like this movie). This is actually one of my favorite new movies I have seen in a while. Definitely worth the watch.
American Auto (2021)
I Wanted to Like It BUT....
Maaaan, it's just so bad. I made it through 4 episodes and they were 4 of the longest episodes of my life. I have a tough time giving anything 1 star but, that came very close. Anything that made me slightly smirk was really just more from me remembering the original joke that this show just shamelessly ripped.
A lot of people are talking about how it is just an awful version of the Office or Superstore (which it definitely is oh so very much worse than both) but, I would say it more closely resembles and awful version of Better Off Ted. It definitely rips off of all 3 though.
Watch just.... I mean....literally anything else.
Peacemaker (2022)
The Only Intro I Don't Skip
Peacemaker is kind of the quintessential 'Merican in this series, presented in a way that makes lightheartedly makes fun of society. Ignore the negative reviews (though there are far more positive ones than negative), they seem to be from people where the traits they make fun of might hit a little too close to home or people surprised at the vulgarity (it's a premium cable series rated-MA, folks, this isn't a Disney+ MCU flick).
I will continue to update this as the season progresses in the event my rating changes but, I've watched the original 3 episode set that was released and I'm loving it. My only knock so far is that Peacemaker is kind of a bit of a buffoon so far that doesn't seem all that dangerous which strictly contrasts the bad*so killing machine we saw in Suicide Squad. That being said, I expect more epic fights to come and more impressive skills to be displayed by the titular character. Even still, I take that with a grain of salt as this is more about the background story than the action. It's funny. I like all of the characters so far. James Gunn I'd clearly in love with the 70's/80's still but, that's also funny and makes for good music. The opening Intro is one of my favorite of all time. I laughed so hard the first time the opening song came on.
Walker (2021)
The Eyes of the Ranger Should Turn Away
Man, I really tried to like this. First, calling this a remake of Walker, Texas Ranger is pretty crazy. Aside from there being a Texas Ranger named Cordell Walker, there really aren't many similarities. Basically every aspect of the character of Walker is changed. The gruff loner walker, an orphan and only child, now comes from an affluent family with a wife and family to boot. Speaking of boots, I'm 5 episodes in without a single boot meeting someone's face. No awesome theme song sung by Chuck Norris. No lovable retired Ranger (tell me CD wasn't the best part of the original show). No ex-NFL partner. Really, not much in the way of crime fighting. I think the argument could be made that his partner is more of the star of the show (she does a good job and is really the only reason I'm giving 2 stars).
I find it genuine confusing that they went "hey, everyone liked this show so, let's bring it back but......we're going to change everything." Any attempts at humor fully miss (which is another change because WTR had plenty of funny moments). I'd like Jared in Supernatural but, I do not like him here. I genuinely think they made a TERRIBLE mistake going with Jared over Jensen Ackles who makes much more sense in a role like this in my opinion.
I don't even really know how to classify this show. It feels like it is almost trying to appease everyone and instead misses on everything. It feels very bad teen drama at times. Bad crjme/drama at times. I really liked Walker, Texas Ranger. Maybe one day, someone will decide to remake it.
The Marine 2 (2009)
So Very Very Very Not Good
I'm all for an over the top action movie plot but, man, this movie is just awful. I'm shocked by the number of reviews claiming this is better than the first movie. I actually liked the first marine pretty well. I GENUINELY cannot think of a single redeeming quality about this sequel.
DiBiase has the screen presence of a potato. The writing is so uninteresting. Sound editing is so bad that is basically just random ominous background music throughout to mask an echo. Riddled with missed bloopers. Almost laughably hilarious choreography/stunts. This is not spoiling anything but, there is a scene when DiBiase falls off a roof with a bad guy and they just sort of hung in midair and floated down slowly because they were clearing 9n wires. It looked like the scene in Lost Boys when they are fighting while flying lol.
It is so bad it almost feels like a parody. Legitimately one of the worst movies I have ever seen. My 2nd star is because it is almost worth a watch to see just how bad it is.
Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)
All fire, no spark
I'll give it 3 stars because it's not THAT bad. It was just so all over the place. I really didn't feel the tension at all. A lot of little subplots/substories just fell so flat they shouldn't have made it out of the cutting room floor. They spend so much time telling you random little details about characters or random little side stories that add nothing to the film at all. Then there's the ending. Scroll for my complaints about that.
Ending is just so awful. The boy was so successful at keeping his father's secret from untrustworthy people that no one watching the movie got to know either. Who were the bad guys working for? No idea? What secret did they want to stay hidden? Not a single clue. Was it worth protecting? I couldn't tell you. Why was Tyler Perry there and does it have anything to do with Madea? Chalk it up to another maybe.
Clouds (2020)
Saddest Movie I Have Ever Seen
There will be at least one point that hits you straight in the feels. I toughed the majority of the movie out with just a few misty moments and deep breaths before finally getting slammed a bit at the end. I would equate the sadness factor of this movie to the first 20 minutes of John Wick repeated over an entire 2 hour movie. Wipe your cheeks, blow your nose, and soldier on.
At first, I didn't like it. It felt like the whole movie was going to be a heaping pile of sadness with random "inspirational" parts coming from his love of music and fulfilling his musical dream before he died. But, at some point while watching, I realized that the music didn't really matter. The cliché storyline that I thought was unfolding was simply not. The music was just his way of saying goodbye. Putting his final thoughts into words. It wasn't about the music.
Daybreak (2019)
Worth a quarantine binge
This is a solid show. The premise isn't overly unique (kids in the apocalypse) but, is presented in a fun and comical way that pokes fun at high school cliques and social media culture.
This will not become your favorite show but, it is worth an enjoyable watch, especially as Covid has us all consuming our watch lists at a higher rate. Just don't overanalyze it too much. The acting is just okay, no complex plot/development, and pretty predictable.
John Wick (2014)
Negative Reviews are so missplaced
This is legitimately one of my favorite movies. I don't understand the negative reviews here. I think people were expecting character/plot development. This is not that. This is a revenge movie. This is THE revenge movie.
A good revenge movie needs a few things: a believable cause for revenge, a hateable baddie, and great action sequences. Without giving spoilers (just watch it already though), I feel like this movie has strong checks all of these boxes. If you view this movie through this lens, there is no way you will be disappointed. The people who didn't like this must have been expecting a romantic comedy lol.
Gun play in this movie is some of the most accurate and interesting you will find. Reloads happen often, misses happen on occasion, and fighting happens seamlessly. Keanu allegedly did something like 97% of the stunt work for this movie after spending months training in various martial arts and firearms. If you don't believe it, youtube Keanu at the range. I mention this because it is evident in the seamless cinematography that can be captured because the direct can have wide hand-to-hand and firefight shots.
Watch this movie and give a review so we can get the score higher. Needs to be in the 9s for sure.
Angel Has Fallen (2019)
The Angel Definitely Fell
I went to see this in theater. I was a big fan of the franchise to this point.. Original was fantastic. Really enjoyed it. Sequel also quite good. This was just so very very very....very bad. Even setting aside a terrible storyline (which was poor even for an action movie), every aspect or this movie was underwhelming, especially considering the budget.
I don't expect alot from action movies but, I do expect the action to be...ya know....good? At least that part should be solid, right? Watching this movie depressed me a bit. It seemed like 70% of the movie was a continuous close shot of Gerard Butler's face, who is starting to make the Val Kilmer transition.
Slight spoiler from this point. Taking a look at the storyline, which as I said I put much less weight on for an action film than normal, it was also extremely poor. Gerard's character framed for an assissation attempt on the president, Morgan Freeman (who he obviously is guarding). The assassination attempt is by incredibly technically advanced means (as in never before seen advanced). Butler's prints are everywhere on the weapon controls. At no point do the people that arrest him question him being behind what would basically Tony Stark level tech nor him being smart enough to orchestrate an attack but, not wipe the keyboard, or almost killing himself also (that's right, he also almost died in the failed attempt). Having this idea of framing Butler for an assassination attempt was always going to be tough to pull off and make believable after he essentially saved the world twice.
This was the first movie that I can remember that I almost left the theater. I give it 2 stars simply for respect to the franchise and since I didn't actually leave the theater lol. If you have the thought to watch this movie, save yourself the heartache and go watch the prequels instead, or better yet a John Wick movie.
The Replacements (2000)
Washington Sentinels > Washington Football Team
This is my all time favorite football movie and probably in my top 10 favorite movies of all time. I rewatch this movie at least once per year and laugh every.. single.. time.
In 2020, the year of the nameless Washington football team, treat yourself to this movie to see the team Washington really needs, the Sentinels. Full of nonstop hilarity and inspirational quotes, the Replacements is worth a watch based on quality one liners alone.
If you haven't seen it, just watch it. You won't regret it.
Stargirl (2020)
Way Better than Batwoman
I watched the entire first season. I feel like that is an important distinction because many reviews seem to be written by people who didn't make it through the entire season or stopped at the pilot. There are many things evident from the pilot episode that carry throughout the season. The cinematography on this is blockbuster movie quality. From a graphics and sound perspective, I loved everything about it. I really liked the fact that DC went in an atypical direction from their standard dark brooding vibe.
Additionally, this series doesn't deal with the DC heroes and villains that the average fan is typically exposed to. While I had heard of the majority of the characters before the movie, I had very little in-depth knowledge on the majority of the heroes and villains depicted. I found this extra exciting to discover new heroes and villains.
This is definitely one of the top DC shows in my opinion. The acting, cinematography, and overall storyline are all light-years ahead of Batwoman, a show that arrived with noticeably more fanfare.
The only thing keeping me from 10 stars is, at times, I agree with other reviews that the main character gets a bit annoying and constantly makes the same mistakes (but, she is a teenager).
Overall, definitely worth a watch. Suitable for the whole family. Here's to hoping CW doesn't screw up the 2nd season.