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MacGyver (2016)
The Office is mockumentary. This is mockaction.
(there could be spoilers, but I don't thing they are, i didn't reveal the stories of the episodes, only details in scenes)
I'm watching it as it's a parody on all spy-action films. I don't remember myself laughing at ridiculousness of a film. It's so ridiculous it's passing the threshold of taking it serious. So many continuity mistakes. The team is so stereotyped so much so it gives me motion sickness. Don't get me started on physical nature of scenes. And this by the way contradicts the DIY ideas of MockcGyver which sometimes actually not all bad, sometimes fantastically improved, but not all ridiculous. Feels like there was a special person asigned to come up with them (granted, sometimes this person takes a sick day). For example, on minute he uses the gas detector from a car to find a moving vehicle which of course is weak to do it but it makes sense. And the next minute they found the car that is moving towards them. So, what, the emission of the vehicle is flying miles ahead of it? And the next moment he is using a smartphone as a hammer to bend a piece of armor metal on a killer-robot-car. It's funny. And oh my God. They talk so much! Is it really that necessary to chew every detail up? All these briefings in the so-called war room. All these ancient stereotypical scenes where boys kick each other the way it's supposed to render them near death in bath of blood but instead they have not a single bump. And when one person saves another from a moving car by throwing themselves at them? I mean, C'mon, people. For how long?
Buh-ut. Meredith Eaton is cool. I loved her in Boston Legal. And, of course, Tristin Mays makes my heart skip a beat sometimes.
Update.
Ok. I changed it from 3 to 4. I don't know if it's old but I like this stereotypical location annotation mocking. Sometimes it's funny. Nobody gets it. It's clearly a parody series.
Another thing. Every show where I see this thing I want to say "it gets old" and every time I see it again and once again it gets even older. I don't know why nobody says anything about that. The hatred by all the characters to the supposedly nerdy stuff. I remember it in 24, in Alias, In The Blacklist, and God knows how many more. When the guy in a lab (in this case it's MacGyver and Jill) starts explaining stuff, everyone starts rolling their eyes and interrupt rudely. In case sometimes they don't even tell anything difficult to understand.
Update
Ok. I finished the second season and changed my rating from 4 to 5. You know what, locations are not entirely bad. You can't always say that it's not the said country. Editing is not bad, it's captivating enough, keeps the pace and development. There is no weird pauses between phrases. I wouldn't say anything specific about cinematography, but it's up to the standards for such genre. And those silly close-ups of on-a-spot inventions are not that easy to direct. And, remember it's television. There are deadlines, stunts, locations graphic designs, even when there is a lot of green-screen shootings. So, you did it, MacGruber, oy, MacGyver, sorry.
The Blacklist: Anne (2021)
"without pain you can't feel joy" - Reddington
"without pain you can't feel joy" - Reddington. This phrase from an episode before characterizes the show. And these standalone episodes broke from the main blacklisters structure are worth the torture of poorly written scenes. Cape May, Brother, Anne, Ruin. Ruin is one of the few episodes about Keen that you can watch. I gave 5 to make my review stand aside. Notwithstanding the fact that at some point I filled up with tears, it's not a ten. I like this episode a lot. I like how they brought back Red's enthusiasm towards fixing things that appeared to be detrimental to his little domestic bliss. I like how pure their romance too. There is always something innocent in love of two mature people where there is no need for labels, history, only the moment.
And I think theses standalone episodes is a great invention. I'm sorry I don't know the full TV history, but I don't recall other shows with that feature. It's not just story, it's directed and shot differently.
But of course there is a drop of dirt in this honey. There is a storm from previous episodes still waving and smiling to you. And I'm not talking about the story. I'm talking about lacks in logic and scenes. Since everybody is a critique today. I'm gonna hop on that wagon myself.
Why did he start hiding. The real Reddington would jump in any car and drove with her away as fast as he could. His decision doesn't coalesce with his extremely coherent explanation at the station about what is going to happen.
And when they locked themselves in the back and I was looking at Townsend's short beard through this cracked glass It got me thinking. Why the heck is Reddington the number one on the FBI most wanted list? I don't recall him assaulting a police station and killing cops. He should be at least after Townsend. It's not like Townsend a classic blacklister. I got the impression that agencies knew about him. We should start by reassessing why Ressler was chasing after him around the world before the events of the show took place? Doesn't FBI work within the territory of the US? But anyway, in the beginning of the show we take it at face value that Reddington is the most wanted because he is the most criminal and dangerous and all that. But by the time of the 8th season we saw so many monsters that wasn't unknown that every one of them has all the reasons to be the number 1 on most wanted list.
Ah, James. How are you able to make simple moments so hauntingly beautiful? This moment when Red turned the car with the Spader's hallmark crooked grim line reminded me of The Stickup and made me want to rewatch the incredible movie.
The Blacklist: Rakitin (No. 28) (2021)
oh oh
I've been saying in the reviews that I like the main story anyway despite some poorly written scenes and I am watching it because of it. And I still do and I still am. But sometimes somebody writes a story only being focused on events ignoring the mere reasoning and logic. So here is how they present the latest development of this story in general and in this episode.
1. There is a person who stole data from former USSR.
Their response: oh my God!
I'm thinking: what do you care so far?
2. Turns out Reddington is N-13 as they think
Their response: oh my God
I'm thinking: still, what do you care? You knew before that what Reddington allegedly does. And it's not American data so far?
3. And now somehow they came to conclusion that because he stole files from USSR he is stilling files from the States.
And as if it wasn't enough; Cynthia goes "He's a sleeper agent"
What in God's name? If they just established he is stealing the intel it's not who a sleeper agent usually is. Sometimes watching The Blacklist is like talking with a schizophrenic that forgets what was said just a second ago. No wonder I had to watch the show two times. And what possible intel from the FBI Reddington would need if he knew more than they already. Infiltrated? M, yeah, sure.
The Blacklist: The Cyranoid (No. 35) (2021)
28:00 I laughed so hard here.
"It's me. It's me. Remember how...?" am I watching a b film about possession? These speeches about "believe me it's me" like she is talking to a zombie are too far. She killed a woman with bare hands and saying "it's me it's me" and funny thing is that "Aram is like a boy on the school bus with his first erection" - Reddington's words, nut mine. And this is why we are still watching it. Reddington, also being the main character let's not forget, provided us with the instructions on how to watch further seasons. Common guys, give them some credit. It's a TV show, it has deadlines, contracts (which Boone probably didn't approve or decided to take a sabbatical) , it has targeted audience. It's still better than Alias and 24 all together, where in Alias we hear the same music and the same scenes, Some techno when when she's running and whino-songs when she is sitting on the couch, and in 24 where ever other season he is running to prevent nuclear apocalypse. 5 is for the main story.
The Blacklist: Chemical Mary (No. 143) (2021)
One of the laziest scene writings. The story is good
The file that was hidden on Rakitin's flash-drive is Crime and Punishment by Dostoevskiy. Can you imagine? You dedicated 40 minutes of your life and paid for it either by ads or subscription or for the episode. And maybe you were following the story all these 7 years, And there is someone who was paid to develop one of essential props for the main story. And this person probably with slice of pizza in one hand and the mouse in the other laid back and said "ah, screw it" and just googled Dostoevsky and copy-pasted two pages from Crime and Punishment. I'm hoping that next episodes will reveal it was some sort of code. I don't think it's certifies as spoilers, anybody watching would expect that somebody will open the flash-drive. And since you would not understand a word there so there is no spoilers.
The Blacklist: Nicholas T. Moore (No. 110) (2018)
Huge spoilers. Tread carefully.
I suppose in the beginning of writing a season they have enough time and every season always starts well-balanced and the characters are calculated. But closer the deadline the less inspired the writing crew gets.
Ok. So they thought, we have to get rid of her so let the time do it for us. For some reason, Reddington doesn't care for Samar, neither did Ressler nor Elizabeth. Every dumb film and show including The Blacklist they always interrogate a suspect on a spot when their own is in trouble. And they are not letting Aram to simply ask Moore about the fixer. What? It's like watching a different film with the same actors. And apparently they just went to sleep or what? And the next day they gathered for the classical TV crime drama briefing. If they pressed Moore right away, he would tell about the fi[er and Reddington would have find the lead in the next hour.
I always say in reviews that I am extremely tolerating audience member but sometimes, just... Ok. After that, a wrench stubbing Samar by itself. Have you ever used a wrench like this? First of it's not sharp, second of all even if there was a knife laying around it would not have break the clothes and skin just by falling onto a person, let alone a crude wrench. And if it wasn't enough. She broke the wrench in a half. By trying to bend the cage. WHAT? Even a cheap wrench like this is designed to unscrew the rusty bolts and nuts to change a tire. Ok, then Samar calls Aram and says I'm in the water. For all this seasons they showed us how this smart Aram starts "triangulating the area" (whatever that means) as soon as he hears "water" or "forest" or "mountains" or "waterfall" (exactly in the previous episode it was the waterfall). And I understand he is under stress but all he need to do is to say it into intercom. And don't get me started on why they don't have a chopper. I'm watching these not-so-special agents and it's like they are playing the writers who are thinking "well, we already decided to get rid of this character so let's do nothing". Even their voices sound lazy.
There is a technicality flaw after that, which could be forgiven if not for the all the rest. On 33:37 Samar is trying to open the cage and it's showing as if the water has reached the roof. But when Aram is trying to open the cage you can see how there is space in the corner. And obviously at this point the van has stopped drowning because it's a flat river and the van is near the shore. So she could have waited breathing in this corner. Again, I usually don't hang up on the technicality like this. But in the bunch it's only making it worse.
The Blacklist: Ian Garvey (No. 13): Conclusion (2018)
Went here to read hateful reviews, and in the lack of such decided to write one.
Too much. Just too much. My 6 starts are only for the main plot. There is always a risk of letting an additional storyline to overweight the main story. And I was ok with this Elizabeth's tantrum in the previous seasons because there was the only possible reason which is "first experience". And now without that even me can't justify the character's reasons. I'm very loyal and grateful audience. But can you imagine something like this in real life? Your husband got killed in cold blood in front of your eyes, then you spent 10 months in a coma, other people get killed. Even a stupid person should have acquired some epiphany. But the further along we are following the story the stupider Elizabeth becomes.
But still, the main story unfolding very cool, and since it's a story about Raymond and his blacklist I'm not bothered too much by the character of Elizabeth.
The X Files: F. Emasculata (1995)
great work with regular televisionisms
Cinematography is huge. There are at least two great moments that I've put into my ledgers of my favorite photography sequences. When Scully is at the incinerator at 15:00 and when Mulder approaching the phone booth at.17:48. But we already can see the parked helicopter in the background the one that is just landing after this shot. But hey, it's a TV show, go and shot a production like this with severe deadlines. But I personally can bear continuity flaws like that. On the other hand, such televisionisms as the lack of sense in the science portion of the story sets me on edge. Again, it's not always the most important thing. After all, the story and the characters portrayed with great photography and montage is the essence.
What I'm talking about is this whole bug story. Dr. Osbourne says it's not the bug infecting people but the parasite that the bug transports. Would be cool to know the name of this parasite. Ok, moving on. And then bam, again. How did the bug end up in a body from which Scully pulled it from if the larvae that spreads are not the bug's but of the parasite. And when in the end Mulder said The pharmaceutical company was trying to approve a drug. So the only logical way to support this conclusion is that they have an antibiotic against this bug, right? At this point I went back to the conversation with Dr. Osbourne and he says "we were interested in it because of a dilating enzyme it secretes". So their study is not against the bug, but rather to use something from it. But I don't understand that parasite were discovered accidentally or did they know about this desease and the parasite. If the latter is the story here then why the enthomologist is so stupid and acting like he doesn't know about it?
The only possible coherent scenario I see here is this. The bug learned how to fight this parasite using a specific enzyme. And the company learned about it and decided to develop a cure from this bug in case of an outbreak. But since in 2024 today everybody is a microbiologist we all know that some parasites are host-specific. So it either should be a known human-host parasite or the company went for gamble and it could have never even jump to humans. And if it's the last case then the story starts to shine when Mulder says about circumventing approval period, because of how evil it is to create such an experiment without even knowing if it exists. Or, maybe there was an outbreak in Costa Rica and they knew and they sent this entomologist to get him infected. But that's a reach. In any case there could be just a couple of extra phrases to add some logic. But in any case the bug shouldn't be in a body.
But hey, it's the episode with the second long dialog between Cancer Man C. G. B. Spender.
I wouldn't agree with negative reviewers who always want an episode to be a perfect world where not only characters behave all logical but everything is chewed up un put into your mouth so you don't need to think. So what we don't see prison officers? I think it's implied here that those who above made sure that everything goes according to their plan, I easily can see how someone like Alex Krycek came and show some papers or stood somewhere with a gun to someone's head, by this moment the context has laid pretty thick here. So what a helicopter suddenly came and people in hazmat suits grabbed the man. I can see how through their channels they quickly learned about the situation at the Gas station. People, stop watching films with your stopwatch, Not every film or episode is the "88 minutes" movie.
The only other thing that surprised me is how sloppy and irresponsible in the beginning. It doesn't track with her character.
And so the last word should be a good word. If you disregard the plot part in the script the dialogs are great. There is a very important key moment of the relationship between Sculders and Skinner expressed so laconically in one phrase "I stand right on the line that you keep crossing". I never valued this moment for years of rewatching the show. It will lead their relationship for all the seasons.
The Blacklist: The Artax Network (No. 41) (2016)
Like watching two shows simultaneously
If I could I would give it two different ratings. 10 for the story and 2 for the action scenes. I don't know the productions methods in TV industry but I assume it's not written to a letter. To choreograph action scenes you have to know locations first. And if there is someone who works specifically for that purpose, I'm sorry, dude or dudess, it's crap sometimes. Maybe there is not enough time so they have to think on their feet. So as an example in this episode in the scene of the fight between the merc woman and Navabi at the 18th minute something unexplainable happens. The victim is almost falling down the stairs and Navabi catches him which is great, but then she holds him as if he's hanging down a cliff. But he's almost sitting on the stairs. It's like this moment from the Office when Michael Scott drove the rental car into the lake and they panicked so strongly they were trying to get out of the water just knee deep but so dramatically so as if they were in a storm in the middle of the ocean.
The Blacklist: Mr. Solomon (No. 32): Conclusion (2016)
Should you like characters in films?
One of my friend once said "you know, I've decided because I don't like the show Friends. Because all the characters are jerks". I was strongly ambivalent to his feeling because I think we're not supposed to like them, at least we don't have to. Otherwise, wrap it up guys, we don't have stories to write about. But after this 10-year-old girl's multiple tantrums I'm asking myself where is the line between not liking the character and getting annoyed by the character? And I understand an author has all the rights to create a character to trigger an emotion reaction even when it's hatred towards this character. And that's ok. My guess, the reason everybody responds to Liz' in this unsettling way is the focus on her as a main character and angling her story as existentionalistic journey, hers is a "me story". It's because the show has been balancing between the good idea and as what I call televisionisms. The story is obviously is not about Elizabeth Keen. It's not even starting with her which of course is not a universal sign, granted. But if you take it into account with the whole story you realize that yes it's not about her. But let's not forget it was produced for TV, creators always have to compromise to make it appealing to a broader audience. And don't blame them for that. It's either you make compromises and you have the budget and you're able to make a great story alive or you say "F the TV", write your intellectual genius obscure piece, shoot it with 1000 dollars and upload it to YouTube. And as the matter of fact many do, and we have enough of it too. SO it is what it is. To keep a show alive you have to add a line of a supposedly brave female character, you have to add her self-observing angle, her feelings and dreams, and so on. The same was with Alias which I couldn't finish watching, and I tried. Remember those repetitive scenes where she sits on a couch and that similar sobbing songs is always on the background? But let's imagine for a second that we make her an absolutely likeable character by giving her logic, common sense, ability to adapt to situation. Then it would steer the whole story into this character. Considering that I would say, way to go, guys! And Megan did her job precisely how it supposed to be. So, I just always watch this show as if it's clearly about Reddington. If it helps you might try watching it as if Elizabeth is a mild villain in this story. :-)
7 is because it's not the best episode.
The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)
A cheap grotesque version of Succession or a lazy money cow.
It just reeks of laziness, tight deadlines, and money-saving. Great casting but only in a sense of names. There is no chemistry between them. I wouldn't watch it at all if it wasn't for Carla Gugino. And honestly, she makes poorly written dialogs appearing just a little bit alive. And she always brings a vibe to a story.
The dialogs are boring. Nobody makes a pause nobody thinks nobody hesitates nobody coughs . Most of them sound like reading from a teleprompter but "with a soul" and with dramatic tone.
Very eagerly exploits this boring fantasy by the little man about rich people that they all are supposed to be sexually deviant. And, of course, not as much of erotic to shrink the age restriction but just enough to make you uncomfortable.
It's a grotesque and cheap version of Succession because the theme of the world of billion dollar families is touched just by surface and portrayed more as a lore rather than as a developing scenery that explains the characters. And yet it's a substantial part of the story and that's why the issue still bothers.
If you are going to watch it I would recommend follow it as a paraphrased storytelling which technically it appears to be.
And yes, I don't like how the dialogs are recorded. The problem is you know many of these actors from other films and shows and they don't sound like that.
Smile (2022)
You have to go crazy to see who really cares about you.
Yes. Sometimes you have to go crazy to see who really cares about you. I would say it's the main idea in the story itself. We are so stupid that we often can't see that sometimes people whom we push the hardest are the ones that just always are there for us. But I gave it a 10 because it's nice to see how photography of the horror genres really evolved. Also those upside down landscapes are such symbolic to the story. Nice work, guys. I'm saying it as a non-fan of horror movies, haven't watched a single one for the last 2-3 years. I wouldn't recommend it to watch for people who lost someone recently. A human mind is a mysterious world truly. How it torments its host sometimes. And I like how balanced and cohesive psychological drama and suspenseful horror are in this film. My heart goes to all people with amok running powerful minds.
UPD
I have watched first 15 minutes again.
This type of sound design for a music score is not something new today. But I can see it here how the composer works hand by hand with the editor. It's not too repetitive. Sometimes in a movie they give just enough money to create some scary unsettling sound and they will cut it in several times. In this case it's a fully scored film with different approach do different scenes. And at the same time there is something they call leit-motif, term originated in opera. But it's often when the works of composer and editor are not so linked and after a composer has done their job the editor will use the music to fill the scenes but those unpredictable shots and frame changes in scary films are usually supported by effects like "boom" "fshooh" and so on. This time the music in the score plays this role at least some time which makes it so cohesive and serves the main purpose - to hold your attention with a cold grip. And it makes it easier to use less scary monsters and naked people to keep it more artistic and less market-targeted.
By the way, has anybody noticed there is no single naked body there? And I couldn't make a pause to poor myself a cup of coffee. Way to go.
I committed to write a review without spoilers so I'm gonna keep my comments about certain great details in the script. But I will say this, if you haven't watched it yet and you are a grateful audience like me pay attention to every detail at the first 15 minutes. Including face expressions. It will tie up the whole story in the end perfectly.
Black Site (2022)
new fantasy genre
The events took place in a parallel universe where physics laws don't work, where highly trained soldiers have reaction level of a sloth. And where a supposedly super deadly assassin having high scarcity of time and being chased by the highly trained stuff of a secret facility makes 15 stub wounds to one victim and 21 to another. It's probably the same parallel universe in which Superman was shot because people here have the same face-recognitaion ability where glasses are considered a super disguise. And by the way, code "red' in this facility means "consider making another sip of your beer and maybe lift yourself up and take a look what's the fuzz". But hey, the music is good!
Twin Peaks: The Return: Part 8 (2017)
Takes you back to Fire Walk With Me
It really takes you back to the movie in terms of broken hopes. So here my hopes was during the episode. So the bomb created the Bob maybe. And when the giant saw that he created Laura to somehow balance Bob, dunno, maybe. And all the long scenes could be a phantasmagoria to present of the idea of creation of good and evil (but common, Laura Palmer's character? So much for pure good). The fact that I don't have to make all the work for the author notwithstanding (i mean what the fridge?), I can forgive almost anything but not incoherent ignorance to the story. So, I hoped that the girl and the boy are actually Leland and Sarah, and the gold ball with Laura is their love maybe, the timeframe can match. But then I hope that the boy comes back and Bob will possess him. Maybe they are from New Mexico but then they moved to Twin Peaks. Anyway, there are so many ways. Just give us a glimpse of a link, just some connection to the story. Oh, and the weird metal capsule with two barometers? Clearly somebody was lazy or behind schedule and just pull it from the third episode.
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992)
Extremely incohesive. Doesn't give a damn about audience
I don't write reviews often. I thought this time I should. Because I feel like I wasted two hours. And usually I like any type of films, low-budget, high-budget, well-known, unknown, weird films, simple films. It doesn't matter when I get what the author is trying to say to me even when I don't agree or I don't like it. Because like anything in the Twin Peaks story but even more this time, this film keep promising everything and gives a bone. I don't know Lynch's works so well to say, it's his thing. I hate when somebody tells you something with a weight and a premise that this is something clever but refuse to explain to you because they want you to continue feeling stupid. That film is exactly like that. I understand that people watch movies differently and they look for different things. But I hate when an author (whatever genre or type of media it would be) think "I'm gonna just throw there surprising and weird stuff, and people will call it genius themselves".
Yes, I understand, and a surface the story is plain simple. But what is the author trying to say here? And every time when I am given a new piece that is supposed to unveil something that was said either in the beginning of the film or in the first two seasons, it just left there hanging. I watched the movie and I have more questions that before. Why the ring? Why bringing up new pieces instead of work out the previous one. Lots of pieces not worked out. There is so much bigger universe you can create with the pieces from two seasons. I don't care how it changed TV at the time, if it ever did. The art of visual performance in time was here for millennia. And I don't get. What is the Black Lodge? Is it Hell? Is it like purgatory for dead souls? If so, why is Dale here? Why can't he just go outside? What was the thing with Leland and the blood in the end? And editing is such a mess. The filthy 10-minute scene at the bar with scene around down to less than one minute. What the fridge? Why did he "has" to kill her. It looked like he did it because she took it. And than who did? DId Bob do it because she took the ring, or did Leland do it because of the ring? And the one-armed man? In the season we left it that somebody was in this man too, and he was trying to fight Bob. If he did, why did he throw the ring to Laura? Why why why. When Phillip Jeffries (David Bowie) is remembering all those ghosts, why the hell are they in some old house and not in the Black Lodge? And of course, you suspect more tape spent on the mystery of the story than this horny high-school saturnalia. We didn't get the answer why she started going down like this. Was it in the family? Was Leland always like this, or only after he saw her? The story goes the way that Bob was after Leland since he was a boy. So where do we see Bob and where Leland? Because the film makes it more frustrating. The scenes of her and Leland show only him as her father going insane. Did he go to a prostitute because Bob made him to do it in the first place? Or Bob shows up only when Leland is mad? And then Bob says that according to her diary she knew. So how long that has been going? And so, f she knew why does she's screaming like she saw the father first time? There were so many events about the two diaries in the series. So, why don't cover that?
"eh, what are you, eight? Don't you know what metaphor is?"
"eh, you just don't get surrealism"
I get it. But a good metaphor is like a good pun. This film is like a bad pun - everybody gets it, but nobody laughs.