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Crank Yankers (2002–2022)
2/10
Teeerrrrible
22 September 2004
I remember this show looking really funny when it was first advertised. "Crank calls, puppets, and comedians," I thought. "How could you go wrong?"

The first thing that went wrong with this show was the Special Ed character. Because we all know how funny mental retardation is, right? There's not many things funnier than mental retardation, except maybe repetitive jokes that weren't even funny the first time. But this show has tons of those so I guess I really lucked out, huh? "Hey, this guy burps a lot. Isn't that funny?" "This guy was in Vietnam and he's craaaaaazy. Are we funny yet?" "Oh, wait. We got an unfunny English character, too." "We also got a guy that throws up. Throwing up is funny, right? No? Well, maybe if we do it over and over it will be."

Of course, there's been some funny calls on here. Most of them are pretty terrible, though. All of the returning characters seem to reach some sort of turbo-charged level of badness. Even comedians that are normally funny (David Cross comes to mind) seem to lose their funny powers on here.

All in all, this show is pretty bad. But what do you expect when it was created by Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel, two of the unfunniest people on the planet. The Man Show was one of the most pathetic shows ever put on TV. "Well, we could make a whole show with midgets and fart jokes. Maybe we could do a whole episode with midgets and then we could do one with fart jokes. Then, maybe we could do a whole episode with farting midgets."
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Poor George Putnam...
29 March 2004
This film features George Putnam (who is described as an "outstanding news reporter" in the credits) talking about porno magazines. He informs us about the filth that is invading our homes and corrupting our youth and turning fresh-faced youngsters into homosexual communists etc etc. While most the film is like some sort of spoken word version of Reefer Madness, the most hilarious part is when Putnam starts reading from some pulp novel about street thugs filled with old-timey lingo and everything. First, imagine a guy who would have been described as a "square" back in the day reading the following passage with a lot of emotion: "What are we alive for but to get all the kicks we can? Sex, that's a kick. Sure damn good one. A guy can never get enough of that. Drinking, that's another kick. An okay kick. Marijuana, sure. Them's good, too. If you don't let it get the upper-hand with you. Heroin, H, there was something to be said for that. I tried it, but horse isn't such a good kick because it takes more than it gives. And before long, you use it and you don't get any kick." That's just the gist of it. There's plenty more to be made fun of here. Although, some of the stuff he brings up in here looks pretty bad. One magazine appears to contain child pornography. I'm just sitting there thinking, "Um, that's not the kind of thing you write to your local congressman about. I think think that's the kind of thing you tell the police about."
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