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GreenTurtle1010
Reviews
The Bourne Identity (2002)
Weapons. Spies. Sex. Car chases. Cops. CIA. <-- Which one doesn't belong?
I was really enjoying this movie. I was into it, groovin'...
Then it happened.
Do you really expect me to believe that with the CIA on him and spies up his a$$ the Jason Bourne can pencil "bang the German" into his agenda?
I think not.
I don't know why Hollywood feels pressured to include love or sex IN EVERY SINGLE MOVIE. Can't there be an action movie just about action?
Oy vey.
Well, I left it half way because it upset me so. I never do that. I find it somewhat of a sin to walk out of a movie. But I did.
The fact that they're making a part two sickens me.
The Goodbye Girl (2004)
Reqiuem for a Classic
This remake of the Goodbye Girl has to be the worst movie I have ever seen. I don't see why they remade it in the first place. The old one isn't outdated by far, it's not in black and white... I can't think of a single reason as to why they went through the trouble of slaughtering a classic!
Now, I must admit, I only caught the last scene. Although it's supposed to me the most powerful, it really wasn't. I've seen the old one a hundred or more times and I was very dissapointed.
Patricia Heaton isn't anywhere near as loveable as the first Paula was, and Jeff Daniels managed to massacre the character of Elliot. Unfunny, unlovable, unrealistic and unconvincing.
Terrible and unnecessary remake.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
I want my $9.50 Back
Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a mockery of every horror film ever made. Having no real plot, no story, no lesson, all it is is an excuse to show blood, guts and gore. The first five minutes of the movie went quite well, but from then, it all went down hill.
The scenes do deliver some scares and thrills here and there, but scary images of people have limbs cut off aren't worth watching if there's no believable plot to accompany it. The film is dark, depressing, and gloomy. After watching three people get slaughtered, I learned to close my eyes when the graphic scenes came. Why should I expose myself to unnecessary violence if I'm not even going to get a good story out of it?
I do admit I scooted to the edge of my seat for certain parts of the film. But after a while, even the chase scenes became boring and predictable.
Girl runs. Girl finds an abandoned shack. Girl hides. Killer comes and looks around. Minute of suspense as killer gets inches away from girl's hiding place. Killer leaves. Girl lets out heavy sigh when killer jumps out of nowhere. Repeat.
A half hour into the movie, I was inches away from leaving the theatre. Only to not be rude to my friend that accompanied me, did I stay. While driving home, I spotted a police car. I was very tempted to pull over beside it and report a robbery to the officer. My $9.50.
I highly DO NOT recommend this film. It's filth, trash and a whole lot of red paint. Oh excuse me, blood.
So Little Time (2001)
"Haven't you see TV? It has nothing to do with talent".
That title came at a perfect time. I was channel surfing, came upon this show, decided to sign on and trash it and then, out of nowhere I hear the redheaded girl on the show say that quote! HA!
Well, onto the trashing: I think that this is, by far, the worst Mary-Kate and Ashley project ever (not that many of their other ones were any good). The directors try to make it seem so "hip" and "new age". You can tell by the setting and decor that they're really trying to appeal to viewers as stereotypical California teens.
They failed horribly.
The parents on the show are horrible, but yet again, so is everyone else. I honestly don't see how the twins have come as far as they have. I think their agents just played their cards right. Anyway, the acting, jokes, everything is disgustingly bad. The "jokes" they crack are so unfunny, I'm not sure it's safe to call them jokes.
I give this show 1 star out of 10. But only because, when playing critic, I don't think you're allowed to a show -5 stars, like this one deserves.
Deep Family Secrets (1997)
Uhm... is this a joke?
I'm watching this film as I write this. It's about 45 minutes into the film and there's been so much back and forth and empty drama, I don't quite see where it's going. No facts, just enough to leave you making assumptions. The acting of main daughter is painful. How did this ever get made??? Not the best of Lifetime films.
When in Rome (2002)
It's just a bunch of stuff that happens
This movie really has no beginning or end. And it's really VERY unbelievable. Mary-K and Ashley are supposed to be interns working in a mailing room for an Italian fashion company. But, for some reason, they're put up in a 5-star hotel (conveniently located across the street from the Coliseum), and all of the other interns they work with are just as abnormally model-looking as they are. One thing that I found obvious in this movie is the way that one of the twins DOESN'T end up with the guy. I guess they tried to twist their usual plot a bit. Nice try.