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joeywyss
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The ABC Murders (2018)
Visually delicious, Engagingly dark.
The cinematography is simply perfection, from closeups to wideshot of the beautiful English countrysides. The decision to go dark instead of light and comical (we are talking about MURDER here) I found to be very successful also. Excellent casting, from Malkovich to even Rupert Grint (who finally gets a role where he's not just the goofy ginger, but a serious grown man), all the roles were spot on. While there are many complaints here that it wasn't David Suchet (who, agreed, was a slice of heaven), it must be realized Mr. Suchet was not the first to play Poirot, and he won't be the last, any more than the many Miss Marples that got to play the role. Malkovich takes the character in a different direction and it works. To all the complainers, it would be BORING to see any of Agatha Christie's material portrayed in the exact same way with the exact same actors over and over again. Clearly the project and material was treated with love and true intent, not remotely with the disrespect being portrayed by some of the postings here.
Hereditary (2018)
Surprisingly Outstanding
I was an hour into this movie , and I was thinking, "Hey, it's a good movie, but it's not a horror movie." NOPE, definitely a HORROR MOVIE, and the best parts are the twists and turns because you can't figure out, is this Satanic? Is it just this one's crazy, or that one's crazy? Is this a freakin dream? Excellent! Great production and ideas, great imagination...a nice pay attention horror piece.
Bad Kids of Crestview Academy (2017)
Surprisingly Good
I kept waiting for this to turn into a groan-er, but ended up very surprised. There's some very dark twisted humor woven throughout, and a good choice of newbie casting gives it a solid base to build on. After all the garbage horror I'm finding on Amazon Prime, this was a delight. I had an expectation of some degree of quality when I saw Gershon, Astin and Browder (who also directed!), and was waiting to be let down by the 'teens' but they held their own which saves the movie. Funny without being silly or campy, gory but not ridiculously so, and a solid script that stayed on point. The blending of the graphic novel scenes was a cherry on top to be sure. I usually prefer my horror to lean more supernatural , but this was a solid choice, and THANK HEAVENS none of that found footage garbage.
The Den (2013)
Starts with such potential, collapses into absurdity.
**Possible spoilers *** The most disappointing thing about this one is it started off with so much potential and good execution, and then collapsed into stupidity. Cast with some actual talent who weren't stumbling around in front of the camera , a tightened script that wasn't stuffed with ad libs and improv being tossed off inexperienced actors, and production that didn't look like they went shopping at the dollar store. It even handled the found footage camera excuse with a nice twist, at least at first. It hums along building up a good head of steam, and then at the halfway mark, totally crashes and burns. Of course there's the inevitable and inexcusable camera angles as they keep their phones pointed at their faces while they run from murderers or phones drop at just the right angles during the attacks. Plot holes you could drive a bus through like strangers strolling through crime scenes surrounded by police and even interviewing witnesses or moving and removing evidence in full view of a dozen detectives, or expert computer techs who can't find spy-ware but can evaluate a multi server IP address, or cams that work even after hard drives have been wiped. Then it gets worse as it warps into some sort of Saw meets Texas Chainsaw movie, with even more plot travesty like not stopping unarmed killer with your sledgehammer. Then, the ending twist you can see coming a mile away, topped off with the writer/director wanting to make ' a point' at the last scene. So disappointing. Typical when writer/director is the same person.
As Above, So Below (2014)
Another Nail in the Coffin of American Horror Movies
Yet another waste wrapped in the "Found Footage" gimmick playbook. It's all here, gotcha scares you can see coming a mile away, mysterious figures walking past doorways in the background, clumsy ad lib and exposition, the come to Jesus speech to camera as you wait to die, and worst of all, the ridiculous camera footage being 'captured' while monsters/demons/killers/witches or whatever are trying to kill you. Here it's even worse because the footage of cameras that are clearly dropped and left behind still end up in the final product. They aren't even sticking to the Blair Witch playbook. It has an interesting premise, but of course is saddled with a weak limp script. It has an adequate cast that can do more than spell acting, but unfortunately they are also collared by same vapid scripting. The required abundant poor decisions are here to drive the script (seriously, your friend who disappeared in the catacombs long ago mysteriously appears to lead you out? Why follow him when HE couldn't get out?). A fleshed out script for an interesting plot performed by a competent cast would have made this a pretty good movie. That's the biggest shame here, a good idea and good casting were completely squandered to fit the new budget model. And yet they can't figure out why box office is down.
The Possession of Michael King (2014)
Surprisingly Good
I'm giving this a full 10 because compared to what passes for a 'found footage' horror flicks these days, Possession deserves an Oscar. An actual plot. Actors you've never heard of that can actually ACT. Realistic ad lib. Relevant gore, not prurient syrup. A director who is talented enough to take a fully formed script and flesh it out on the screen. REAL CAMERA WORK, with the 'found' footage being handled with such a deft hand it was actually believable. I can only imagine how the horror genre would be appreciated these days if all of the producers and directors could wring this much impact out of a small budget. Even the closing credits were interesting enough to watch through. If ONLY this is what found footage films were like as a rule. Bravo.
Don't Blink (2014)
Surprisingly Good
This is by far the first movie I have seen that was successful when written and directed by the same person. This is the best I've seen Zack Ward, Brian Austin Green, and Joanne Kelly in. This is the kind of quality horror movie you can get without relying on the cheap found footage gimmick that has been done to death. This is what should get national release instead of crappy boobs and blood films that have been foisted on us for years. I had high hopes when there was a depth of experienced actors in a horror film, and was not disappointed. Starts a little slow with all the exposition, but due to the cast being actually able to deliver their lines believably (sorely lacking in most horror these days), you stay with it until the mystery kicks in, and then we're good to go. Good pacing and surprises up to the last shot. Well done in my opinion, and a million years ahead of the current "oh lets pretend we all run around with cameras and phones even while the monster is chasing us" ridiculousness.
Gantz: Perfect Answer (2011)
Gantz 2, a rare sequel equal or better than Original
This is a lot better than I expected, although I wish I'd known Gantz 2 was actually a sequel that was better than the original, or at least a vital part of what should have been a multi-episode mini-series. If I had watched both together I would have enjoyed much much more. I assumed it would be a light fun sci-fi popcorn movie, but it has much more depth than that in the end which makes it truly satisfying. It suffers from a dialogue issue I find with a lot of Asian import films, whereas the humor or exposition doesn't quite translate to English, but that's not really a fault so much as to be expected. It was a wise decision to use Asian actors to do the English overdubs , and the cast do an excellent job of mimicking to the tracks although clearly not speaking the vocal. The director has a clear and concise vision here, and is completely successful in finessing the photography although he really shines in Gantz 2. The action and fight scenes are a joy, with the wire-acrobatics and choreography you'd expect. Against the alien mutants in Gantz-1 they are great to watch, but against the more human aliens in Gantz-2 they're much more appreciated. Gantz-1 has more of a humorous undertone to it than Gantz-2 (although that turns out to be a mistake when dealing with the robot mutant, he's a badass), where Gantz-2 is much more sinister and dark. There are no glaring plot holes (save one in G-2 that I assume just got left on the editing room floor) in either piece. Plot is fluid and not plodding. The production budget is greatly increased in G-2 and it shows. The ending of Gantz/Gantz-2 as a set piece is perfect, with very little room for any attempt of a "Gantz-3 : Resurrection!!", and that makes it even more satisfying. Cast is capable and believable, even past the leads. Don't watch one without the other, you'll benefit.
Gantz (2010)
Great! Best to Binge Gantz and Gantz 2
This is a lot better than I expected, although I wish I'd known Gantz 2 was actually a sequel that was better than the original, or at least a vital part of what should have been a multi-episode mini-series. If I had watched both together I would have enjoyed much much more. I assumed it would be a light fun sci-fi popcorn movie, but it has much more depth than that in the end which makes it truly satisfying. It suffers from a dialogue issue I find with a lot of Asian import films, whereas the humor or exposition doesn't quite translate to English, but that's not really a fault so much as to be expected. It was a wise decision to use Asian actors to do the English overdubs , and the cast do an excellent job of mimicking to the tracks although clearly not speaking the vocal. The director has a clear and concise vision here, and is completely successful in finessing the photography although he really shines in Gantz 2. The action and fight scenes are a joy, with the wire-acrobatics and choreography you'd expect. Against the alien mutants in Gantz-1 they are great to watch, but against the more human aliens in Gantz-2 they're much more appreciated. Gantz-1 has more of a humorous undertone to it than Gantz-2 (although that turns out to be a mistake when dealing with the robot mutant, he's a badass), where Gantz-2 is much more sinister and dark. There are no glaring plot holes (save one in G-2 that I assume just got left on the editing room floor) in either piece. Plot is fluid and not plodding. The production budget is greatly increased in G-2 and it shows. The ending of Gantz/Gantz-2 as a set piece is perfect, with very little room for any attempt of a "Gantz-3 : Resurrection!!", and that makes it even more satisfying. Cast is capable and believable, even past the leads. Don't watch one without the other, you'll benefit.
Appleseed Alpha (2014)
Excellent addition to series, wish I'd waited for Blu-ray version
Another solid entry in the Appleseed series. Action packed with a solid story line. It is beautifully rendered and if you have the option to see on blu-ray, choose that one. The character designs are excellent (well for the main character especially). The storyline would have greatly benefited from a multi episode arc instead of being crunched down to 90 minutes, but it delivers in the end, and lets you look forward to the next in the sequence without beating you over the head with the half-assed open ending. There were so many plot points that could have been expanded into their own episodes, I would have much enjoyed further detail on the relationship with Two-Horns and Olympus, and even the backstory of the villains themselves. Solid voice acting and direction deliver the goods and the action is solid and engaging.
Vicious (2013)
Glaring Stereotypes made HILARIOUS
I wasn't sure what this was when it first popped up on PBS, and just happened to catch it one Saturday when nothing was on - and the binge began! I laughed my a** off continually thru the whole first episode. It actually reminded me of the Golden Girls without the gooey sweetness. It is truly vicious. All four stars are favorites of mine from previous projects and I couldn't believe the chemistry they pulled off. And the writing is fabulous (if I can get away with that). I have never seen Rheon in anything comical, but he is much more accomplished than I realized (he's a fave of mine from Misfits and Thrones). I will have to order the DVD to get the uncensored version, because you can tell they actually will use the grown up language appropriately. Once again, British TV trumps American TV.
All Hallows' Eve (2013)
What a Waste of a good Character
***Spoilers Ahead*** You know you're in trouble when you see 'written,directed, and produced' by the same person, but in this case Leone also grabs the editing and Special Effects slots too. The only silver lining here is Art the Clown, who is brilliantly conceived and executed by both the director and actor. He is demonically delicious and could have been the tentpole for an endless series of sequels, so bravo to Mike Gianelli. His cutscenes steal the movie, if not so much his actual section. Unfortunately, everything else Leone crafted is half- assed at best, and at worst falls back on the worse aspect of the horror genre : "I like to rape, torture and slaughter pretty young women! Cuz it's Scary Right!?!?!" Nope, it's dull and unoriginal, and I'm sorry you didn't get dates in high school Mr. Leone... Where the Art the Clown costuming/make up is concise and effective, the Scuba Alien is like something you could buy at Wal-Mart for Halloween. Where the art painting of Art is fantastic, the subway demons are unfinished and silly. I would have been more impressed that Leone crossed the horror film taboo line with the brother/sister, but the pregnant assault (for NO apparent reason to the story) and the final 'slut/whore/cu*t' carvings scene were too ludicrously misogynistic to accept seriously. This had cult potential but unfortunately is failed by not enough cooks in the kitchen.
The Hunters (2013)
Waste of Talent and Resources
Well you can't blame the failure of this film to take off on the cast, because they were a capable and experienced cast, even the younger actors. However, they are given absolutely nothing to sink their teeth into. Everything about the flick is just watered down and meandering. If this had been a Disney or Hub flick it would have worked, or even if upgraded to a full blown fantasy flick, it would have worked, but it feels completely like this is a first draft and not a full fleshed film. The script is thin with stick figure characters, clotted with toss off explanations to move the story and beyond cliché plot points (the Asian assassin was almost painful to watch). Everything it had going for it is wasted.Complete and total lack of backstory. It would have been great to know how Tripp's techie skills and Pax's fighting skills had previously reared their heads, it was screaming for some actual examples of the fairytale items in modern times, and someone with a much cleverer wit to punch up the one liners. It seems like the money ran out somewhere, but there was no going back to get a good finished product. The cast did what they could with what they had.
Devil's Due (2014)
Another nail in the Horror genre coffin
Yet another found footage clusterf*** putting the final nail into the Horror genre for movie making. While it has it's saving graces in (1) having leads that have actually been in front of a camera before (2) having experienced supporting cast that can wring a lot out a little role. Otherwise, it's the same F.F. dreck : cameras being perfectly aimed and focused even though character is being chased by death or in the most ridiculous situations like "oh, you just got stabbed in the head so let me put my phone exactly in perfect position to film this instead of dropping it to help you stop the bleeding. ", or access to public/private camera footage. The found footage gimmick was absolutely crammed onto this script which would have been a completely successful in traditional format with normal angles and MUSICAL ENHANCEMENT (another money-saving shortcut force fed to us in FF titles.) A slow plodding build with a smattering of odd events until the chaotic burst of supernatural activity at the end with the final scene of death. Clumsy and forced ad-libs and improvisation instead of a precise script. Gotcha scenes filmed in night-vision . While Devils Due is not the worst of the gimmick, it suffers from a threadbare storyline with plot holes and gotcha's you can see coming a mile away because you've seen the exact same thing 100 times by now.
+1 (2013)
Better than expected , but needs more seasoning
One extra star just for not being another found footage teen flick, this was surprisingly better than I expected. The only problem was that it seemed everything needed just one more good pass. Everything comes off as a little uneven, but I think it ends up successful. The actors are competent for their age which probably means they're all older than their characters, but some like Logan Miller's "Teddy" are muted, not given quite enough from the script. He could has sunk his teeth into a better script. The script is not quite funny enough where it needs to be, but could have been with one more pass. Not quite enough explanation is given for the cause, but the story concept actually turns out good. Most of the horror comes from the characters, especially one story line, and that serves the movie. Pacing is a problem for the film, you come out of a funny or scary scene, and then the movie hits the breaks. Too many red herrings for the script to support. I think if the director had gone through one more edit, one more script revision, and the better actors given a little more meat on their plates, this would have been great. It even had a good twist that was subtle but effective.
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)
One of the better in the series
I have grown so weary of the 'found footage' gimmick foisted upon us by Blair Witch, and compounded to death by the Paranormal series, but this is actually one of the better of the series. It's still painful to sit through horribly improv'd and adlibed scripts but the cast is not so green as make you wish one of the witches would come put you out of your misery. The absurdity of all of the instances that defy credulity of turning the camera on and keeping it aimed perfectly toward the action is of course present here, but they handle that more believably for the first part of the movie before it just becomes stupid, as always. Marked Ones follows the Paranormal template to the absolute letter, and it owes most of its' success to that. Although you can see most of the gotcha's coming a mile away, some of them are executed quite well. Unfortunately the ad campaign gave away lots of the meaty scenes, although there were still a few left over. If we can ever get a version with a cast with at least some on-camera experience, with a script that's fully conceived instead of just suggested to the actors, they might make an actual blockbuster in this franchise. This one builds on the 'mythology' much more than the others, and if they aimed toward a sequel to wrap it all up instead of absolutely beating it to death (like the Saw series) we could get one to really enjoy. Take a page from Insidious and get a REAL SCRIPT, with some REAL ACTORS, keep the inventive scares (some of the subtle pops were excellent here) and the next Paranormal could be excellent.
Hellbenders (2012)
Ribald and Raunchy Horror fun
Leave your political correctness at the door, and enjoy this raunchy and surprisingly well done horror movie. The vulgarity is 'integral to the plot' as the old saying goes. I thought it was being made as a horror comedy when it first started, and I was surprised that the cast was made up of seasoned experienced actors whom don't really appear in horror movies. Then the horror scenes began and I saw they were taking things seriously (raunchy humor aside). The scares are well done and imaginative (aside from the obviously tongue-in-cheek 'gateway' to hell), the story stays on pace when it cranks up , and it sets up for a sequel without being cheesy about it.
Bad Grandpa (2013)
Would have been better without the 'plot'.
As a fan of the old Jackass gags that didn't involve the cast members harming each others various body parts (the baby on top of the car is a classic) , I assumed the whole point of the movie was using the 'grandpa and grandson' as the gimmick to set up the unsuspecting victims. Trying to pull off an actual story-line using them was ridiculous and distracting. Some of the stunts are actually hilarious and work like a charm, some go on just a little too long, and some are just too silly to think anybody fell for it, but that's to be expected. Considering they had an actual Oscar winning screen writer involved, they really could have pulled that plot off if they wanted to make a 'real' movie out of it, combined with the stunts, but I would have preferred more stunts instead of the wasted time. All of the hard work went to the stunts.
Angel of Death (2009)
A Fun movie in need of a real lead actor
You know from the beginning this is not Quentin Tarantino nor is it trying to be , it's just a fun popcorn movie, but the main thing that ruins the movie is choosing a stunt woman as a lead actor. She just doesn't have the chops to pull this off. Even the third stringers out-act her here. She's not horrible, but she definitely can't pull off an ensemble part , and doesn't have one redeemable character trait she can use to make her character even slightly real. The movie is over the top violent and ridiculous, with a fun twist, but any other real actress would have solidified the movie. It has all the cliché elements you need for this type of flick, and good production values, but when the extra on the phone in the elevator delivers her lines better than the lead, there's a problem.
Carrie (2013)
Capable Cast let down by Director, Script & bean counters.
This is another example of where they got it right the first time and if it ain't broke don't fix it. As more remakes of Brian De Palma films creep out I am more impressed by his talents. As it started off, I had high hopes for the film because clearly the script was following the original movie (if not the book), almost as an word for word homage. The updates to bring it current seemed subtle and deft, as in the cyber- bullying, and were effective. But clearly the director started damping down the talent. While Moretz, Greer, and Henley are certainly no strangers to roles where a little scenery shredding is required to flesh out the characters effectively, they are choke-collared here. Only Greer's gym teacher has any spice at all, but unfortunately she's thrown up against leaden wooden performances that I blame squarely on the director. I couldn't wait for Moore's take versus the Piper Laurie original napalm as the mother, but she is given nothing here. They give her the same dialog but clearly pour cold water on where she's allowed to go, which is ridiculous considering the dialog itself. The mother is a lunatic, and trying to cement that with the little cutting scene at the cleaners is just plain stupid. As an multi-nominated Oscar actress, she could have blown the roof off. Moretz is not allowed to show any of the depth a horribly abused child (by her mother and classmates), and not allowed to convey any of the madness that was given in the current script. Greer's sarcastic coach and Henley's bumbling principal could have provided some desperately needed humor, but they are flattened out here although they both are trying their best. I think there's some work left on the cutting room floor that would have fleshed out their performances dramatically. And then, things begin to veer wildly off course. The director clearly didn't understand the book, and by taking liberties with the prom scene and movie ending , he didn't understand the characters. Turning Carrie into a vengeful witch wielding her power like a sledgehammer instead of a victim who has been pushed into madness and can no longer control her power ruins the whole point. Changing the fate of the gym teacher ruins the whole point, just like in Cujo. Changing the final battle scenes between the Whites including the absolutely moronic twist for Sue and the mysterious boulders out of nowhere throws the movie completely off the rails and over the shark. Top it off with a ludicrous committee investigation and cemetery scene in a limp tepid attempt for franchise potential and the movie is officially a travesty. Thumbs up to the cast, thumbs down to director and script.
The Dyatlov Pass Incident (2013)
When Will it Ever End
Yet another 'found footage' farce with inexperienced actors stumbling and fumbling as they try and fail to ad lib the non-existent script. When will we ever get past these Blair Witch wanna-be's? Even those guys didn't try to do it again. With the last Paranormal Activity sequel crash and burning at the box office, hopefully these tepid wastes of film will finally wane. Yet another ridiculous plot coupled with the complete stupidity of people perfectly lining up their cameras and phones as they run for their lives , with the requisite night vision scenes thrown in. No amount of 'suspension of disbelief' can save these, they're just excuses to make releases for a couple of million bucks without paying a writer, cinematographer or even a director of merit (Renny Harlin should be embarrassed for this mess). The Insidious movies show you can get real actors, real scripts, real direction, and real HORROR for the same money and earn massive returns. These found footage crap-fests are just laziness.
You're Next (2011)
Worst. Movie. Ever.
I wish I could actually give it negative stars. This is complete and utter nonsense. A non-existent script that the actors blindly ad-lib through, clearly making it all up as they go along. They fumble and flail worse than any of the 'found footage' junk I've waded through. The worse thing is they don't seem like it's their first time in front of a camera, but they obviously just showed of to set and were told to just wing it. There are Plot holes big enough to swallow actual Black Holes with room to spare. A story that is so cliché it's an insult to the word 'cliche'. The action is Clogged with 'gotcha' moments that don't 'getcha', and is repetitive to a fault. Even the music is off-putting. I found myself wishing somebody in a mask would break in and chop my own head off. I kept waiting thinking , it has to get better, but it actually just keeps sinking deeper into farce. Ed Wood seems like Spielberg or Scorsese compared to this director. I weep for the millions of dollars wasted here that could have funded so many other independent movies instead of this tripe.
Gallowwalkers (2012)
Action Packed popcorn movie, Solid.
There is no way to excuse all the unnecessary hate of the reviews here, this movie is an a popcorn gem. Excellent production values, no amateurs just phoning in their lines, and a director that knows how to do more with his camera than just point and shoot. I find ludicrous reviews saying 'too much blood and gore', its a HORROR movie for Pete's sake. If it's not taken from a graphic novel, it's clearly written with that tone in mind, and it succeeds. Even the dialog is delivered with what is clearly text balloons over their heads. And it's got everything you could want, zombies, monsters, explosions, magic, blood, gore, gun play, whips and chains, bloated cleavages, cowboys, freaky contacts, hangings, be-headings (in two flavors!), tornadoes, I mean come on, they even throw in the shocking twist, the precocious kid who saves the day, and the wicked one liner. Pop the popcorn, crack open a cold beverage and enjoy. The director and cinematographer squeeze every angle and vista they can out of an excellent location, effective costumes and make-up, and even the graphics are fun. Enjoy.
The Cloth (2013)
I Tried buy Couldn't make it to the end. My First FAIL.
This is the first movie I actually just ejected out of the DVD player and completely bailed on. I had hope on the first scene, which wasn't bad as far as a low budget movie goes, but it just collapsed from there. Not one single actor here has any more experience than a freshmen level drama class, and I don't necessarily mean college. And the tiny scenes with veterans Eric Roberts and Danny Trejo, who gave Oscar worthy performances by comparison, just made you see how absolutely bad the rest of the cast were. Then the amateurs are given a limp, vapid, and clichéd script desperately crammed with exposition, which again, I tried to overcome. Then the direction and editing pound the final nail in the coffin. Scenes where "actors" blow their lines and try to repeat them are left in uncut. The laptop grade CGI effects are teased but then never used. After the fight scene in the garage where all the punches and special effects were all off-screen , I cried uncle and hit eject. There's a reason the first scene is the DVD cover, its the only successful part of the movie.
The Kings of Summer (2013)
A Surprising Delight
This is the kind of movie I wish made all the box office money, because it so successfully brought so many kinds of talent to the screen. The script was a delight because just when you felt it falling into familiar cliché territory, you are whip-lashed into a one liner like Biaggio's "I said I don't know how to cry".... I can't give any more of that without spoiling, but it stopped me cold, it was hilarious. The script is filled with those bon mots, as well as just about every single line that came out of Nick Offerman's mouth. His part was deadly comical. The scenes of when the boys are in the woods as the house comes up are fantastic in the production and photography, especially the 'drumming' scene which was fantastic. I was familiar with Arias and Robinson from their TV work and they shine here given room to stretch, but Basso holds his own also. The best thing about the movie is how it segues between funny and sad without telegraphing, and how dark and intense it gets when it was so light hearted just a moment before. Definitely a re-playable offering.