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Reviews
Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022)
Stupidest movie parody bio ever
This attempt at a fake but not fake version of Weird Al's life is so cringe, I wish my suffering through it was fake. Over the top bad celebrity impressions like a really lame Hollywood Halloween Party by recognizable actors just brought that level even lower. I would have had more fun in the costume section of the Spirit store. I can tell you how many familiar faces fill the screen but just read the IMDb credits. Rainn Wilson is just awful as Dr. Demento. I know Weird Al himself was involved and he even admitted this was a made up not made up biopic but the script itself sucked with jokes that fell flat, pacing that was inconsistent and sorry, Daniel Radcliffe was terrible casting. Just a pathetic self serving ego trip. And to add insult to injury, they used all these actors that have passed Al's path yet left Judy Tenuta completely out. She was a big part of his videos and Saturday morning kid show. This was a slap in the face to her. And sadly she passed away recently. This is another reason outside of the production itself to detest this mess. This trash has made Weird Al a total embarrassment.
The Munsters (2022)
3 stars for the makeup, production design, lighting and...
... that's all that this catastrophy is worth. I knew going into this, having first seen the early on trailers, that it was doomed. Like every other version that has tried to emulate the original iconic series (and this goes for many other original series over the years they've tried to reimagine, recreate or reinvent), they've sucked (maybe with exception of the Brady Bunch movies). I don't know how many times Hollywood thinks they can duplicate a winning formula, you can't. And this mess is as successful as most of grandpa's formulas. This was more of a mockery, not an homage. I have liked Rob Zombie's early work (House of 1000 Corpses, Devil's Rejects {thanks also because of Irwin Keyes and Sid Haig}, and even Lord's of Salem to a point) but he has taken his script for the Munsters and butchered it more than Captain Spalding's chickens. And c'mon, a black werewolf? Why, because a werewolf is brown and furry? I will not reveal a total spoiler here, but the ending made things even worse, and I thought that wasn't possible. The actors not only were miscast they were basically going through the paces of the characters like they were at a karaoke Halloween Party. And the 2 original actors from the series that lent their hardly recognizable voices to audio cameos about 3 seconds long this was really an insult. Like in the vernacular of Herman, "they were so little used, they couldn't even voice their opinions." As for story, there were so many plot holes they should have spent the whole movie in the graveyard. Why was Herman so popular in Transylvania at first then just totally wasn't? And why were people on the plane coming from Transylvania scared of them when they obviously knew who they were coming their home city. Again, more plot holes not thought out. I could go on but I'm going to watch the original series to get the distaste of this film out of my psyche, or is that psycho?
I Came By (2022)
Stupidest woke movie I've seen in a long time.
What can you expect? It's Crapflix, full of pathetically stupid decision making by the most ignorant characters, and a story that, though could have been intriguing, is saddled with that perpetual stupidity. It would be a spoiler to point out the stupidity. The writer, director must really hate people to put out this crap. And the ending is the coup de gras of stupid endings. I won't spoil the ending by giving details but if you decide to undertake this film, be prepared. It is set in England of today, and the woke culture that is destroying the British Commonwealth is so evident here. As I said, though, beyond all of it is the constant stupidity that seems to permeate this new generation z as well as millennials, and it manifests in this current atmosphere of movies.
They Live Inside Us (2020)
Potential died inside us with lead actor
James Morris has to be one of the worst actors I've ever seen The one expression one big eyed look is not only annoying it's distracting from an otherwise decent gothic psychological thriller. And his voice just made it even more irritating His casting was horrendous. A gerbil has more acting ability. The girl that played Dani was good as well as the others but Morris, even playing the characters in the stories he tried to write from the house on Halloween, played them as just overdone tripes. I did like the production value (moody, well lit and shot and directed and edited), but outside of that and, as I said, the script was mostly cohesive, Morris was one step away from me turning the film off. It's also what kept me from giving it a better rating.
Echoes (2022)
Is like a vacuum
Both sucks and blows. I've never seen lamer writing and over acting. As predictable as Saturday comes after Friday. Plot holes, storyline that might have had potential but crossed the insipid line. Another Crapflix disappointment.
The Gray Man (2022)
Another Netflix miss
This had potential and the first 3/4 were involving but the ending, like just about every Netflix produced offering, spit wads. I won't spoiler it but like a vacuum cleaner it both sucks and blows. And Chris Evans isn't just an ahole in person, he perfectly fit the character he played here. So it wasn't acting, it was Evans being himself. He's a one note over actor and that note is off key. I do commend Ryan, Ana, Billy Bob and Alfre and Julia for their consistently coherent and engaging acting but as I said, Chris Evans is a jerk on and off camera and his part here illustrated it perfectly.
Resident Evil (2022)
This isn't Resident Evil, it's Resident Trash
Another woke, equity trash from Netflix. Of course the leads have to be black and brown but that's not the only thing about this that stands out. It's the horrible writing, plot holes, ridiculous overused time jumping to tell the back story trope, bleeding heart left wing equity climate change obnoxious characters, cringing dialogue and.. I could go on but judging by the other reviews, especially from other original Resident Evil fans like myself this is like a vacuum cleaner, it both sucks and blows.
Malnazidos (2020)
This was better left dead
Zombie films only work when the script works. That means story, dialogue, action. This film is the living dead, not the zombies. This translation of the Spanish original is so awful and cringing I was hoping the zombies would end it by the second act If indeed this dialogue was close in translation to the original, then that writer needs to write bad greeting cards with bad one liners. He'd be better suited. As for the characters, every woke trope and stereotype is included to blatant effect. Muslim, gay, fascist, Republican, SS, communist.. it's all included in a preposterous setting of the Spanish Civil War. Major disappointment (and that should be one of the soldier's name... It fits them). The only thing I will give merit to is the setting and the essence of what could have been a good zombie story if not for all this horrible dialogue and characters.
The Man from Toronto (2022)
Staying out of Toronto
Few moments of this movie were cohesive but for the most part this train wreck (spoiler) went off the rails with a stupid ending as dumb as any of Teddy's stupid ideas. Nothing like an ending to kill the movie more than the hit men. How can a gym full of fighters and boxers run away from a bunch of stereotypes fighting Woody and Kevin. That man from Miami character was pathetic and that actor should go back to his steroids. The plot holes were so frequent I'd rather you just watch them for yourself. I hate coming out from a movie feeling worse than when I went into it. That line about the kid in Minnesota and the rampage... They should have stopped when they had the chance. Too many people in Hollywood these days think they're funny. They're not. I like Woody but this script both blew and sucked.
The Humanity Bureau (2017)
Had potential but ruined by script
I wanted to like this and it had some potential with a mashup of Logan's Run, Soylent Green and a post apocalyptic storyline, but it was laden with some pretty lame, eye rolling dialogue, plot holes and a ridiculous climax that made no sense especially how the bad guys were so easily able to trap Nicholas Cage and Sarah Lind at the border. That and a rushed death of Cage and Lind's character was such a lazy trope. With the proper script it could have been memorable. It's sad how Hollywood has no clue what a good script is anymore.
The Manor (2021)
Stay away from "the Manor."
I started to like this movie as it progressed, with some gothic, psychological and paranoid elements, only to be pissed off at the horrible, lame ending. Another example of how a whole movie can suck when the climax makes you want to throw the remote at the TV. The ending made me want to "dance" out of the room and take a crap. Sorry Barbara, you're a good actress and held your own, but I hope they shot a better ending that just wasn't used but I doubt that. What a huge, witchy disappointment.
Dead Again in Tombstone (2017)
Wow. Another movie that sucks and blows
It's unfathomable that these kind of horribly cringeworthy movies get made. Eye rolling, vomit induced writing, dialogue that even Helen Keller would detest, overused slow motion tropes, directing out of bad westerns 101, the continuity of a passing lane's yellow broken lines and for the most part, wasted actors (meaning they were probably wasted when they signed on to this). The first Dead Again chapter that this sequel follows wasn't that much better but at least it didn't make me want to go to the bathroom as much as this turd. Everyone thinks they're a screenwriter, everyone thinks because they've gone to a film class that they can make a good movie. Well, anyone can break eggs, but not anyone can cook them to where you want to eat them. Another Netflix acquired trash. They should have called it Brain Dead Again in Hit in the Headstones. Oh, and the title? It doesn't even take place in Tombstone. Figure that one out. And don't forget to throw in some living dead, who don't really make much effort, a Madame trying hard to be like Doc Holiday's bitch and other tropes stirred in, including a buffalo for like a minute, (I guess figuring they needed something for Danny Trejo to ride into town on when his horse is blown up), never running out of bullets guns and rifles that miss their close range targets more than Stevie Wonder would, some sort of doctor who may be an angel inserted in an attempt to create redemption, and more plot points than at a cemetery. I don't what made me sicker, the money they spent to make it, or that I watched it.
Art of the Dead (2019)
Another horribly written and directed movie from a low budget hack
When someone like a director who just makes spittle like this to watch girls get naked because he can't score on his own, you know it's going to be bad. From his first movie where he talks about how a horror movie is made to blaming Scream for stealing his idea (which by the way, the concept was not invented by you) the irony is that you are stealing from every trope but doing it badly, like a really bad cover band. But then I guess all he wants to do is continue to vomit out these things.
Red Notice (2021)
Pathetic tripe
Smug, typical elitest attempt at being cool but another example of Hollywood self centered ego. Over acted but phony with more arrogant unfunny dialogue.
Ojing-eo geim (2021)
Overhyped and disappointing
I wanted to like this. I love Asian film and TV from most of their countries, and this entry started interesting enough but even some of the initial elements forbode what my instincts told me would be a lame ending, thus maintaining the "we don't care what we put out" tradition of crappy Netflix fare. 9 hours to a horrible disappointing payoff. It started to go off the rails and become a self righteous preachy mess around episode 4. I won't give away the ending but I warned you, though I'm sure the lemmings who follow anything will applaud it.
Massacre Academy (2021)
Fun late night throwback
I had no high expectations going into this film having seen a recent glut of poorly written, low budget schlock, and big budget, horribly written crap on Netflix but I was pleasantly surprised by this homage to 80s slasher, further evidenced by setting the film in 1987. Without giving away the plot and twist, I can say the acting and directing for the most part were better than expected and the script was generally cohesive. For a slasher genre film I enjoyed it and would recommend it. Even Felissa Rose's cameo, channeling a Joan Rivers/Judge Judy mashup, was fun.
Bingo Hell (2021)
Nonsensical, pathetically preachy
Full of story holes, this effort started with an interesting premise but descended into inner city eye rolling tropes with ridiculous character actions and a preachy, convenient forced ending of "give me a break." The writer and director obviously just wanted stereotypes in one place decidedly to combat evil and greed incarnate but what transpired is a big filmed disappointment and an ending speech that really has no logical connection to the action other than to incite woke emotion. Cohesion and story were sadly lacking. Was hoping for more than what I witnessed.
Brand New Cherry Flavor (2021)
Why is always the ending that sucks?!
You get through the entire binge watch, thinking how you are enjoying it... until a predictable, sell out, lazy ending changes the whole energy and perspective leaving a horrible and disappointing taste in your mouth. This is a perfect example of that. 4 stars for everything that came before.
The Seventh Day (2021)
The power to ruin a movie compels you
I have no words as this trainwreck of bad acting and script leaves me speechless.
Aftermath (2021)
The only Aftermath is the one that I suffered watching this
So bad CW in style: mind numbing, cliched and smug with a script of cringing dialogue, visuals that remind me of a real estate commercial and acting so phoned in it needs an unlisted number. I usually like Britt Baron and Shawn Ashmore but this can't be saved by anyone.
Day of the Dead: Bloodline (2017)
How to write a pathetically bad zombie film 101
Even stupid survivors in other bad zombie movies make better decisions and say less cringing things than they do in this insipid attempt. Like the state of society, which is filling up with real zombies, the fact that scripts like this get made proves how dumb films and those who produce them have come.
Cosmic Sin (2021)
3 words... cringe, cringe, cringe...
Ok. That's one word repeated 3 times. But it's still better than this excuse for a movie. The script was written by monkeys who saw other bad sci-fi's and the producers got a desperate Bruce Willis to agree to star in it thanks to a Netflix paycheck (it's become like the democrats feeding money to people to keep them compliant, and like this movie they don't work either). At least Mandylor suffered an early exit. The biggest "sin" is this is what is getting funded. That and I forced myself to watch the whole thing so I can leave a verified viewer review.
Awake (2021)
Netflix movies get worse and worse....
It's abominable the crap getting greenlit. Stupid, cringing dialogue, plot holes deeper than the country's infrastructure, convoluted story with no justified narrative and mediocre acting. A waste of Jennifer Jason Leigh. Like many others have reviewed, staying awake to watch this to the end was harder than the characters trying to sleep.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Worst written zombie movie or any action movie for that matter ever written.
Another Netflix piece of crap with cringe worthy dialogue and characters you are really happy about when they become zombie bait. Also another leftist slanted tripe infiltrated with arrogant smug stereotypes. Could have been so much better but Snyder ruined it. Also, the pathetic editing, especially in the opening sequence and credits, makes me conclude that this movie should have stayed in Vegas.
Vivarium (2019)
Self serving in your face pretention.
This garbage is simply an attempt to let the viewer see how smart and esoteric and concept interpretive the filmmakers are when in actuality all it illustrates is how arrogant and egotistical they are thinking they pulled off something to blow the minds of we viewers. You failed. We're not that stupid. The payoff, analogy, and lack of any finality of story blows up in your faces from an explosion of obviousness. Sorry, you're no David Lynches. And use of the title as a story clue just didn't fullfil its intention. I only gave a 2 star rating for the acting of the leads.