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Mystic Christmas (2023 TV Movie)
5/10
Fine but hypocritical
29 November 2023
Overall, I thought the storyline was fine. It was very slightly different from the usual hallmark set ups.

It was nice that the leads had social anxiety, though I don't always know that it was played true. For example, would a socially anxious person willingly draw attention to themselves at a costume-optional event by coming in costume?

I also thought the mother was contributing to her problems. If a daughter calls looking for advice, I don't think it's healthy that the only advice that is offered is to not give up what you want for another person (I'm paraphrasing here, but that was the gist.). Sometimes what someone wants is that other person and deciding to want that doesn't always mean they're giving up everything. Her situation, as she points out, is not just about a guy. It's about her friends, her interns, and the offer of a great job doing what she loved and her mother should have heard all of those pieces before giving her any advice. I thought her father's advice was much healthier - figure out what it is that your gut/heart is telling you. What I liked about this storyline, however, is that it differed from the usual storyline of girl goes to some town, meets guy, falls in love in 5 days, and decides to give up a successful career in the city to stay with small town man not knowing whether they're compatible, where she'd live, or what she'd do for a living. That is a toxic message, the one in this movie wasn't.

Lastly, the thing that bothered me the most is that a big message of the movie is that seals shouldn't be kept in captivity and that humans ruin everything for seals but the movie delivered this message by using multiple captive seals that had been highly trained to do tricks for human enjoyment.
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A Royal Christmas Crush (2023 TV Movie)
1/10
Waste of time
4 November 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This was such a horrific waste of time that I had to come here to review it in the hopes of keeping even just one person from not sitting through this torture.

I'll begin with the good parts:
  • the ice castle was beautiful
  • Ava's (Katie Cassidy) dress at the ball was pretty
  • the paparazzo has a decent set of morals by not running with the 'scoop' Brigitta gave him about Ava's fraudulent ex fiancé.


And now for the bad:
  • the king (Simon Phillips, age 43) and queen (Pip Dwyer, age not listed but probably late 30's or early 40's based on IMDb credits) were woefully miscast, as they are about the same age - if not younger - than the prince (Stephen Huszar, age 39).


  • following up on the miscasting, Angela Besharaha who played Brigitta, the mother who's trying to get her daughter fixed up with the prince, is 45 years old, and Kathryn Kohut, who plays her daughter Sigrid, is about 30. Not as insane as the royal family but still unlikely.


  • the accents were terrible. Why on earth were the royals sometimes speaking with a British accent (sometimes an American one, and occasionally something unrecognizable) if they're supposed to be Nordic?


  • the idea that the king and queen would invite their hired help to have a formal dinner with them is totally unbelievable. Note, the reason for this dinner was because Brigitta and the queen were trying to push their daughter (Sigrid) and son (the prince), respectively, to get together. They made some comment about how Brigitta is hired help for the royal family (Director of Operations for the royal family) but used to have some familial claim to royalty back in the day, I guess to make it not so strang but it still was... the butler was also sitting down to dine with them.


  • the royals are supposed to be staying at an ice palace that they hire someone to create for them every year. But yet they're almost never there. They have that dinner in some tiny wood-paneled room.


  • Brigitta, the conniving villain who is doing anything necessary to get her daughter to marry the prince so their family can restore their place as royals, which includes digging up dirt on Ava and leaking it to the paparazzi before fact checking anything, suddenly becomes Ava's biggest advocate in the last 90 seconds of the movie.


-Ava takes off on a commercial flight, changes her mind that she doesn't want to leave this fake country, and is able to have the commercial plane turn around to land back in the fake country so she can reunite with the prince at the ball.

  • there is one single paparazzo and he can get close enough to touch and have a conversation with the prince and Ava after they get out of the hot tub and at the royal ball!! Are there no security personnel?


  • everything works out perfectly in the last minute that now the parents want their son to be with Ava instead of Sigrid, Brigitta has no hard feelings about Ava winning the prince's affections, even apologizing, saying that Ava's perfect for him, and giving Ava a dress to wear to the ball, and the butler, who gave Brigitta the hot gossip on Ava, apologizing and picking up Ava from the airport so she could get to the ball in time.


I fully realize that you must be willing to suspend your disbelief quite a bit when watching a hallmark movie, but this one must've thought the audience were complete idiots and we'd all just wipe these glaring problems under the rug.
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2/10
The stars are for the dogs, cat, and alpacas
25 July 2023
The movie was needlessly depressing.

I understand setting the stage with the problems of a married couple that stopped making time for one another, but it got tiring repeatedly watching them get in their own way and make mountains out of molehills.

Regardless, the leads lacked chemistry, which made it difficult to believe they were ever a couple.

Everyone else was very quirky, which was cute in the beginning but became grating over time.

All of the animals were very cute and made the movie palatable.

Like all Hallmark Christmas movies, it was clearly not filmed in winter.

The opening was chaotic and confusing, which didn't help to set up the story.
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Christmas in Paradise (2007 TV Movie)
2/10
Annoying cinematography
29 October 2022
The plot is fine enough. The kids play stereotyped roles: the acerbic teen, the do-gooder, the extreme introvert, and the social butterfly. The acting is pretty decent. The parents are seasoned, respectable actors... All things considered, the movie is fine - it's a lifetime Christmas movie, what can you expect? But the cinematography is awful. There are way too many split-screen transitions. It's like the person putting this together just discovered this type of transition and thinks it works for everything and then someone came in and talked them down from using it to switch between EVERY shot to just 90% of them.
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A Whirlwind Wedding (2021 TV Movie)
3/10
We're the mom and future step-dad weirdly distant?
22 July 2022
It seems like the two actors playing the mom and future step-dad didn't get along or were repulsed by one another or something... it was weird how little they touched one another for playing a couple that was supposed to marry. And, at the ceremony, they were about 4 feet away from one another the entire ceremony and he never 'kissed the bride'. It was super weird. Add to that weirdness was the awkward dialogue and the fact that for some reason the daughter didn't want to tell the caterer about the break up because she 'doesn't want to complicate things'. Her actions were the very definition of complicated. It's hard to be a fan of this movie.
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