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DMTSoup (2014)
People doing drugs. The end.
Not worth seeing.
It's pretty amateur camera work (most of the effects you can find on your smart phone), poor acting, virtually no plot, a bunch of clichés about life and drug users and a mysterious figure who looks like he probably got dressed at a $0.99 Halloween sale. All in all it makes very little sense and ends up nowhere.
Clearly this has been over-hyped by whoever made it. Look at one of the previous reviews. It's obvious that it's not written by someone who is genuinely reviewing it, but as someone who's trying to sell it.
Shame on you, you shameless self promoting tools.
Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie (2014)
Cheesiest film I have seen in recent years...
I would recommend this if you literally have nothing better to do.
I found myself cringing, not because the film was funny but because the acting was so bad and a lot of it was based on worn out nerd stereotypes (among others like stereotypes of military personnel and hot girls). Sometimes you can appreciate that it has been made that way on purpose for comedy value (like Knights of Badassdom) but this was just awful.
In conclusion, if you're the kind of person who likes the kind of poor acting displayed by Keenan and Kel in Good Burger then you will probably like this. If you're a normal person however, avoid this like the plague.
They Came Together (2014)
Really not sure what to make of this...
I'm giving this a solid 5 (6 at a stretch) because I have about as much good to say as I do bad. Equally, I can appreciate that there are some people which would find this Sahara dry humour enjoyable but others (like me) not so much.
Throughout the film I was unsure whether I was watching a rom-com or a spoof like scary movie. It definitely scored points in both categories but never achieved greatness in either.
The acting was pretty good. Both Mark and Amy (and a string of lesser but still good actors) did a decent job of the lines they were given. I still picture Amy in Parks and Recs so it's hard to watch her do something even more ridiculous.
The writing was very strange... it was quirky at points and I quite enjoyed it. But there were a few jokes that they tried to extend too far (to Family Guy proportions without the same success), a lot of low brow humour (toilet humour included) and parts where I couldn't help but physically cringe.
As I said - some people will like this and others wont. It's your standard marmite scenario.
OXV: The Manual (2013)
An imperfect masterpiece:
This truly could have been an amazing film deserving of much more than a tepid-warm 7/10.
At first you get the feeling that you're going to watch a love story unravel... but this slowly shifts between romance, science fiction and thriller at points. I barely noticed the transition myself... much in the way that District 9 morphs from a documentary into a science fiction tale seamlessly. They balanced each with precision so you don't know quite what you're watching at any given moment.
This film tries to convey many different concepts and fringe concepts ranging from physics to philosophy... but does not appropriate them convincingly or with clarity. I fully understood what it was trying to do and say... but it had tried to make the web of intrigue too intricate. It had many holes and unexplained loose ends which towards the middle made it unbelievable and pretentious. You know what they say - the more complex something is... the more chance there is of something going wrong. That applies with anything from technology to relationships (or storytelling in this case).
The merit of this film mainly lies in it's simpler plot points, the acting and direction.
If you're one of those people who doesn't believe that even fiction has to be believable (to some extent) to be enjoyable or you simply just don't understand what the concept of OXV is... then this is your film.
3 Days to Kill (2014)
Okay!
I'm going to give this at least a seven because I really appreciate when very serious films can incorporate comedy without losing atmosphere.
SPOILERS: Two points in particular - one when he's having the facial hair argument with his female employer standing around a room full of dead men. The other when he has the dude tied up in the trunk.
As other people may have stated there are a few clichés in this film but I was willing to over look them in light of it's many good attributes.
It's an entertaining watch to say the least.
God's Not Dead (2014)
I watched this just to see how Christians picture the rest of us...
When I saw this I felt like I should punish whoever made it like I do with my dog if she sh**s somewhere she's not supposed to. I lead her by her collar to the offending s**t and say in an angry voice "LOOK. LOOK WHAT YOU DID. BAD DOG!".
If you're religious then you'll probably enjoy this. But for the sake of not generalizing... I see there are some sensible Christians too who see the issues. The rest of you can now keep smiling vacantly and humming Kumbaya.
You might also enjoy this if...you're mind numbingly stupid, you have suffered brain damage, you're parents are related by blood, you thought "The tree of Life" is a deep and meaningful film with a solid plot, you have way too many chromosomes, you're deaf and blind, you think Kevin Bacon and Christian Slater are good actors, you watch things like "Made in Chelsea" or "Keeping up with the Kardashians"...
I could go on.
Kid Cannabis (2014)
Waste of time
It'd be nice if someone could make some stoner films that aren't filled with clichés/rip offs/stereotypes.
Someone wrote in a review that it was like the wolf of wall street but for bud... they're right. But it's not a good thing, you can see what they have imitated very clearly. The weird cop who stops them is a rip off from Super Troopers (he says meow before he walks back to his car for no reason - the game in super troopers). They also casually enforce really bad stoner stereotypes which are the source of the stigma behind smoking cannabis. I could go on.
The characters don't feel real. None of them have charisma and I feel like I'm hearing a story from the one kid at school who lies and exaggerates to sound cool and I can't wait for it to be over. I know it's based on true events but it's clearly heavily dramatized and badly written.
The only redeeming feature of this film is a couple of famous names I didn't expect to see in such a shocker and some technical knowledge. Emphasis on some.
Top ten worst stoner movies.
You're Next (2011)
I'm calling bullshit!
Ever since the saw films I think horror fans have been fooled into thinking sensationalism makes a film. A few scenes of people with various utensils getting stuck in them doesn't make a horror. Excessive (poorly made, fake) blood doesn't make a horror. If you want to see that kind of thing then go and sit in an A&E waiting room at your local hospital (it'll probably look more real and make you realize what a waste of time it is).
Was anyone actually frightened at any point in this film? I can't think of a single point where it had my full attention. Yeah yeah fair enough about the twist. It was there but it wasn't spectacular. I'm sure I've seen the whole "kills own family to inherit money" bid many times before.
What happened to psychological horror?
What happened to making people jump out of their skin?
The only thing that I thought was okay about this film was the soundtrack - and it didn't really suit the film itself. I felt like I was watching drive/clockwork orange at different points when I lost concentration and looked away from the screen.
To the people who wrote positive reviews:
Please watch some GOOD horrors and stop perpetuating the "saw film fallacy" otherwise things can only go downhill from here!
5 Souls (2013)
What did I just watch?
So the films starts with a little bit of back story about the main characters. These are mostly uninteresting clichés (e.g. bad ass ex-cop with a past out for revenge). Also a few brief clips, news reports etc to explain the disaster all the events are tied to.
The "disgraced architect" then meets two characters which, from the get go, clearly represent good and evil. It's not mystified whatsoever. The good character is passive, blind, and talks like a nun (also has tacky eye glitter, which I think is meant to make her look angelic?) and the evil character reveals himself with some pretty mild comments about having been an angel "once upon a time" and a little poltergeist act. Doesn't take a genius to work out who he is in short time.
The main premise is that the disgraced architect has to kill 5 people designated by the evil character to get his life back. These people who he kills then come back in poor zombie make up to show him what it feels like to be them (which made me think there would be a karma type theme). The good character tries to stop him from doing these things rather gingerly and unconvincingly.
At no point in the film did I relate or feel sorry for the disgraced architect, even though it seemed he was the main character. He was given loads of chances for the viewer to like him but he turned out to be a tool. In the end he chooses the path which we are lead to believe is evil and it appears that rather than "living in darkness" he gets off Scott free and continues the evil characters legacy of killing folks by killing the evil character.
I'm sure that most of the concepts in this made sense in someone's head but it's a bit unclear on film. I felt like the characters were pieced together from 80s films. And overall it felt incomplete because the disgraced architect got away with everything with little to no sign of any consequence (which ruined the whole good and bad contrast and the karma theme).
If you're looking for something to kill time then this will just about keep your attention. Don't expect some grand philosophical works or a horror. It is neither.
Emergo (2011)
The previous guy who reviewed this has no idea about film.
I'll answer his questions first to clear things up:
1. Camera effects are used for atmosphere and because it's low budget. There's no story based reason for this. You may notice that the cameras in the film are part of the film... thought that would be the hint. 2. Four year old kids come in all shapes, sizes and mindsets. I bet I wouldn't have to reach the end of my road to find a kid who's not scared of something he/she doesn't understand - they don't get why they should be scared. 3. The family probably doesn't move away because (as stated in the film) they moved once and discovered the problems follow them wherever they go.
I would never watch a film with "c_ozcn_1290" I'd end up taping his mouth for being a film snob/douche.
Anyway... back to the review.
Has to be said this is a bang on average horror film and doesn't do anything new for the story based footage genre.
It has some jumpy moments akin to those in the sixth sense but isn't psychologically scary.
There's some technical info slipped into the plot here and there if you're a real ghost fan.
All in all it's worth a watch, just don't expect to be hiding behind the sofa, where this horror lacks in horror it makes up for in depth of characters and plot.