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jasonjdrake
Reviews
Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023)
Jaw droppingly terrible
Right. I know lots of people like Luther. I know it's think it's a smart show, but let's agree it's just very silly.
This movie had some good creepy moments and style, but dear lord was it a bag of nonsense.
So many illogical moments, so many things that made no sense that we laughed and spluttered and shook our heads.
This whole movie was Idris Elba's James Bond wet dream, either as last hope he will be picked for 007 or an F&@£ you to those producers. They stole 007 movie moments! This whole thing was embarrassing.
One saving grace as Andy Serkis, who always gives his all and is a treasure.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Lazy
What to say here. If you are a slasher film groupie and shout 'hell yeah!' at any gore you see on screen, fill yer boots as they say.
If you have any working cells that allow you to consider basic logic, maybe not a film for you. A movie so frustrating in its laziness. So inept in its scenarios that it leaves you open mouth that functioning adults made this. No horror cliche is missed, not one person in the whole story has any basic sense. Not horror-sense of hyper awareness... just sense. So they become fodder for the gore king. Characterisation isn't simply telling us who they are one by one. That's child story book levels. From the decision to walk towards a car face on with Mr Myers at the wheel, to filling a bag with bricks as a weapon (how does she even lift that?)and then the oddness of everyone being so slow to react at any point... then to make a pretty idiotic decisions. It's an editing mess even aside from the plot and characterisation.
For anyone to consider any form of double tap? Lazy lazy lazy. Fine if you are a 14 yr old and that's insulting to teenagers.
From Hell (2001)
The drama of walking past a butchers shop window
I rewatched this today. It's appalling. Wooden acting, nonsense plotting, too long and soap opera directing. Depp shows how poor an actor he is, with the disconnected accent never heard in the UK and the emotional range of a Ken doll. I committed to the end. My payoff being the knowledge I'd never have to watch this again. What a waste of talent (aside from Depp).
Malignant (2021)
Were the good reviews written whilst high?
One of the worst movies I've seen. The first 3 minutes in and this was so badly acted I thought it would pull back in an ironic way to show how bad a TV movie could be... but no. This is that bad.
Every bear trap of a horror movie cliche heavily stepped in. No originality in any aspect of this piece. As the credits rolled we turned to each other and in unison "what a load of.."
Avoid. It will give you nothing back. It will use your time and money and you will be emptier for it.
Above Suspicion (2009)
Jaw droppingly bad
I don't know where to start. The illogical plot? The complete disregard for internal logic? The ignorance or wilful ignoring of any form of police procedure or normal investigation? The fantastical nature of each and every cliche?
I could go on, but as I wished the episodes wouldn't, I won't.
This is an embarrassment to crime dramas. To enjoy this is to find solace in the only two synapses you have rubbing together.
Watch Charlie Brooker's great crime show spoof Touch of Cloth instead, it had more logic.
We pushed on through three episodes believing it not able to get worse, but it steadily did.
La Plante seems happy with it as she has threatened over the years for more seasons.
It made me and my girlfriend angry by the end of it.
Don't make our mistake
Midsommar (2019)
Sub-par Wicker Man
This film has been done so so many times. Over long, no surprises, dull lifeless direction.
Wicker Man was an antique hand carved dresser, this is an IKEA shelf.
This should be looked at alongside Mother! and Hereditary. 1970s styled psychological horror for those who think Snapchat not loading is the worst thing to happen.
Avoid. I wish I had.
Hobson's Choice (1954)
A modern old love story
I watched this as a teen and loved the slight, quirky, dare I say almost post-modern love story. A strong female lead of a strong female character, a male lead who develops through the film; for 1954 this seems extraordinary. A movie hiding it's modern thinking behind the ridiculousness of Charles Laughton's drunk character (marvellous as it is).
An unconventional love story, no smaltz, just a swelling feeling between the (past) young couple that has its roots in working class northern understatement. Without bombast, or fanfare. Just a coming to know love of one another.
A lovely movie on differing levels.
As a point of disclosure, I live spot on where the movie is based and was (mostly) filmed. Moved here without realising that I would see what my 15 yr self had watched way back when. I love the movie and area ever more for that.
Cabin Fever (2016)
If I was able to use a minus score
It wasted 90mins of my time, I won't waste yours pull this awful movie apart