Bad dialogue, out of focus shots, and ridiculous acting are the best things going for this "movie". It goes downhill from there.
Reviews
17 Reviews
Those Who Wish Me Dead
(2021)
A Decent Heistsaster Film
15 May 2021
What is a Heistsaster?
1. A disaster is happening (this does not have to be natural) 2. A crime is happening at the same time as the disaster (this does not have to an actual heist) 3. A protagonist(s) try to stop the crime.
1. A disaster is happening (this does not have to be natural) 2. A crime is happening at the same time as the disaster (this does not have to an actual heist) 3. A protagonist(s) try to stop the crime.
Spiral
(2021)
Good Games, Paint By Numbers Story
14 May 2021
Lets face it, the only reason you're going to see this movie is for the elaborate deaths and games. For that, I could recommend this movie, but only that. I mean the acting is bad and there are some very enjoyable moments between mostly forgettable characters but where this movie really falls apart is the story and execution of it.
If you watch enough movies of any genre you can start to see patterns when not so talented writers or filmmakers are behind the scenes because they use "tropes". I won't spoil it here but the way a particular character is introduced screams of predictability. And then about half way through the movie another moment happens for the same character and it also screams of predictability and the movie just flops it down by the end like it's supposed to be from out of nowhere.
If you watch enough movies of any genre you can start to see patterns when not so talented writers or filmmakers are behind the scenes because they use "tropes". I won't spoil it here but the way a particular character is introduced screams of predictability. And then about half way through the movie another moment happens for the same character and it also screams of predictability and the movie just flops it down by the end like it's supposed to be from out of nowhere.
The Neptune Factor
(1973)
Movie: 3/10 - Blu Ray 9/10
20 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I was somewhat enjoying the movie, nothing great but a lazy day kind of a watch, until I realized I had been watching it for an hour and nothing had happened. Expecting a Journey To The Center Of The Earth or At The Earth's Core kind of a film, it takes 110 minutes before it gets to those kind of things.
On a positive note, the Blu Ray has an amazing picture and sound quality. Kudos to Kino Lorber!!
On a positive note, the Blu Ray has an amazing picture and sound quality. Kudos to Kino Lorber!!
Shivers
(1975)
A Man Spends 30 Seconds Nibbling On A Pickle
22 September 2020
There is a lot of nothing in this movie. A lot of points where people just stand, talking about nothing that pertains to any part of the story until there are just exposition dumps. The parasites seem to effect different people differently and it's unclear how or when certain people got it yet they seem to be the major players.
Ending is sort of good though.
Ending is sort of good though.
Tenet
(2020)
It's The Movie We Got, Not The One We Deserve
2 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I won't deny this movie looks great for the most part and has a great story to tell, but unfortunately it ends up being an unfollowable mess. I say it's unfollowable not because the main story here is hard to understand, it was actually quite easy (and even a bit predictable for the most part for me) when you can actually hear and follow the dialogue.
Sometimes I feel like a scene was cut that sets up a character's dialogue but we still get the conversation that doesn't seem to matter, yet it seems to matter. Like when two characters are talking about a painting and how it's a fake and her husband knows it's a fake and is using it to hold over her. For what? What is he holding it over her for? This is never explained especially considering he's already using their son to keep her in line.
I've seen people suggest that you need to see this movie twice and one person suggest subtitles to truly enjoy it. It can't be that good of a movie if you can't follow it while you're watching it, is it?
Is it different? Yes. Is it great. No, but I look forward to seeing what Nolan gives us next.
Sometimes I feel like a scene was cut that sets up a character's dialogue but we still get the conversation that doesn't seem to matter, yet it seems to matter. Like when two characters are talking about a painting and how it's a fake and her husband knows it's a fake and is using it to hold over her. For what? What is he holding it over her for? This is never explained especially considering he's already using their son to keep her in line.
I've seen people suggest that you need to see this movie twice and one person suggest subtitles to truly enjoy it. It can't be that good of a movie if you can't follow it while you're watching it, is it?
Is it different? Yes. Is it great. No, but I look forward to seeing what Nolan gives us next.
Immortal
(2004)
Is This An Unfinished Movie?
25 August 2020
The CGI seems so unfinished it reminds me of two things: Neo vs Agent Smiths from Matrix: Reloaded & the unfinished movie A Sound Of Thunder (2005) that while it had a decent story and cast, had unfinished CGI that was overused.
I don't see how the filmmakers could have been happy with the outcome.
I don't see how the filmmakers could have been happy with the outcome.
Force of Nature
(2020)
It's Like Die Hard, In a 6 Story Condo.
22 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
It starts off decent enough if completely unoriginal. The story goes absolutely nowhere and nearly every decision every character makes is stupid and lazy. One moment people are running for the their lives and getting shot at, the next they're laughing about some crazy lady that has nothing to do with the movie.
I'm not sure if anybody besides Mel Gibson can actually act.
I'm not sure if anybody besides Mel Gibson can actually act.
Trauma Center
(2019)
I Mean . . . Come On
6 February 2020
I wouldn't be surprised if this was written by ten year olds. Characters either know way too much or are complete idiots. The acting is most likely "first take" material since the budget probably didn't allow for multiple takes. The setting is Puerto Rico, for some reason, and yet it's not until halfway through the movie that anyone shows up that would make you think it's not Los Angeles or some other American town. It was like the setting was an after thought when the movie was finished.
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil
(2019)
Almost Great
30 October 2019
Warning: Spoilers
It's probably nitpicking but I could have found this movie as one of the best movies of the year if it wasn't for the obvious predictable storytelling that could have been made less predictable with the exclusion of one scene.
That scene being the Queen walking through her secret dungeon and all the revelations it provides way too early. If it wasn't for this scene the rest of the movie would play out somewhat mysteriously until things are slowly peeled back instead of spending most of the movie already knowing everything.
But the cast is good and I did enjoy the story. I just wish the filmmakers would have shown some restraint.
That scene being the Queen walking through her secret dungeon and all the revelations it provides way too early. If it wasn't for this scene the rest of the movie would play out somewhat mysteriously until things are slowly peeled back instead of spending most of the movie already knowing everything.
But the cast is good and I did enjoy the story. I just wish the filmmakers would have shown some restraint.
X-Men: Dark Phoenix
(2019)
An Xtra Mediocre Film
10 September 2019
It's not all bad. There are some decent elements buried under an unenthusiastic cast and rushed story. Much like Apocalypse, this should have been split into multiple films because hardly any event carries enough emotional weight to it. There's little to no time for anyone's actions to matter before they jump to the next scene.
The franchise ends on a sad far cry from where it started twenty years ago. That's the real shame.
The franchise ends on a sad far cry from where it started twenty years ago. That's the real shame.
Morning Glory
(2010)
Man, Those Are Some Big Goldfish
6 June 2019
This isn't the movie you're thinking it is, or at least it wasn't what I thought it was. It seemed to be a basic romcom but the rom is barely a part of the story. And best yet, the movie that it is is actually really good.
How To Spoil Your Movie By Just The Title Alone
4 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Much like Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice (among a few other films) the title alone gives most of the movie away and almost irrelevant to sit through. Considering how the plot revolves around which Titan is the Alpha, something you can see in the trailers, several of the plot points are utterly wasted since you already know how it's all going down.
That said, there is an entertaining aspect to it but only when the Titans are on screen. The human stories are lackluster and down right stupid when you stop and think about them for a moment.
It's better than your average Godzilla movie but . . .
That said, there is an entertaining aspect to it but only when the Titans are on screen. The human stories are lackluster and down right stupid when you stop and think about them for a moment.
It's better than your average Godzilla movie but . . .
Kin
(I) (2018)
Can a great ending make up for a lackluster film?
3 January 2019
You would expect a movie about a kid finding a futuristic gun would be exciting but it takes so long and it is so slow to get to the point where the gun even matters. The fact that half the film is not about the gun does not automatically make it bad, but the little story there is is quickly used up and then there's about half an hour of absolutely needless filler.
The ending however is where this movie shines and I dare say you should just skip right to the last half hour. It's a lot more creative than the previous hour that attempts to build it up.
The ending however is where this movie shines and I dare say you should just skip right to the last half hour. It's a lot more creative than the previous hour that attempts to build it up.
Shin Godzilla
(2016)
Another Kaiju-less Kaiju film
3 August 2017
Do you really want a disaster movie that spends more time showing people in meetings and explaining what hallway they're in then actually showing the monster that is in the title?
Do you want the names of characters talking to be up on the screen explaining who the person is only for that person to disappear after just a few lines?
Did you enjoy how The Phantom Menace spent so much time on Trade Embargoes?
Do you like how the Transformers movie spend more time on the humans then on the Transformers?
If you said yes, then this is the movie for you.
Do you want the names of characters talking to be up on the screen explaining who the person is only for that person to disappear after just a few lines?
Did you enjoy how The Phantom Menace spent so much time on Trade Embargoes?
Do you like how the Transformers movie spend more time on the humans then on the Transformers?
If you said yes, then this is the movie for you.
Underworld: Blood Wars
(2016)
Underworld: Cliché Wars
23 January 2017
Villains basically wear name badges that say "Hello, I'm A Villain". New powers emerge that literally every member of their race could easily possess. And characters who they couldn't afford to cast are lazily written out of the story.
The ending of the movie is just sort of tacked on giving little weight to the enormity of what it actually would mean for future films of which they seem to set up.
All in all, it's an Underworld movie, just probably the worst one.
If you've seen any of the other entries into the Underworld universe than you won't really be surprised at what you get with this one.
The ending of the movie is just sort of tacked on giving little weight to the enormity of what it actually would mean for future films of which they seem to set up.
All in all, it's an Underworld movie, just probably the worst one.
If you've seen any of the other entries into the Underworld universe than you won't really be surprised at what you get with this one.
Left Behind
(I) (2014)
Sometimes You Have To See For Yourself
28 May 2015
I watched this because I wanted to see just how bad it really is. I knew going in what it was and have even read the first four books in the series. It's been a while though so I won't even try comparing it to the book.
There was actually less preaching going on than I was expecting and that's about where the good ends. Yes it is poorly acted. Yes, the writing is horrible. And yes, it is utterly ridiculous in the end.
I was however entertained enough to watch it all the way through. That's not saying I would ever recommend it to anybody, ever. I wouldn't even recommend it to a religious person that actually believes this will happen one day.
In the end it's really just another disaster movie with a few mentions of religion. A lot less than I thought there would be and that's why it's not the worst movie I've ever seen.
There was actually less preaching going on than I was expecting and that's about where the good ends. Yes it is poorly acted. Yes, the writing is horrible. And yes, it is utterly ridiculous in the end.
I was however entertained enough to watch it all the way through. That's not saying I would ever recommend it to anybody, ever. I wouldn't even recommend it to a religious person that actually believes this will happen one day.
In the end it's really just another disaster movie with a few mentions of religion. A lot less than I thought there would be and that's why it's not the worst movie I've ever seen.
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