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3/10
Acting stiff as a board
28 August 2023
It was a movie for one of those days when you really can't seem to find anything worth seeing. After having watched Cobweb just a day prior, this one seemed to be in the same tone. Maybe the idea would be better in the hands of a totally different team, but here it seems to fall flat. The acting was stiff as a board. I hope that the actor playing the dad has a secondary job because acting is not for him. He literally seemed like an NPC. If anyone ever directs a movie about NPC's, I'm sure he'll get a role. The reactions, the delivery of lines seemed like it was done by an automaton. Not even an android. At least, Data in Star Trek, strived to become more human. Compared to this guy, Data WAS human. The actress playing the mom, was far better, though the bar was set pretty low anyway. The action was a bit predictibile, but if you don't set hopes too high, it's going to be ok. No big surprises, a standard horror recipe. The house, the family moving in, the annoying teenager. The girl was really obnoxious, but teens are like that most of the time anyway. Overall, grateful that the NPC was mostly non existent. Meh..I've seen worse. It works if there are no alternatives for the movie night and you set the bar low.
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Asteroid City (2023)
1/10
New holder of the Worst Movie title for me.
17 August 2023
This is really the worst movie I've ever seen. Even compared with genuine garbage movies, this has a special vibe that makes it pop. Maybe I'm just not the Wes Anderson type of audience. Judging solely by this movie, I would say he's overrated. It feels like an Oompa Loompa's fever dream after snorting drugs with an armadillo. I don't even know if it's campy. It's just weird and absurd. It feels like a movie that wins the Oscars in the alternate timeline of a pre Idiocracy world. I imagine this is what a movie night in Hell feels like if it was ruled by a depressed Ken because Barbie cheated on him with the Astronaut from Toy Story.. The miniature feeling of the cinematography feels weird. Interesting but weird. I know that he's got this special style for his artwork but it's like an overdose of Wes Anderson. All those angled shots, the profile framing, the quasi symmetry, the pastel colors, the weird angles , it's like a cinema art student just learned all these tricks and decided to use them all. I didn't hate it but I didn't enjoy it either.
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7/10
Not that bad
31 May 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Surpsingly, this movie wasn't that bad. Right now, the overall note of the movie is 4.4 or something like that. That's the reason that I wasn't expecting much, I was expecting a really bad movie. Maybe starting with low expectations is the reason why I was surprised a bit by the movie. OK, it's not a masterpiece, I gave it a 7 although it was more like a 6.5 or a 6 if I'm extra critical about it. But I liked the idea behind the movie. It's not that bad. The acting is not going to win anyone an Oscar for sure, but I've seen far worse acting from known actors. So...there's that. Let's say this is a B movie, but for a B movie the cinematography is not bad either. The shots are not amateurish, the sound is pretty good and I was surprised by a small detail that made me bump it to a 7.

There's a scene where the girl tries to drink some bleach. The detail that can be easily miss is that her hospital gown that is blue turns white from the bleach, and even on her bottom like she sat on a puddle of bleach. It's a nice touch of realism and an attention to details.

Also, the effects and the costumes are ok, some decent visuals that may impress less in today's cinema where we're overwhelmed with big budget special effects. Overall, the effects are ok and I never had the feeling that it looks cheap. I'm sure that if the cast had some very well-known actors, it would have been better received. It's not bad, but something is not quite there. Still, I believe that it deserves more than just 4.4.
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2/10
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills
11 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
That's what went through my mind after watching this movie and reading some of the user reviews. I consider myself a cinema fan and I've been watching a large array of different genres from different eras, and I was expecting something much more from a movie that won a Golden Globe. But this one...good God! OK, I understand an absurd situation, I can understand that each of us have our own strangeness and moods, I can accept that Colm just decided to cut ties with Padraic just like that. I can even accept that because of cultural differences and a different mindset in different eras, I might miss some part of the message in this movie. The act of cutting his own fingers, as extreme as it is, represents the pinnacle of the extreme reactions someone might take, a price to pay to be left alone. But at the same time it seems so unnecessary, so pointless, so uninteresting. Siobhan's act of leaving to find a new life, that old crone, the dead donkey...it's all too much.

I felt like I was watching something so weird and bad that it makes you want to watch more hoping to find a meaning.

It's like a car crash, you can't look away.

I get that it's the kind of movie that you either love it, or hate it. I can accept the existence of this movie. But when it starts receiving awards and praises, you start questioning everyone's sanity, your own included. Am I the crazy one, or they are? It's like watching the naked emperor, but you also notice that the emperor also forgot to take his sanity pills.

I was reluctant at first at writing this review...but I couldn't help myself. I had to express what I believe.
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Dark (2017–2020)
10/10
A mind-bending journey like no other
1 December 2022
It's probably the first time I had to pause a movie just to analyze it better and say 'WOW!' It's a mind-bending movie that has to be seen to be fully appreciated. It's not an easy movie but it's really rewarding. It's ridiculous how good it is. And not just the first season. I've seen movies that were really great the first season but came out flat in the end. This is not the case. The attention for details is incredible. I feel that no element or detail in the movie is there just to add substance. There are some small details, objects, phrases that could go unnoticed at first, but later you say "wait a second! It's that thing!" There is one thing that remains unexplained about one of the characters and it's a bit annoying, but it's intentional, not accidental. The author wanted it that way. It's like the joke with the honeycomb and the jackass in the Game of Thrones that is never told until the end. But I won't explain what that is, or who is it about.

Just know that you're about to experience a mind-bending journey.
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1/10
Avoid like the plague
17 November 2021
There are not enough Golden Raspberry Awards in the history of cinema for this disaster. Bad acting, bad script, bad science, bad everything. In the history of survival/puzzle movie such as The Cube, Saw, The Platform, this one is the mutant that everyone is too ashamed to speak of. A pretentious steaming pile of crap that leaves no room to escape the feeling of a cheap B movie. Seeing James Frain wasting his talent in this movie is just sad.
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Grey's Anatomy (2005– )
1/10
"Everything that has a beginning has an end, Neo."
18 October 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Everything that has a beginning has an end...except for this show. It should have ended long ago. It gradually lost everything that made it watchable. The first and second generations in the show and their stories were really enjoyable. Then, they've killed most of them and respawned another generation, and another, and the stories became like an old soup that gets increasingly stale and gets reheated and served to the public multiple times until they die of food poisoning and diarrhea. I begun watching this at the same time as House M. D. which is a million times better. I was sad to see House MD ending, but I understood that it is the right thing to do. Grey's Anatomy's ending is long overdue and now lives like a zombie sucking the joy of the viewers, slowly turning to woke propaganda messages that get poured down everyone's throat until they quit. It was fun for the first 10-12 seasons, maybe even until Karev was gone, but after that, it became unbearable to watch. I took away a star for every season that shouldn't have been made.
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1/10
IQ test needed after watching this.
29 July 2019
By far one of the worst movies I've seen in a while. I wonder if people who give a maximum rating to this pile of crap have ever seen a good movie. I actually fast forwarded in the second half of the movie. Why would Charles Dance associate his name with this crap?
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6/10
The end that never comes.
28 July 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Watching Avengers Endgame started as a nice story that soon became boring and predictable. The problem is that it's supposed to end an era, to be a big moment before the curtain fall, but instead tries to pave the way for Marvell phase 4. There were some interesting moments, some funny moments that really made me smile, but at the end it all fell flat. Flat as a rug. They tried to cram each and everyone in the movie, but in my opinion it feels fake, like parading with fake cardboard masks. The CGI-fest soon became boring...except for the de-aging of Michael Douglas, that was 100% uncanny valley material. I was watching it feeling nothing, feeling dead inside. Then the woke trend rear its ugly head. Anyway, it's safe to say that I'll avoid Marvel in the future. The Endgame should stay the endgame. It's time to move on.
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