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Reviews
Complicit (2013)
A slow boil that built up no head of steam yet still managed to run out of one
Oh dear, what a dreary thing this is. Not entertaining and if anyone tells you that well, that isn't point about these things, it should be to make you think, then you should feel like you're being snowed. Which is precisely what this is all about. Overly-paused moments of belaboured contemplation, a pace that should make your great-granny look sprightly and an odd, unsatisfying conclusion which I'm sure, in the minds of the writers and director, is infused with message of moral dilemma but screams conceit and comes off ho-hum. Well acted, however.
Deadpool 2 (2018)
Couldn't laugh; wanted to cry.
Oh dear, what a letdown. This has stretched so far from the fresh, funny, irreverent and energetic approach of the first movie to a boring jumble of drivel. So forced and reaching you'd think it was the fourth or fifth sequel rather than the first.
Cringeworthy attempts at humour, poor characterisation, weak acting, sloppy script and a complete lack of intelligence in the plot whatsoever. I don't mind silly. Sometimes that's wonderfully cool, razor-sharp and comes off. This doesn't. It's just silly, dull and a dreadful waste in every respect,
The only real Marvel is how they managed to screw this up so badly.
Backstrom (2015)
Recipe for Disaster
How to cook Backstrom:
* Assemble ingredients from the pretty good fiction of a Swedish criminologist.
* Take characterisation and blend cold until mostly uniform.
* Gather all plot elements and mix into a stodgy dough ball.
*Measure one cup of decent scriptwriting and dilute significantly.
* Add medium-quality actors, plot, characterisation and watered-down script to a large pot on low heat and attempt to bring to the boil.
* After about 10 minutes of simmer, attempt to separate out characters to the side to retain some hints of true flavour. No need to be too attentive to the pot, there will be no boilover.
* Add the odd spice of a stereotypical character or two for appeal to local taste. Do not worry if these jar with the flavours of the original dish; consider them a regional adaptation.
* Cook for around a further 40 minutes, or until the dish has a brownish consistency, devoid of colour, flavour, intensity and is indistinguishable from your regular TV dinner.
Neighbors (2014)
Gazing at vomit is worth more of your time
Truly dreadful.
I confess my review is based on only perhaps the first 30 minutes. I lasted until Lisa Kudrow came into it, and then I really did want to throw up.
However much I searched, with an open mind, for some redeeming spark in script, actors, or direction with which to drive me to stick it out, I simply couldn't. This is pure, unadulterated drivel.
During what would have been the back half of the movie had I not switched off, I checked reviews on IMDb. I couldn't believe, page after page, that the 1/10 scores somehow added to a 7.0 total rating at the end.
As with the movie, I never got to the end of the reviews. I tallied 2- 3/10 from the several pages I read. Its average ranking rates above many of what one could call the seminal and decent movies you've seen over your viewing lifetime. Statistically, the remainder of the reviews must rate this near god-like to raise the average rating to what it is.
To me, that stinks as much as the sloppy turd this movie is.
In the Blood (2014)
Watch so you can be reminded it's worth watching good movies (not this one)
If you've done everything possible on your bucket list, and are waiting around with nothing to do with your time before you die, watch this movie.
There's as much wooden acting as Commando, but without the muscles. The story sucks, which is disappointing as it's ripped from others before yet still can't learn from any of those and make a decent go of it.
Characterisation is appallingly poor. I'm not sure what the director was doing but clearly his focus had nothing to do with the characters and their acting in each scene. Maybe he was elsewhere on another movie at the time? It certainly comes across like it.
Overall I found it wanting in every cinematic aspect - few redeeming qualities with which to call it a feature film. Other than length - they spin this out to the thick end of two hours. There's lots of killing and blood, however. And quite a bit of fighting, though boringly captured. Some others have mentioned MMA in their reviews. My view - forget martial arts here, the acronym in this effort stands for Mostly Mangled Acting.
A good waste of time if you generally feel better about yourself from laughing at D grade movies.