Beware the flies that buzzeth: they are drawn to the pile of human excrement that is this film. How do you put a one hundred year-old crone in tight leather and try to pass her off as Kate Beckinsale? The red wig isn't enough to hide the fact that she ought to be stirring a cauldron someplace. I guess compared to the writer and director, who also plays Evil Vampiric Meatloaf, she's but a minor turdling.
PLOT: Underworld meets Lost Boys meets Swan's Crossing. Guy with two daughters that clearly aren't his move to a town. This town has vampires. And werewolves. And none of them can act. Vampires fight werewolves while stalked by an ancient order of high-tech dinner theater actors. SPOILER ALERT: Neither the vampires nor the werewolves nor the high tech dinner theaters lose the battle -- only the terrible director.
PLOT: Underworld meets Lost Boys meets Swan's Crossing. Guy with two daughters that clearly aren't his move to a town. This town has vampires. And werewolves. And none of them can act. Vampires fight werewolves while stalked by an ancient order of high-tech dinner theater actors. SPOILER ALERT: Neither the vampires nor the werewolves nor the high tech dinner theaters lose the battle -- only the terrible director.
Tell Your Friends