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Doctor Who: The Star Beast (2023)
Season Unknown, Episode Unknown
2/10
The Worst of All Worlds
26 November 2023
Warning: Spoilers
To begin with let me say I'm sure many will criticise this episode for extremely stupid reasons. I think the focus on representation and having relevant conversations is important. While I don't think it was very well implemented that's not what made this episode a failure in my opinion. So let's get to it.

The 60th anniversary specials represent a key moment that will no doubt determine the future of Doctor Who as it enters a new era, and none of these is more important than the first episode.

Russell T Davies brings us back to the domesticity that typified his original run back in 2005. It's a welcome change and this focus on families and real life is sure to feed into the resolution of Doctor Who's most heartbreaking plot threads: Donna Noble's memory.

Due to some Time Lord regeneration mishaps, if Donna remembers The Doctor then her memories will come flooding back and destroy her. This is exactly the kind of powerful story we need at the core of these three specials. The resolution of a fan favourite character's story. One that's hung over The Doctor's head for 15 years. And yet...

Put it down to studio mandates or Davies' own preference but I strongly suspect that the idea for these specials was to create a new entry point to the series. In other words, these would need to be as close to standalone as possible while still giving long time fans the payoff they've been waiting for.

The result is that this first episode focuses almost entirely on an ineffectual 'twist' villain of the week whose spaceship needs to blow up London in order to take off. An insane piece of engineering by any standard but not out of place for a lot of weaker episodes of the show. But this needed to be so much more. It needed to focus on Donna's story, but it chose not to.

Relegating the emotional core of the story to a handwavey B-plot is a baffling choice. The Doctor functionally sacrifices Donna to defeat a beanie baby. She survives by pure plot contrivance and she and her daughter solve the Meta Crisis issue by just deciding that it isn't a problem anymore and shaking off some magic dust. They tell The Doctor that a male presenting Time Lord would never think to give up power, a strange thing to say to the most self-sacrificing character in the universe.

All of this presumably in order to make the following two episodes more self contained. So the result is the worst of both worlds: a lore-heavy first episode and a rushed conclusion to Donna's situation.

There's still hope for this era, but it's off to the worst start in long history of the franchise.
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Futurama: The Prince and the Product (2023)
Season 11, Episode 9
3/10
Aimless, lazy and tragically boring
18 September 2023
Having rewatched every episode of Futurama multiple times I'm disappointed to admit they've finally made one worth skipping.

A rare Futurama episode that just doesn't know what it wants to be. A combination of a classic story and a few shorts themed around different toys. Some of it is fairly imaginative and could have been the basis of some amusing stories but combined the episode felt aimless, underdeveloped and, worst of all, boring.

The final scene of the episode acknowledges that the whole thing has been pointless with the kind of gag that Futurama has successfully pulled off in the past. Unfortunately in this case the writing just isn't there. Potentially the only truly bad episode of the entire series.
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Old (2021)
1/10
Boneshakingly stupid
27 April 2023
There are few films in the same league as The Last Airbender but M. Night has done it again.

An internally inconsistent plot, mediocre direction and some of the worst dialogue ever put to screen make Old physically painful to watch. When it isn't miserably boring it's embarrassingly idiotic.

As expected the ending reveal attempts to switch things up but is so poorly executed and simplistic that it somehow makes the atrocious movie that preceded it seem like an even bigger waste of time.

I won't go into details regarding the films ending but needless too say I sincerely believe this entire film was a prank to steal 2 hours it's viewers lives.
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Glass Onion (2022)
5/10
Transparent and hollow
6 February 2023
In characteristic Rian Johnson fashion, and much like Knives Out before it, Glass Onion puts in a lot of work building up all the elements of the setting and players in order to craft its mystery.

Then as we reach the climax (again in typical Johnson style) all of that hard work is thrown away for a finale that is somehow both absurdly telegraphed and also completely out of place.

Seemingly self aware of this fact, in the grand conclusion detective Benoit Blanc compares the mystery to the titular glass onion. An object that masquerades as complex and layered but is, in reality, transparent, hollow and essentially a waste of time.

Unfortunately, just as a carpenter making a one-legged chair can't just engrave the words "this chair falls over" and call it a day, Glass Onion calling out its own shortcomings doesn't fix them. In fact, the opposite is true.

Maybe it comes down to personal taste in the end but I've always walked away from Johnson's films with a hollow feeling. The feeling that any depth was just an illusion, and one all but dropped before the credits rolled.
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Doctor Who: The Power of the Doctor (2022)
Season Unknown, Episode Unknown
3/10
Fundamentally terrible until the final scene
23 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
We're heading straight into major spoiler territory here because this episode was focused around one extremely flawed evil plan and here it is:

The Master wants to become The Doctor so he can ruin her reputation and make her name a byword for evil. To accomplish this he uses a forced regeneration machine to force her to regenerate into him, effectively stealing her body and turning her from Jodie Whittaker into Sasha Dhawan.

A plan which could also have been achieved by saying "Hello, I'm The Doctor" and then shooting some people.

On one level it's nice that the hilariously bad Chibnall era has ended on such a stupid story. If he'd pulled some good writing out of the bag we might have missed him.

But onto the real headline, that spicy regeneration at the end of the episode. Jodie Whittaker regenerating into none other than...David Tennant!

Thousands of fans cheered at their screens in unison as the new Russell T Davies era exploded onto the scene, ushering in what we can only hope will be a new revival, much like what Davies first accomplished in 2005. Though now he arguably faces an even greater challenge.

Series 1 tasked Davies with resurrecting a series long on hiatus, a daunting task but one he rose to mightily.

Now he faces the challenge of rescuing the show from the festering quagmire of almost half a decade of lacklustre or downright awful stories, can he rise to this challenge? I'm optimistic but only time will tell.
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9/10
A lot to discuss
12 August 2022
Coming into this having not seen the series, there's a lot to unpack. From the redesigned characters to the addition of mystical powers, this version of the turtles has taken them in a lot of new and interesting directions.

While I'm not necessarily in love with all the choices in isolation, they come together in this movie to create an exciting, funny, and heartfelt adventure. Packed with great characterisation, excellent worldbuilding and some of the best animation this side of Mob Psycho 100, Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The Movie is a fantastic ride that's more than deserving of the legacy.
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Farzar (2022)
2/10
The animators deserved better
18 July 2022
Farzar joins the ever growing list of extremely poorly written animated shows trying to capitalise on the runaway success of Rick and Morty.

The most that can be said of it is that it showcases what a team of writers can do when they're putting in the absolute minimum amount of effort. I wouldn't be surprised if it was written by some discount AI designed to waste the precious moments we have on this Earth.

Honestly there's not much more to say than that. Don't waste your time.
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Resident Evil (2022)
7/10
Better than the hate
15 July 2022
Resident Evil is highly enjoyable with some great performances, an engaging story and an appropriate sprinkling of comedy without going overboard.

As a fan of the games, it was inevitable that this adaptation would be wildly different to the source material by necessity.

Thankfully this version learns from the mistakes of the movies by telling a more grounded story focused on character and evolving relationships across a decade and change.

Then comes the issue of the fan reaction. While it's understandable for fans to have a negative reaction to adaptations that diverge from the source material, having read through a lot of the negative reviews on here, that's only a fraction of the reason.

Even a cursory reading of these reviews makes it clear that the issue is that Netflix "made it political". That is to say there was an acknowledgement of Covid-19 and a number of the shows lead actors aren't white. Those are things a certain segment of terminally online zombies just can't stomach.

So don't listen to the flood of disingenuous hate, give the show a shot. It's a hell of a lot better than the franchise has had up to now.
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Noblesse (2020)
3/10
Trite and unoriginal
28 June 2022
My first encounter with Noblesse as a story came years ago when I first discovered the comic on the Webtoon comics app. It seemed popular over there so I have it a try. I was disappointed.

A painfully unoriginal premise and truly dreadful dialogue (every line is a lazy piece of exposition that would never come out of a persons mouth), Noblesse is further dragged down by the cast, a smattering of anime cardboard cutouts, bringing nothing new to the table.

These anime tropes made Noblesse a novelty on Webtoon but a boring, unoriginal wreck outside of that context.
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3/10
Designed to be ignored
16 June 2022
With the advent of smartphones and laptops, TV creators are aware they have to compete with second screens. God's Favorite Idiot takes the unique strategy leaning into this by making literally every scene between 5 and 15 minutes too long.

Presumably the direction consisted of "just kind of improvise and we'll add the plot in post"

In a better written show the entire plot of the first episode would take place in a single scene. Instead it just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

There's nothing wrong with actors improvising but God's Favorite Idiot felt like teenagers in an improv class with a time slot to fill and absolutely no direction or even interest in creating something interesting or engaging.
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Senior Year (2022)
3/10
A Horror Movie in Disguise
18 May 2022
Senior Year is a lighthearted comedy with a few decent chuckles. In most cases that would be enough. The problem comes in how it deals with its premise.

Steph (Rebel Wilson) is involved in a cheerleadering accident that leaves her comatose for 20 years. When she wakes up she's 37, but from her perspective she was 17 only hours before.

This tragic premise was an opportunity to centre the movie around heart, empathy, and the struggle of helping someone in an impossible situation. The majority of jokes could have stayed in, but this underlying theme could have brought depth and compassion to the characters, particularly in the third act.

Instead, the characters around Steph insist that she "grow up" and start acting like an adult, something she fundamentally hasn't had time to become. Not even the most reasonable and caring characters bother to empathise with her extremely difficult situation, resulting in every one of them feeling like a shallow, self-absorbed husk, no matter how the script struggles to convince us otherwise.

There's a deep sense of both horror and tragedy in the premise of Senior Year that could have been leveraged to craft a movie with true depth and heart, but is instead treated as a shallow setup for a standard story of a protagonist stuck in the past.
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Doctor Who: Legend of the Sea Devils (2022)
Season Unknown, Episode Unknown
1/10
A new low
17 April 2022
My hopes were raised after the strong showing of the New Years special, but more the fool me.

A BBC production hasn't been this poorly produced in 25 years. Flubbed lines and alternate takes are somehow left in.

That's not to mention the appalling writing that's taken the already abysmal Chibnall norm to a new low.

The Doctor, as the smartest character in any room, is always a source of exposition. That said, when a good writer takes the helm, that exposition will be punched up with some comedy, drama or character work.

Under Chibnall, Whitakker is forced to prattle off whatever incredibly boring exposition he churned out. What's more, it's almost never plot relevant. It's like the writers are aware that The Doctor needs to say clever things but aren't aware there's also meant to be a story happening.

And don't get me started on the Doctor's reactions to things. She seems shocked that a high tech laser sword can cut some old rope. She constantly explains what's going on even when it's something incredibly straightforward.

It's a shame that Whitakker didn't get a chance to really show her chops as The Doctor but thank god this atrocious run is almost at an end. If they can pull out one good episode for the finale later this year it would truly be a miracle.
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Our Flag Means Death (2022–2023)
9/10
An excellent comedy that goes above and beyond
14 April 2022
After a slow start, Our Flag Means Death becomes one of the most entertaining, engaging and emotional shows to hit the mainstream in years.

Seemingly a farcical comedy starring an incompetant pirate, the show soon becomes something filled with heart and deep, complex relationships. Somehow achieving this without compromising the comedy, Our Flag Means Death is a breath of fresh air after years of drama that takes itself too seriously, and comedy that doesn't take itself seriously enough.

If the show isn't picked up for a second season it would be a crying shame.
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4/10
All style, no substance (again)
22 December 2021
The 1999 Matrix was a visual spectacle but every action scene, every fight, every chase was tied to the arc of not only the story but the characters. There wasn't a wasted moment. Resurrections on the other hand brings the spectacle but without moving characters forward.

By the time the big finale comes around, every big choice has been made, every character has reached their conclusion. The obligatory CGI fest is nothing more than big action for the sake of it and fizzles out in an unexpected but incredibly poorly handled way.

In Resurrections, Lana Wachowski makes the same mistake she and her sister made with Reloaded and Revolutions. She doubles down on the Neo and Trinity relationship, a relationship that was barely extant through most of the original, and one that is not remotely interesting enough to be the core of one movie, let alone three.

The additions to the lore are interesting and have far reaching implications. However, as a movie...well it seems the Wachowski Sisters caught lightning in a bottle once and only once in regards to this franchise.
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Squid Game (2021– )
8/10
An incredible show that fails to stick the landing.
28 October 2021
Endings are hard for even the best writers and nowhere is that clearer than in season 1 of Squid Game.

After what amounted to one of the year's most powerful, poignant, and emotional seasons of television, Squid Game falls flat on it's face with one of the worst season finales in recent memory.

At the core of this unfortunate misstep is an apparent desire to insert a twist where none was needed, and the worst kind of twist at that, the kind that devalues the emotional weight of the entire story.

Squid Game is still a fantastic journey and would easily be a solid 9 or 10/10, just maybe skip the final episode.
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Schmigadoon! (2021–2023)
5/10
Impressively mediocre
9 October 2021
I've never watched anything that managed to be so perfectly mediocre. There was almost nothing great about it and nothing bad about it. It's a marvel to watch in all honesty.
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3/10
Holes within holes
24 September 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Unfortunately, the Captain Marvel beeper created a lot of inconsistencies in the MCU, but nowhere are they seen more clearly than in this episode. The idea that SHIELD would use it and call Captain Marvel to Earth to deal with some partying aliens instead of the multiple extinction level events pre-Infinity War feels like a major contrivance just to get Thor and Captain Marvel to fight.

The animation continues to be wildly inconsistent (the lips in particular being highly off-putting) and the dialogue is thoroughly cringeworthy.
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What If...?: What If... Zombies?! (2021)
Season 1, Episode 5
4/10
A Shallow, Sloppy Mess
17 September 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Unfortunately, this was a bit of a mess of an episode with some very weak dialogue and a severe lack of willingness to explore the implications of the events of the story.

Bucky slices Steve Rogers in half with his own shield then says a one liner and moves on with his life. Why bother creating a scenario where heroes are forced to murder each other if you're not going to examine how they'll deal having to do that?

Moreover, zombies that have the full capabilities and ability to use weapons of their human selves are wildly uninteresting. The episode ends with zombie Thanos with the Infinity Gauntlet, which is functionally no different to regular Thanos.

On the plus side, this episode had some of the best animation of the series so far. Admittedly that's not saying much, as What-If showcases some of the ugliest animation ever to come out of Disney, but this episode was at least a relative high point in that regard.

Honestly, it's just an immensely shallow and sloppy execution of a fairly decent premise.
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Centaurworld (2021)
10/10
Wow
2 August 2021
Centaurworld takes a few episodes to get into but once you do it's one of the most thoroughly entertaining and joyous pieces of media of the decade.
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Man Like Mobeen (2017– )
10/10
Incredible.
30 July 2021
Man Like Mobeen reaches heights of concise comedy and character writing that are above and beyond anything in decades. As little as five minutes into the first episode every character is distinct and hilarious. Absolute gold.
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Luca (2021)
7/10
Cute if a little boring
21 June 2021
Luca has a fun and likable cast of characters. The simple plot could have been a strength if done well but in practice it's a little slow. If the entire plot had been condensed into 30 minutes it would've been much more fun.

Hopefully we'll get another outing from these characters with the story they deserve.
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Utopia (I) (2013–2014)
10/10
Arguably one of the best shows ever made
5 June 2021
Utopia stands apart from the overwhelming majority of TV (and especially it's US remake) in it's dedication to incredible storytelling through truly inspired visual and musical direction.

It's one of the great tragedies of TV storytelling that it was cancelled after only two series. But in spite of its unrealised potential, or perhaps because of it, Utopia will be remembered for a long time to come.
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Love, Death & Robots: The Drowned Giant (2021)
Season 2, Episode 8
3/10
Far from engaging
4 June 2021
A fairly interesting premise, hindered by the cringeworthy dialogue of a character whose inner monologue is a B- English Lit essay.
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Love, Death & Robots: Life Hutch (2021)
Season 2, Episode 7
3/10
Clichéd, uninteresting
4 June 2021
This is probably the weakest episode of the season in that it really doesn't try to do anything. Unfortunately, it's the most cookie cutter robot story imaginable.
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Love, Death & Robots: All Through the House (2021)
Season 2, Episode 6
8/10
Best of the season
4 June 2021
This episode is easily the best of the season. The premise is fun and it's executed in an engaging way.
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