Reviews

The Legend of the Enveloped Demons 2022

After reading the first review pertaining heavily to Green Peace, Jurassic Park and Bradley Cooper, my first wish was to attain the same hallucinogenics the other reader had attain and ingest them and peruse this movie again.

I see nothing negatively impacting "The Exorcist". We have a group of individuals named "Exorcists" which is apt since they do eradicate demons. They put the Blue Angels to shame in their aerodynamic maneuvering and they look astoundingly awesome dressed in black with their "Hellboy" hands.

Not much makes sense in this movie. I would have suggested decapitating all the humans that transformed into fish head demons. A massive amount of scrumptious fish head soup could have been made to feed the entire village.

The doctor, which we discover is a demon, is still cute as a button in her demon form and I wish I had one around the house. She had the cutest ears.

I do like the cinematography and the set designs and costumes are excellent.

CGI is not so pleasing in contrast to the practical effects in which the CGI stands out as very subpar.

I especially liked the actor that played the eldest brother.

After the opening sequence, it is never explained why everyone hates exorcists so much especially when at the penultimate end battle, 1/5 of the village are EXORCISTS!

I have seen so many horrifically bad movies lately, this was a reprieve for me. It motivated me to finally rid my kitchen of the 4th level of Hell demon inhabiting my kitchen appliances!

I agree with the first reviewer as it deserves a 4 out of ten. It is watchable for fun if you switch your brain into "off" mode.

Red Letters

This proselytizing piece of excrement is overwhelmingly intellectually repulsive. It happened to coincide with my viewing of another movie that day that purportedly was a comedy. There was absolutely nothing funny within the context of that movie but this one? I found myself laughing wholeheartedly at the ending.

Others have mentioned the absence of any individual with the ability to act. Little does the public know that the casting of the movie involved an excruciating process of locating intoxicated individuals in a local park, waking them up and asking them to do a reading and hiring them in exchange for a bottle of mad dog 20/20. They are essentially that bad.

The script is horrendous. It makes no sense, especially the ending. Which was uproariously funny in its conveyance. Imagine reading a Jack Chick tract in which ANYTHING you do in life will end with you going to Hell! The format of the movie is precisely that in finale with evil looking into the camera and stating "If only bla bla would have been saved!". He could have died like his partner who was a believer and it did not help him in the slightest. If the idiot's soul was forfeit, they could have killed him at ANY location and attained the same result instead of this elaborate, idiotic plan to get him to a specific location.

One reviewer had written there was little scripture. What movie did they watch? Most sermons I have encountered have much less scripture. Usually a line of scripture is what a sermon is based upon and delivered pertaining to it. I know.

Prepare yourself for the image of Satan that is the proverbial red entity with horns. Thankfully they cut the segment very quickly to a flash so one could barely notice it was a mask purchased from a Halloween Costume store. It was still very funny.

This is reflective of what this site has become, people that are associated with the film rate it a 10 while more sane individuals may give you a real assessment of it. Believe me. Those that rate it as a ten need psychiatric help in their delusions that this is the greatest story that has ever been filmed.

Do not waste your time watching this garbage. The only reason I am writing this is because it is insulting. Here a little fact that should surprise you. I am a minister.

I was overtly delighted upon viewing this film to see someone actually must have legally attained the complete troglodyte costume from the movie "Trog" starring Joan Crawford to utilize. Unfortunately Richard Kiel having met his earthly demise could not reprise his role from "Eegah".

The acting is atrocious. Everyone preports to be long time hunters yet everyone's clothes are pristine. No wear or any dirt.

This movie quickly degenerates into the "everyone run from the monster" with camera bouncing all around. I guess no one has ever heard of a steady cam.

The U. S. should recruit the creature for the Olympic shot put event. Being able to throw a deceased dog, weighing what it does for that distance is astounding.

The spoiler: "They are dead Dave, everybody is dead..."

Charlie's Farm: Slasher Genre movie.

Things I learned.

About Charlie: 1. Charlie has iridescent, yellow irises which are never explained.

2. Charlie has existed on this ranch for decades yet he wear clothes and boots that fit him perfectly. You would think that a seven foot, 350 pound horribly disfigured man would find it difficult to find clothes but apparently not. He must buy in bulk through the catalog "Deformed Man Mountain Clothing".

3. Charlie as a small boy displayed rotten teeth. Even decades later with obviously no dental regime, he still has a mouth full of rotten teeth. I would think by now all he would have are the gums and his cannibalistic days are in the past. Oatmeal time!

4. In one scene as an adult, we see the deformity of the spine. Obviously the vertebral column is no longer attached to the pelvis and how he is able to be standing straight and walking is truly a miracle! Praise the Lord!

5. Charlie brandishes a very unique weapon, one that would not be available for purchase from a store. So he obviously took up mining, smelting, blacksmithing, wood working, all to create said weapon. People refer to him as a "retarded"?

6. It is amazing how Charlie has not succumbed to infection during the decades his sores and wounds have been seeping.

7. As in the sport of body building, Charlie loves to oil himself up. I have no idea why but every one else in the movie does not exhibit a bead of sweat or oily skin. He does have a large supply of 10W30, 10W40 and 10W50 in all the derelict autos littering the ranch. Someone mentions that nothing has been disturbed in 50 years. Well no one seems to notice many cars are NOT 50 years old!

8. I must say that Charlie has a wonderful attitude towards life. He truly, obviously enjoys what he does because of his laughing and giggling. He did give up that promising career as a care taker of the elderly in a geriatric facility to stay on the ranch to assure a homicidal manic would ALWAYS be available when needed. His father would have been proud!

9. I LAUGH at your puny point blank discharge of a gun into my torso!

The idiots: 1. One realizes and extrapolates very quickly that the four main characters have an aggregate I. Q. of 213. One wonders why Charlie is referred to as the "Retard"?

2. What my friends really are receptive to. I suggest that for a vacation I want us to traverse to the former home of John Wayne Gacy, in which he murdered and buried 26 young men in the earth under the house. I just want to find "Something really cool!" DUH!

3. Let us just take into account this is just an idiotic idea, but let us disregard an entire bar full of people warning you not to go there. We will then disregard a good friend warning us not to go there because it is dangerous. We will go anyway because we are immensely stupid.

4. Never react to a seven foot deformed, homicidal maniac standing in the room in which you are sleeping, staring at you. Just look at him for 10 seconds, don't yell or scream, just fall back to sleep!

5. When someone points out to you that "He's huge!". You naturally turn to see a seven foot tall, wound and sore seeping, oiled, yellowed eyed, deformed man carrying a huge bladed weapon staring at you. You immediately get out of the water nude and walk up to him and proceed to announce that he is "Retarded". Are you surprised he wacks (LOL er..), with one blow (LOL er..) with one deft cleave, severs your penis, picks it up and shoves it in your mouth. I wish this would have occurred after just introducing this character in the movie.

6. This is the largest, flaccid penis in the history of mankind. Take a look at what gets stuffed into his mouth, it is the size of a ten pound brausaugger!

7. When you are the only person still breathing and find yourself being rescued by an elderly gentleman that earlier had warned you not to come, always stop and loudly berate him instead of getting your ass out of danger!

I see Charlie as a very necessary part of the Eco-system. As with other predators which maintain the population of other species, Charlie hacks and hews and releases from their mortal coil, extremely imbecilic humans. He is doing homo sapiens a service by removing these MANY moron from the gene pool before they propagate. If only we had a Charlie in every neighborhood. The world would be a much better place!