Change Your Image
flavia_cj
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Super Mario Bros. (1993)
...
This movie is the explanation of why people who understand nothing of games should never make a movie about video game characters.
In fact, "Super Mario Bros." should not have even left the paper for a very simple reason: Mario will never work with real actors.
Mario and Luigi are cartoon-game-characters in a colorful and cute universe. They were created for this purpose and that is how they should stay.
Embody them in a dark movie with actors of flesh and bone is just a bad idea.
The result is a grotesque movie, unintentional comedy that doesn't remember absolutely anything the essence of Mario games.
102 Minutes That Changed America (2008)
Best documentary about September 11 I have ever seen.
For me this is the best documentary about 9/11 until today. Other documentaries make analysis more cold and rational about the attacks, and has its great importance, of course, but this one is 100% immersive because it shows the point of view of those who felt the terror in the skin, without the need for any narrator in the background explaining the events. This is the strength of this documentary: the images and the reaction of the people speak for themselves. It gives the sensation of fear, confusion and perplexity that the people were feeling. Even if you're not a North American, even if you live in another country far this tragedy, when you watch this documentary, you have the full feeling that was there that day. A very impressive and impactful documentary.
Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)
Boring, empty and forgettable
A very boring, empty and forgettable movie. The characters are caricatures that do not instill empathy, anger or admiration. There came a time when I did not care one bit if the hero and the girl finished devoured by giant. And then, when a character dies there in the middle of the film, and others cry under their symbolic grave, I could not care less. The film did not offer enough time for to know better that character, and so, I can't have felt sorry for him.
Moreover, the only female character throughout history is just a "damsel in distress" - In other words, a useless woman - and this movie is 2013, which shows how uninspired and unoriginal this film is.
Here the giant creatures are one-dimensional, no depth, and too stupid villains to gain some kind of reverence to the public. What the hell was the giant rip-off "Gollum of two heads"? It was supposed to be funny? It was supposed to be scary? And why the hell there are only male giant? How the hell they reproduce? How they emerged as society with only males? Why are there no giant children?
Yes, if they wanted to show many giants, not just one, they should have been concerned about these simple questions. As we see, this film is so weak that not bothered to bring a credible society to the viewer. This movie It's very bullshit, even for children.
Human (2015)
A powerful documentary.
""I am poor. I will now define poverty. What is poverty to me? It's when I have to go to school but can not go. When I need to eat, but I can not. When I need to sleep, but I can not. When my wife and children suffer. I do not have the intellectual level needed to get out of this situation. neither I nor my family. I feel really poor in body and mind. And you rich, who are listening to me, what you have to say about their wealth?""
Presented in 3 Volumes of 1 hour and a half duration each, HUMAN speaks about LOVE in the purest sense of the word; talks about the machismo and homophobia still very present in the world of wars and conflicts, about revenge and forgiveness, about the humiliating poverty of many and indifferent wealth of the few. It also talks about how the current system is unfair and how the work for most people is exhausting, stressful and unhappy, making them spend his life in exchange for a money can buy everything but quality of life or True Love.
HUMAN makes it clear how the violence against others and contempt for the less fortunate, regardless for what reasons are, it's something completely useless and unnecessary. Because in every face and all eyes, be they rich or poor, black or white, victims or criminals, straight or gay, old or children, we see that all these people are human-beings, each with its peculiarities, cultures and different stories, yes, but human-beings above all.
This Documentary makes us look inside ourselves and make the following questions:
Why do I keep killing me to work for a lifetime in a job that makes me more harm than good, just to accumulate the maximum of goods I can, when I die I will not take anything with me? Why do we treat each other so badly? Why do we insist on seeing the other as a threat, an enemy, not a creature to be understood, heard and respected? Why do we insist we find ourselves higher or worse than others?
If all - or at least most - do these simple questions and begin to see in every known and unknown face a Being-Human, surely the world would not this place so full of poverty, inequality and conflict.
Pretty Woman (1990)
Another illusory movie
Well, I'm a woman, and legend has it that every woman wants one day meet her millionaire prince charming, because then she will be happy forever. I disagree vehemently with that belief and that's why I hated Pretty Woman. First of all, why not portray the life of a street prostitute like for real? I don't see problems in show a friendly, playful and hardworking prostitute. But why hide the routine of aggression and constant violence that these woman suffer? Pretty Woman ignores these important and essential aspects completely. And then we enter the most serious part, the old lie "The Man saves the woman of the streets." Why not show the reality, that is: in the life of a real prostitute, the men overwhelmingly are the PROBLEM, not the salvation.
I'm not criticizing love. There are many prostitutes fall in love in real life. But why the guy she loves needs to be a millionaire? The good guy of the film could be an average man, but who loved her and had good intentions. But no, of course not! After all Hollywood need to perpetuate the lie that a person can only find true happiness when becoming a MILLIONAIRE or marrying a MILLIONAIRE. Moreover, the movie show a very conservative and confortable plot, where Vivian Ward, a prostitute, be seen sleeping exclusively with Edward Lewis, it's literally a monogamous relationship, she don't have sex with any other guy, she doesn't use drugs, she has no past trauma. Oh Really? She didn't have a pimp, too. Of course, another man in the area would ruin the Hollywood romantic dream. This movie is too unreal, pass messages too materialists to the public, and think it's an insult to all women who prostitute themselves in the streets and peripheries.
Grizzly Man (2005)
This movie is a unintended comedy about a bizarre guy
I must say that I had never heard of this guy until three days ago. Well, I'm Brazilian and Timothy Treadwell is completely unknown in my country (although I believe he must be famous in the United States). Then as I heard of him? To summarize: the internet. I was on youtube watching a video of the naturalist Casey Anderson playing with a brown bear named Bella. So I was reading the page comments, and I saw someone to comment in irony tone: "Don't be another Timothy Treadwell." This immediately aroused my curiosity. Who is this guy? When searching on Google, I found the biography of this man, a supposed passionate naturalist by bears in Alaska, who died tragically eaten by a bear in 2003, along with his girlfriend. Only this information impressed me, and when I found out they had made a documentary about his life and his filming, of course I wanted to watch the film. Well, after finishing seeing "The Grizzly Man" last night, I leave here my main impressions:
I can understand the love of Timothy by nature and by the bears, because I also love nature, I also love bears - they are really impressive, beautiful and majestic creatures. But one thing is you love and admire something, another thing is you dangerously invade the wild space, ignoring the natural laws, and ignoring the true nature of bears and their true human nature. Although he recorded impressive scenes, such as the grand struggle of male bears by a female, which show to us the immense power of these animals, Timothy's recklessness and narcissism are evident. Philosophically speaking, I disagree with Timothy and with the Herzog director's view of what is Nature. I don't see nature with the naive and childish view that everything is harmony, peace and beauty, but I don't have this depressing view that everything is pure chaos and sheer destruction. I think the nature is a mixed and combination of both. Yes, I see moments of destruction, cruelty and suffering in it, but I also see moments of beauty, joy and harmony. I think the question is have the wisdom to know, to study and to understand the beautiful and the ugly at the same time.
For me, the documentary worked as an unintended comedy. There are sad moments, as the moment when Herzog heard the tape recording when Timothy and his girlfriend were attacked, but most of the time, I found myself crying laughing. The part where Timothy is in ecstasy for see a bear poop is hilarious. The part where a interviewed criticizes him without mercy saying that the bears think him like a mentally retarded also made me laugh. Undoubtedly, Timothy Treadwell was a very bizarre dude, but their relatives and friends are also unintentionally comic figures. I mean, the mother and father, his ex-girlfriend, the "platonic" friend, and the mustache guy in the helicopter who found his remains are creatures as eccentric as Timothy. The only person who seemed more normal next him was Amie, after all, she was afraid of bears and not approached them so dangerously. Unfortunately she hardly appears and remains unknown to us. In fact, this film is not about bears, but about a bizarre dude called Timothy Treadwell.
The Ugly Duckling and Me! (2006)
Worst animation I've ever seen in the theater.
Even if you have never seen, you already realize that a movie is bad when there is no specialized criticism about the movie on Rotten Tomatoes, and when there are only 5 comments (6 now with me) in the IMDb, the majority written 10 years ago.
Well, I'll be as sincere as possible: This film is insufferably, unbearably bad. One of the worst animation I've ever seen. I think only "Titanic's animated movies" and "Food Fight" overcomes this. I unfortunately watched it with my dear father some 10 years ago, in a period that I didn't have the habit of reading reviews on the internet before venturing into the theater. In short, my father lost his money and we lose almost two hours of our lives that no longer return.
The story is so forgettable, the characters are so generic that one hour after the end, you will forget all about the movie. I can only remember a ridiculous scene in a generic amusement park (or something like that) and the ugly duckling turning teenager in a blink of an eye.
Take my advice: preserve your time. If you have not watched this thing yet, feel happy: you have lost nothing.
The Angry Birds Movie (2016)
The curse of the games that become movies continues.
First of all, let me say the only good thing in this film: stereoscopic effects. Really well done, I must admit. The rest? Pure garbage. Arriving too late to show relevance, because the period of the Angry Birds mania already finished, this film has no originality and its characters are shallow stereotypes, shallower than a saucer. If you are over 5 years old or You has already seen at least 5 animations and anime in your life, then you've seen this film. Starting with the very cliché protagonist hero, Red: a boy who is rejected by his entire community (wow, that original thing, my goodness!) and that is orphaned (Harry Potter, Naruto, Luke Skywalker, Bruce Wayne), and plays the hero who wants to save the society that mistreats and rejects him. Really? Where is the logic in that? No real human being - (read: no believable character) would care to help a group of individuals or a society that only mistreats you. It makes no sense at all. "Friends" of the protagonist follow him just as script convenience, nothing more than that, because there is no real reason for them being there. It all sounds forced. Not even funny this film is; the comedy is full of memes we've seen a million times and scatological jokes inappropriate for children. But if the film is too dull for youth and adults and inappropriate for children too, it just shows the lack of focus of this film. A waste of time. The curse of the games that become films continues. Be careful, Assassin's Creed!
The Lone Ranger (2013)
Jack Sparrow goes West.
I love western movies. Westerns are one of my favorite genres of movies. So I watched this movie with great expectations. A Disney movie, high production, and actors weight like Johnny Depp? I'm not a fanatical fan of Johnny Depp but I generally like his movies. So, "what could go wrong?" I thought.
My Jesus, I really hate this movie! I mean, the film tries to be everything - tries to be funny, epic, dramatic, tries to outline a novel, but it does not seem to be a genuine western movie. Worse than that, it does not remember anything the characters Lone Ranger and Tonto. It's as if they had created two totally different characters, but with the same names.
Lone Ranger here is a complete moron, made a fool all the time and an annoyingly politically-correct character. The film was supposed to be about him, but he did not have charisma enough to be the protagonist, and is fully eclipsed by Johnny Depp.
But if Johnny Depp steals every scene as Tonto, even your character annoyed me. What the heck they did with Tonto in this film? What the heck was that stuffed bird? True Tonto was not a lunatic or a madman. He was not dressed in flashy clothes.
In this film, Tonto is not a real Native American, he is literally Jack Sparrow tired of the pirate life that moved to the West and changed its name to Tonto.
And what about the villains? All, without exception, seem pirates of the caribbean dressed in cowboy clothes, which fell parachutes in the west. The unique character of this film that seems to have brain is the Horse, and if the most intelligent character in a western story is an animal, this mean there are problems.
The plot is a spectacular mess, jumping from action scenes, to violent and heavy scenes, for children's jokes, for really trash moments. What the heck was the scene with the rabbits? And what was that scene with the character of Helena B. Carter shoots with a gun inside the boot? Worthy scenes to appear in any show or film of Seth MacFarlane no doubt.
I mean, really? What this film aims to be? An epic western for adults, an Disney movie for kids or a parody trash like "A Million Ways to Die in the West"? They should have chosen only one of these alternatives, because join all this in a quilt does not work.
This film is a complete bullshit. I lost almost three hours of my life that no longer return. I give one star to the hair of the character of Helena Bonham Carter, though.
The Game Plan (2007)
Best Family Movie ever.
I love stories of brutes guys with cute little girls. This movie is this and more. Although it has all the clichés of the genre, the story is performed competently and you create empathy with the characters.
The premise is fun. Imagine a womanizer and egocentric guy discover from night to day what he is the father of a child he even know the existence? Only this situation is hilarious enough.
Dwayne Johnson and Madison Pettis make a good double and convince in the father-daughter relationship.
"The Game Plan" is certainly not a film that invents the wheel. But perform competently what it promises: to be a great fun for the whole family.
This is no doubt my favorite "Family Movie" ever. I can see it thirty times and never get tired .
Death Proof (2007)
Most boring movie I've ever seen
I generally like the Tarantino's movies, but what the hell did I just watch? This is easily the most boring movie I've seen. There is no story. It's just a group of nasty and slut girls talking about completely random and irrelevant things. As you will realize in a few seconds, watch characters like this talking endlessly it's boring as hell. At some point inside the bar, I fell asleep. Then, suddenly I awoke to the deafening noise of a car. I looked at the screen and I saw the dude's car in road and a blood chase happen. Then in this film there is a psychopath who likes to chase girls with his car and kill them? But that didn't last five minutes. In the other half of the movie we have to face another group of nasty girls talking endlessly once again until have another car chase scene, but at this point the movie was almost at the end, and two hours of my life already had been lost never to return.
Jurassic World (2015)
A epic adventure to entertain the whole family
Honestly, I don't understand the negative reviews of this film which criticize the development of character or shallow story. In a film of this genre, it's clear that we will not watch a deep and philosophycal history. Of course the characters will be more simple and one- dimensional. Jurassic World just fulfills what promised: pure entertainment with impressive special effects, great adventure with some scary moments, and a lot of badass dinosaurs. That's what I expect in a movie like this.
Of course this movie not have the novelty of the first, but is a worthy sequel. It's remarkable that the story is concerned to honor several times the old island of Spielberg, through dialogues characters or moments in plot. Jurassic World maintain the essence of the first film, but with a story adapted to the new generation. While Jurassic Park is the face of the 90s, Jurassic World is the face of the present day, with a dinosaur park more advanced in technology, more large, open and with a more intimate interaction with the public. The plot is similar to the first: starting slowly introducing the characters, but then things get real bad and chaos ensues, caused by human greed once again, but this time with much larger proportions. How could it be in a movie where dinosaurs are on the loose, many people are devoured - of all deaths, however, I could not fail to mention the Zara's death, which was so impactful and memorable as were the deaths of Dennis Nedry and the guy in the toilet. And the ending of Jurassic World was a gift to any dinosaurs fan, with a epic battle of four titans, which closes the story with great dignity.
It's a film for the whole family. Although the story has deaths and scary moments, there is no exaggeration of blood or explicit sexual scenes, so I think that children can watch this.
Cinderella (1950)
A very problematic Disney classic
I'll receive many fingers down, but I need to be true to myself. As a child, I watched Cinderella oftentimes - I had a VHS. It is without doubt one of the most famous Disney classic, was a resounding success when released and was the film that saved the Disney studio going bankrupt. But leaving its historical significance aside, watching Cinderella today as an adult, I realize how this animation is problematic.
To start, this movie has several scenes of secondary characters just for comic relief - the mice and the cat - what absolutely does not contribute almost nothing to the central story, feeling as a filler. Disney princesses films have a tradition of have fantasy stories, with lots of magic involved. But discarding the scene in which the fairy godmother appears to sing the song "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo" (undoubtedly the pinnacle of the film) and the scene where the clock rings and Cinderella flees the Prince (which, together, does not reach even ten minutes), there is absolutely no magic remnant throughout the rest of movie - ever stopped to think about it? 80% of the movie, we just have Cinderella and mice in the stepmother's house doing trite and mundane things, or scenes with the King in the castle dreaming of grandchildren. Boring.
Then we have a poor character development. Disney's Cinderella is not a good example of woman and heroin. She's a bland character, accepting mistreatment with passivity, and she always need others to get it out of their problems (mice, fairy godmother, the prince). Cinderella never changes the situation for herself. She falls for the guy just because ... he dances well? In no time the prince's personality is shown; we do not know if it will be a good husband to her, not even Cinderella have this certainty, but who cares, if he is rich, beautiful and is a prince, isn'it?
And we have the animation, which is a bit disappointing. Unlike the beautiful painting that was Snow White (for its time), or stylish, graceful and unique backgrounds of Sleeping Beauty, the animation in Cinderella doesn't have anything extraordinary for a studio like Disney, and there are times really ugly looking. To this day I don't understand why the hell the animators don't draw toes for Cinderella. We're talking about a movie that the "feet" have considerable importance, are not we? Instead, we have a hideous "close-up" Cinderella wearing her shoes with her feet like a surfboard, or a quick sketch of a foot. I always thought it was horrible when I was a child. I mean, even a child of five years, to draw a foot, would have the decency to do "risks side by side" to represent toes.
Seriously, Disney. You could have done much better.
I gave two stars just for the excellent and beautiful animated sequence "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo".
The Land Before Time (1988)
Best animated dinosaur movie
This is the First animated movie I seen in my life. It symbolizes the beginning of my life. I was only 3 years old. My fuc** God, as time goes fast. Today I have 24 years old and already watched much better animations, but this will always have a special place in my heart for nostalgic reasons.
But even leaving aside the nostalgia, it's a FACT that "The Land Before time" is the best animated dinosaur movie Ever. Over the years, we have atrocities as "We're Back! The Dinosaur's Story" (1993) and the rip-offs Disney's "Dinosaur" (2000). Even Pixar can't to make a better dinosaur movie, with its disappointing and unsatisfactory "The Good Dinosaur" (2015).
Nothing is able to overcome this Bluth pearl, with its touching story, its memorable characters and animated scenarios in pastel colors (Bluth's trademark). And what tell about the fuc**g soundtrack? Is James Horner in the best; the man was really inspired.
☆ 10/10
The AristoCats (1970)
When Aristocats was made, Uncle Walt certainly turned in the grave.
I'll receive many fingers down, but I need to say that this is by far the worst traditional Disney animation ever. "Oliver & Company" (1988) and "The Black Cauldron"(1985) seems like a "Spirited Away" in the side of Aristocats.
The only good and inspired thing about Aristocats is the musical sequence "Everybody Wants to be a Cat". Only this. Let's look at the rest:
The characters are awfully dull. O'Malley is just a cat version of Tramp. Duchess is a sympathetic character though, but only she can't save the movie. The animation is just terrible, full of recycled scenes, and low quality xerography, compared with "101 Dalmatians" (1961) and "Jungle Book"(1967). "Robin Hood"(1973) also had a poor animation, but compensated this with a more entertaining and funny story to follow. But what's the story of Aristocats? It's a rip-off of "Lady and the Tramp" and "101 Dalmatians" version cats. The plot is dull, full of random and unbearably tedious moments, like Edgar being chased by generic dogs, and the group of cats talking with annoying geese, that not even a child with 7 years would have the patience to finish watching.
Do you remember Cruella Devil, a woman who wanted to kill 99 puppies Dalmatians for wear their skin? Yes, she's a true villain. But in Aristocats, we have Edgar, the most dumb villain I've ever seen in my life. Why the heck Edgar decided get rid of the cats BEFORE Madame Bonfamille die? And why the heck he gave sleeping pills to cats and went to a other place, when he simply could arrest all cats in a bag and drown them? With these questions, we can see how Edgar is a dumb villain and how fragile and nonsense is the script of this film.
The Black Cauldron (1985)
Bad
Need to say, the only good thing about The Black Cauldron it's good quality of backgrounds animation, a quality that was not seen in the Disney studio since "Sleeping Beauty" (1959). But honestly, I don't care if this film has become "cult". Remains as bad as ever.
First, Taran is the most forgetabble protagonist in Disney history. Unlike other friendly boys as Mowgli (1967) or Arthur (1963), Taran is boring and has no charisma. All other characters also suffer from the same problem. The villain looks like a character who was taken from some cheap episode of Scooby-Doo. Fairies / gnomes (or what the hell are those things) sound like dull rip-offs of the Seven Dwarfs. Gurgi was created to be friendly and for we to care with him, but he's just an animated version of Jar Jar Binks we wish to see dead.
As if things were not already worse enough, the script of this film is problematic. In the beginning, we have a nut with "magical" powers (in my opinion the only sympathetic character in the movie), which seems to be the essential key to the climax of the film, but in half the movie to the end, she simply leaves to follow Taran and disappear in history. In my view, a serious flaw script. Add to the fact that history doesn't have any memorable moment, and we realized the disaster that The Black Cauldron is.
Foodfight! (2012)
Are you kidding me?
That's by far the worst animation movie I've ever seen, I say this already having seen The Wild, Chicken Little, Home on the Range, all Disney sequels, all Titanic animations and all Bluth movies 90s. The bullshit level in "Foodfigth" is unsurpassed and unreachable. All animation lover should watch this "pearl" to give a good laugh and every film student should see this as a learning experience about everything you should not do in a movie.
Starting with the weird premise, market products that come to life when the market closes, and shelves magically transformed into a city. It's all very strange, confused, and the film does not care one bit to explain to us which are the rules of this universe. The film simply think we are already aware of everything.
After this initial shock, everything gets worse. We face generic characters, extremely poorly animated and ugly to look at - what heck is that weasel, my Jesus. The plot is a spectacular mess. The film does not know what audience it is targeting. It's look terribly childish, but there are dialogues and grotesque sexual innuendos and poorly made, not suitable for children. There are Nazis. The moment it happens the war of food is worthy of Michael Bay, with endless explosions, the point you wonder when it will all end.
The animation it seems that was taken from someone's ass in the early 90s. That would be horrible in 1995, imagine how horrible it is today. The scenarios are really terrible and confused, you never know where the characters are, whether it's on the shelf, or in the world of products, or in the aisles of the supermarket.
Can anyone explain to me why the hell this film had a big budget? Would you believe in me if I said that this film has a budget more expensive than Fantasia, Lion King, The Secret of NIMH, Toy Story and Spirited Away? My fuc*** Jesus, this can't be serious.
The Wild (2006)
This is the most forgettable Disney movie ever
I'm proof of how this movie is forgettable: I had the misfortune to watch this thing in theater with my dad 10 years ago and I forgot absolutely everything in this movie only 2 hours after leaving the theater. I only remembered its existence literely now, when I saw this poster.
The story, which I obviously don't remember too, is about animals that escape from a zoo and the old nonsense conflicts between father and son. We also had to endure this boring conflict with "Chicken Little," another atrocious Disney film, but more memorable - although I don't know if that's an advantage.
The characters are ridiculous and dull imitations of Madagascar and The Lion King. I mean, look well for the design these animals. They just look so boring and generic.
The Good Dinosaur (2015)
"The Good Dinosaur" is the biggest misconception of Pixar
First of all, Arlo is the worst protagonist I have ever seen in an animated film. His design is uninspired, he's dull and boring. His fears are annoying rather than instil empathy. Spot is cute, but only one character isn't able to sustain a long animation.
The world of "The Good Dinosaur" is dull and sparse. I mean, the premise is: "What would happen if the asteroid had not hit the Earth?" The animators had a great idea to explore, but in the end, we see very few dinosaurs in story, and dinosaurs living in isolation from each other. All this reinforces the idea of a very sterile world. Dinosaurs also just copy the human lifestyle. Really? For a studio that created Toy Story, the writers and animators could have had more creativity, originality and daring.
And someone please explain to me what the hell are these cartoon- dinosaurs with extremely realistic scenarios in the background? Yes, the scenery is magnificent, but it just doesn't match the look and design of the dinosaurs.
"Cars 1 and 2" are bad, but they ensure fun for kids and have some memorable characters - "The Good Dinosaur" isn't fun, nor is memorable. "Brave" also had a lame history, but the protagonist Merida was incredible and unforgettable, both in design and in attitudes - Arlo is simply a dull character and lacking charisma. Then yes, I really think "The Good Dinosaur" is the worst movie Pixar so far.