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clive_tracker
Reviews
The Hunters (2013)
Librarians for the illiterate
Not cheesy enough to be The Librarians although it recycles most of their plot lines
Not gritty enough to make a serious thriller
More like Relic Hunter with a bundle of the usual dysfunctional family plot lines cribbed from just about every disaster movie
Decent cast of actors hamstrung by painful dialogue and a lazy plot
I would like to say that it was a good idea wasted but, every element is such a thinly disguised rip off of things that have already done it much better
It passes an hour or so without ever taxing the intellect or engaging emotions.
If this film was a colour it would be a bad photo copy of beige.
Fire Twister (2015)
If you made film on a budget of $10...
... and had enough left over to pay for a taxi home
This would be that film
Every scene is a treasure trove of plot, dialogue or effects mistakes.
Look for those special details.
Like people running across the parking lot to load papers into a car.
Why didn't anyone think of just moving the car closer?
The passage of the fire twister destroys buildings but doesn't ever scorch the grass.
Make up your own dialogue too.
Like when they use fire hoses as flamethrowers
You just HAVE to yell out "don't cross the streams"
4 people with machine guns fire at a
Fire engine to kill the driver but don't even break a window.
If you are looking for terrible films then this one is pure gold.
The Swarm (2023)
I haven't read the book
A lot of reviews speak negatively about the series in comparison to the book.
It must be an awesome book then because I am throughly enjoy the series.
Personally I like the way the action develops. Makes a change from the crash bang of many thrillers.
I like that it's a big story and so it is drawn on a big canvas. Makes a refreshing change from "America saves the world".
I don't write many reviews and they are mostly to make fun of some of the painful rubbish that is put out. This is a rare example of something that dares to be a little different.
One of a very small number of programs where I'm eager to see the next episode.
Mystery at Blind Frog Ranch (2021)
Staged garbage
Anyone notice this in the final episode of season 2?
They have their shed broken in to and all their files and rocks are taken. They show the emptied document boxes.
They have video of the people doing it
However, when the "raiders" come out of the shed, they have no backpacks and aren't carrying anything.
So where are the rocks and files?
And the aftermath?
NOTHING
They just carry on like nothing happened
No call to law enforcement.
No upgrade to security
Not even much curiosity
Oh, they take a plaster cast of a footprint.
Outside their own HQ! So not a high foot traffic area then. Just the goon squad, film crew, sound crew, lighting and all the rest of the production crew
What they going to do with the cast? It's not Finding Bigfoot!
Reasonable entertainment but completely staged.
City on a Hill (2019)
As good as The Wire
Just watched the second season and the episodes just flew by.
Excellent story lines, beautifully written and superbly acted.
Every character feels real and is perfectly cast.
The only thing I don't understand is why everyone isn't raving about this show.
The best new show since The Wire.
Warrior (2019)
A hidden gem
Why isn't this show all over social media?
Everything about it is top quality.
An intricate story that is carefully constructed and well acted.
I'm hard to please but I can't fault this show.
As someone rightly said, the best new show since Game of Thrones.
The Outpost (2018)
Game of Plastic Chairs
Oh dear,
Imagine making GOT on a budget of £10.
Started laughing when people wearing full armour were being punched to the ground.
So cheap it is sure to run for a while.
I might watch it again but only if I've finished rearranging all my cleaning products into alphabetical order.
NCIS: Los Angeles (2009)
How much longer?
I only ask because I've been with the show from the start. That makes me feel I SHOULD stick with it even though I really just want it to end.
It was a really tight show with good plots.
Now it's increasingly becoming a soap with weak, implausible story lines.
The 2 male leads have taken to bickering like an old married couple. Identical to Hawaii five o and the reason that show became unbearable.
Please bring the show to an end while the memories of good episodes aren't too distant
Guardians of the Glades (2019)
Great show with lovely people
This isn't the sort of show I usually watch.
Caught one episode channel hopping and now I'm hooked.
All the characters are great fun and so sincere in want they do.
Very funny, educational and entertaining all in one go.
This is the best show I've found in years.
Blood & Treasure (2019)
Indiana drones
Pick a cliche, any cliche, it's in this show.
A reasonable idea for a story, just a pity so many have had the same idea already. Imagine if Indy had discovered the Ark but found it full of old flip-flops. That's what you get here.
It's perfect viewing for post Christmas. Stale plot and leftover actors.
If this was a Christmas gift it would be in a charity shop the day after Boxing Day.
Caribbean Pirate Treasure (2018)
Prats of the Caribbean
The basic premise is... ask experts that have spent a lifetime researching ship wrecks to tell a couple of strangers exactly where treasure is. The strangers then wander over and spend a few minutes looking provided the location isn't dirty, difficult or dangerous. So they get paid to swan around the Caribbean doing nothing much. Great work if you can get it!
Still Open All Hours (2013)
Please end this.
A great cast, and a previously great writer.
So sad that we are now treated to exactly the same jokes every week, every season.
Don't make any more. There's no need. Just show re-runs, no one will be able to tell the difference.
S.W.A.T. (2017)
TV for the hard of thinking
I started off hating this show for all the reasons listed in other reviews.
But, if you think of it as being like Police Squad, it's much better. The whole family can play games like "guess the next cliche", "how many times can they pull the slide on their gun", "spot the heroic pose"
Perhaps they should have story lines and scripts written by someone past puberty.
If a show like Elementary is art, this is bad crayoning.