Reviews

"For Infectious 80's fun look no further than The Ice Pirates" 👽 Released in 1984 & set In a world where water is the most valuable commodity this oddball OTT Gross out action Sci-fi comedy has everything a Robot pimp, a half chicken Alien on the toilet, a sexy sword welding female pirate, a castration machine, a time warp that ages you 10 years per minute, Ron 'Hellboy' Perlman, cowardly cyborgs, some of the lamest potty humour ever put to film, decapitated heads, chopped off hands, a horny frog woman, a mental bar fight, bumbling pirates, ferocious Space Possums, a hilariously camp Luke Skywalker impression and best of all the disgusting 'Alien' Chest Burster inspired Space Herpes. Considered by some (mostly Sci-fi purists) as the worst film ever but boy it never gets boring! The Ice Pirates looks like it was filmed using George Lucus' rejected Star wars set pieces featuring cheesy but great practical effects topped off with a Synth soundtrack this film feels and looks true 80's to me and I had a great time experiencing it. Imagine if Mad Max, buckaroo banzai, star wars and animal House gave birth to a demented baby its name would surely be Ice Pirate!

Possibly the greatest Zombie-Comedy-Vigilante-Romance-Vampire-Crime-War-Horror-Action-Splatter-Buddy Movie Ever!! This is a film that defies Genre Specifications - When it comes to 'The Revenant' there really seems to be a bit of every conceivable film style interwoven into its 2 hour frame barring Musical numbers and Pornography. It's at times touching, sad, hilarious, gory, fun and extremely violent it's a very strange mix that somehow works and is at the very least Unique! 'The Revenant' deserves to win an award for sub-genre greatness, it's a film that's hard to define but definitely should be brought to my fellow Horror Hounds and Gore-Geeks attention! Splat-stick is my sub-genre of choice and that's the term that probably sums 'The Revenant' up as simply as possible but believe me it is so much more!

Since the day I saw Terrifier's antagonist the Creepy Sadistic Art the Clown in his previous outing the Anthology 'All Hallows Eve' 6 years ago, being the scariest Horror Movie Clown I had ever witnessed, I knew he would be perfect for a full length outing so when I heard that's what director Damien Leone had planned for us I was one very excited Gore-Geek and knew Art would find his rightful place amongst the greatest of Horror icons and I've never been so right. Art played expertly with passion and relish by new comer David Howard Thornton is as hardcore and unstoppable as Haddenfield ghoul Michael Myers and has a wicked sense of humour that would make Freddy take notes, he's a mysterious entity with Supernatural abilities hinted at but wisely left for the inevitable sequels to fully explore. Art never says one word for the features duration which is a factor that definitely benefits the character relying on demented expressions, twisted body language and his signature silent mocking laugh. He is unnerving unpredictable vicious and remorseless with his trusty dustbin bag proudly swung over his shoulder full to the brim with a versatile set of both conventional weapons and hand crafted torture devises that could cause John Kramer to turn green with envy and with these and any item he grabs along the way he creates some of the most elaborate and gruesomely depraved murder set pieces seen since Ryan Nicholson's 'Gutterballs'. The effects are all practical and look absolutely fantastic and are as realistic as the highest budgeted torture porn outing that you could imagine. Terrifier has a tone all of its own but in some ways has a dark feel and look similar to scummy 80's city slashers such as 'Maniac' and 'Driller Killer'. The 80's Slasher Throwback appeal is most definitely rife in this Flick but it doesn't feel or look dated in the slightest infact the picture is extremely crisp and beautiful to behold with a very suitable cool ambient Synthwave sound track that feels exciting while giving a real sense of dread as well as some very bizarre non sync jazz horn music which Art seems to enjoy immensely as he does literally slicing people apart and boy we get to see a lot of that! As Mike the exterminator (the closest we get to a hero) played by Matt McAllister states he is "A total Fu*king Maniac" and even that's an understatement! The camera never shys away from the most disturbing of deaths and there is one without a doubt that would have been declared a notorious banned video nasty probably never to be decriminalised had it been released back in the day, I won't ruin it for you but you'll know instantly what I mean when you witness it! Guaranteed you won't forget it for a long long time to come - yes it is that extreme, take the nastiest scene in 'Bone Tomahawk' and multiple it by 10 and you might be somewhere close! The tagline from Tobe Hopper's notorious 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' springs to mind considering this movie "Who Will Survive & What Will Be Left of Them" but rather than the marketing ploy that was, you can take those words literally with 'Terrifier' as absolutely every protagonist is fair game and everybody loses body parts along the way. This is a fully accomplished Horror film that balances the scary creep factor and unbelievable hardcore gore perfectly, bravo to all involved.

This teen comedy romance Horror film musical proves that building a fried chicken store on not just on an Indian Graveyard but also next to a toxic waste site is never a good idea. This film is pure entertainment even when it boarders on puerile potty humour and takes racial stereotypes to an all time low, it never gets boring. The film is filled with hilarious fast food inspired musical numbers that are catchy as well as hilarious, great lyrics like "Like Jesus Christ screamed when he was crucified, Revenge is a dish best served Fried" We are treated to a 10 minute plus Massacre in the fast food joint that is pure comedic Gory mayhem not since the party scene in Braindead/Dead Alive have we seen such a pure unrelenting outrageous display of Splat-stick. There's also plenty male and female nudity through out and enough visual and verbal toilet humour to make Keith Lemon blush! All and all this is a Troma film and most will know what they are getting themselves into just hearing that company name but what you may not realise before hand that it's an extremely watchable movie and next to "The Toxic Avenger" this is the best film Troma have released in their 30+year history.

Italian splatter kings Necrostorm scored a cult hit with their first film Adam Chaplin (2011) a combination of Manga / Anime classic Fist of the North Star, The Crow and Das Komabrutale Duell. This their second feature Taeter City has a similar extreme splatter style but this time goes the way of the retro Sci-fi Horror sub-genre. Set in the future the world is controlled by a Governmental dictatorship known simply as "The Authority" who regularly remind the populace through public announcements "Respect the Authority and Laws and you'll be just fine". Crime rate is nonexistent in Taeter City thanks to radio waves named the Zeed System that targets would be criminals and cause them to kill themselves in very nasty ways they then are processed at mega slaughter houses and have their flesh turned into food and blood into energy drinks which are then sold to law abiding citizens in Authority ran McDonald-esq restaurants know as Taeter Burger. Eating and farming animals is totally outlawed punishable by... Well you get it!

Everything is going peacefully in Taeter City until the radio waves have an abstract reaction on one fellow played by Director, FX guy and head of Necrostorm the awesome looking Giulio De Santi, instead of Suicidal he becomes Homicidal, develops super strength and can admit rays from his mouth that turns others into Homicidal/suicidal Super killers. When a scientist explains this he adds "Don't ask me why, it's Fu*king nonsense, it's all Fu*king Nonsense" Yes Doc it most certainly is but all the better for it.

This film doesn't really play for laughs it is presented very seriously and is all the more hilarious and fun because of this. This film promises "An 80's Movies Vibe, insane technology, Manga style crazy action, Adrenaline, Violence, Blood, Blood and again Blood" and boy it delivers on all those fronts. Delivering some of the most brutal creative Splatter action ever caught on film it has to be seen to be believed these effects are achieved by combining Practical with CGI which works a treat. Gore lovers will squeal with delight at the many graphic head crushings and Chainsaw dismemberments! 👻