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alexmpw
Reviews
Bubsy (1993)
We've got something interesting, but it's making me pull my brains out!!
I know that pilots are often unpolished and not quite what the series may be like on average, but could this get any more infuriating? I mean, I don't hate Bubsy by a long stretch, and this pilot does genuinely have some good things going for it. For what I've seen, it looks like it could have been a mixture of Heathcliff and The Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat, both really surreal yet entertaining shows.
But this. This. THIS. Gah. Rob Paulsen and the cast give it their all, but the plotting's atrocious, the animation's just plain ugly (look at Bubsy on the thumbnail, just look at him!!) and the humour is just not there (outside of idiotic and unfunny jokes). What really grinds my gears is that they had the opportunity to give the disliked character a personality overhaul that might have made him more marketable, but they chose to make him even more unlikable.
If someone were to remake this into a serviceable pilot, I wouldn't complain, provided that they fix these problems and mix some originality into it.
Gilligan's Island (1964)
A lot of fun.
"Gilligan's Island" was one of my favourite shows when I was really young, and even today I'll catch an episode or two on a whim. Yes, it was campy. Yes, you could leave your brain in the next room and watch it all the same. Yes, it's silly, but that's kinda the point. It was just a series meant to be funny.
That silliness prevents me from giving the series a higher rank, as I was yearning for an intelligent episode somewhere to moderate the goofiness of the show. Oh well, c'est la vie.
Foodfight! (2012)
Oy!
There are times when animated films work. There are times when animated films don't work.
This...doesn't "doesn't work", it never even got past blueprints or prototype design.
This film is a convoluted mess, a monster, the worst animated film I have ever seen, and that's saying a lot. Nothing about it works. Especially the inappropriate imagery, fascistic symbolism, relentless consumerism, insulting the intelligence of the viewer, yada yada. I seriously thought that this was a very depraved adult animated film before I discovered that it was MARKETED FOR CHILDREN.
Not only is it a waste of money and branding, it has perhaps the lowest grade animation I have seen. I've seen my fair share of bad animation, and this hits the bottom of the barrel.
This film should be marketed with a warning: "This film contains elements that will drop your IQ by 100 points, and cause as much pain as a root canal."
Inca (1992)
This is WEIRD! And I LOVE it!
Firstly, the description is incorrect.
In 1525, Huayna Capac, the last grand Inca, looks upon Lake Titicaca, remembering the prophecy that, one day, a mere mortal would arise and vanquish the "bearded savages" that had taken over the land for the Incan gold (guess who these are). 500 years later, a golden man named El Dorado came under the guidance of the infomorph of Huayna Capac, and is told to retrieve three crystals that would allow them to vanquish the now space-bound Conquistadors.
Secondly, this game is probably the weirdest game you will find that is not Eastern Mind, namely because of its extreme anachronism and surreal storyline, for it takes the battle between the Incas and the Spaniards and gives it the space opera treatment, so the game is fiercely original in thought.
But the game is not completely perfect. Its action sequences and obtuse puzzles are somewhat disconnected, and unfortunately don't give you any idea as to what you're supposed to do, which means that you're pretty much trying out randomized combinations.
On the upside to a folklore aficionado like myself, though, it deftly incorporates concepts and ideas of Incan mythology and theology into a fascinating blend of science fiction and mythology that I think is unmatched anywhere else.
So, in review, this game is a bizarre action-adventure game that is anachronistic and dense, but such a violently original game that the only way to see anything like it is to play it.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
Sheesh.
In theory, a film about Battlefield Earth shouldn't be as bad as this. I've read parts of the book, and I'd give it a 6 (it's interesting, but it's pretty gaudy, cheesy and pulpy, and I seriously dislike the Scientology aspects Hubbard fitted into his book), but this...
Firstly, the cinematography's ridiculous, namely the overuse of Dutch angles and the silly tinctures that the film uses (why did they use purple and orange so much?). Secondly, the acting's borderline Manos, especially from the actors for Tyler and Terl (Barry, John, you're lucky you survived this). Thirdly, the place women hold in the film is like something out of the most misogynistic '50s films, not a 2000 SF film. Finally, the plotting is preposterously patchy in how inconsistent and erratic it is (how would Tyler be allowed access to a rapid-learning machine, etc.). Mystery Science Theater 3000 could really shred into this one.
I tried to approach this film objectively, much like how I approached the book objectively. And much like the results of the latter, this film is just a pulpy mess. I tried to riff it, which is my general coping mechanism when watching such a bad film, but 20 minutes in, I gave up.
Save your standards. Try to stay away from this film.
Bubsy 3D (1996)
Ehhh....
What can I say about Bubsy 3D that hasn't been said already? I can very well cite the cheap voice acting (sorry, Mrs. Minella), the flat- shaded and ill-textured graphics, the smooth but difficult tank-like controls (if I recall right, the game was made for the original PS1 Controllers, which had no analog sticks), the nauseating camera angles and the imprecise control of the atoms (which function as coin and bullet).
And yet, I like Bubsy 3D. Yes, I said that. It may be frustrating, difficult and exasperating, but something about it makes me like it. Maybe it's because it was the first game I remember playing. Maybe it's because I find the poor graphics charming. Maybe I like the funny death animations. Maybe it's because I find every one of Bubsy's quotes painfully hilarious. Maybe it's because I find the game hilarious anyway.
If you are up to a frustrating yet comedic game to spend your time with, I'd give Bubsy 3D a look. I mean, come on, what could possibly go wrong? (sigh)
Kaze no tani no Naushika (1984)
Wow.
In my eyes, "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind" is perhaps THE animated film to see, because it has everything from exciting and fascinating visuals, ethereal music, great relevancy in its emphatic focus on environmentalism, compelling characters, and an extremely strong and very human main character. I'm not a big anime fan, yet "Nausicaa" is the big exception because of it being a fascinating and emotional story that won't get dated anytime soon.
In short, I would recommend this film to anyone and everyone.