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Blarg-Kliggle
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Reviews
Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
No actual depth
I keep hearing about how complex and unique villain and how philosophical it is, so I decided to give it a chance. I'll be honest and note that as far as I'm concerned comic books are among the lowest forms of media, and the movies all feel more or less the same. I've always been a fan of second chances so I watched it with a friend and by the end it felt like we had seen two different movies. It was just another generic superhero ensemble movie with extra pretentiousness and angst, thanos was just a madman who convinced himself he was rational. It just further shows that being a nerd doesn't automatically mean you're smart, I can't wait until Hollywood gets past it's nerd phase...
All the Devils Are Here (2014)
Surprisingly good
It's a movie that doesn't pretend to be more than an homage to the creature features of the late 80s and early 90s, but it's way better than any other direct to video horror movie I've seen in a long time. I was shocked when I found out that the budget was a mere $30,000, the director is a master of budgeting. The acting was great, especially when you consider the lines they had to work with. The effects were great, no bargain basement CGI and the gore was believable. The plot was standard but felt like it was supposed to be, outside of a couple head scratchers it was good enough. All in all it's definitely worth a watch.
Law Abiding Citizen (2009)
Ridiculous revenge fantasy
Some of my friends rave about this movie from time to time so I decided to make time to watch it, that turned out to be a waste of time. I gave it four out of ten because it did a great job of looking like something unique and clever to those that like a revenge flick. The film's premise is ridiculous and the writer has far less knowledge of our legal system than he thinks he does.
America: Imagine the World Without Her (2014)
Wow...
Wow... I don't know if it's just a massive case of denial, some form of mass mania, or if everyone involved in this came from an alternate universe. I like to compare various world views in an effort to better build my own, but this is just some sort of bizarro propaganda film. I gave it 2/10 not because it earned it, but because it offers a great example of ironic revisionism...
February (2015)
No surprises (but maybe spoilers)
Maybe I've been jaded by the hundreds of horror films I've watched, but as far as I'm concerned there's just nothing that stands out. I quickly found myself guessing how each scene would end, and the ending was a head scratcher in all the wrong ways. It felt like the director wanted a movie about demonic possession but then saw Session 9 and thought, "I've got to work that angle in". It's pretty bad when a viewer can guess how a scene will play out and still not be able to understand what the director was going for. As for the "monster", it looked like Muzzy's(the learn another language monster, not the racial slur) goth cousin. I don't know why the director felt the need for a scene with a priest throwing holy water on the main character thus making the "demon" leave only to reveal that, surprise the demon never left and she's out to finish what she started. There are other issues I have with the film, but my time is close enough to valuable not to waste anymore on this.
Late Phases (2014)
A pleasant surprise
I gave the film a fairly high rating due to the fact that the main character is just so different in all the right ways. While I doubt too many viewers will find the monsters scary I feel that the way the monsters and the main character interact more than makes up for the lack of scary moments. Further on the subject of interaction, the way the main character deals with his new living arrangements and the new people that he has to deal with are what really sold me on the movie. All in all I would recommend this to anyone who likes a little comedy and a bit of drama with their monster movie.
Last Shift (2014)
Twists that don't turn
I wanted to like this movie but between the predictable ending, the equally predictable jump scares, and the fact that the "monsters" were given too much screen time added up to a pretty mediocre movie. Before the half way point I managed to guess correctly that this would all be in her head(or maybe it was real, the ending made me feel that the director wasn't sure either). When it comes to scares, by the second half I could tell when the jump-scares were coming. The monsters/villains/demonic-entities often showed up well lit, the best horror movies almost universally clothe their monsters in shadows knowing it will hide any shortcomings the monster may have. The worst part of the movie personally was when the interview tapes played by themselves resulting in a torrent of cliché and the best chance to make this movie something far better. During the scene with the interviews the leader of the killer cult that now haunts the police station states that they are not devil worshipers while hinting at some force in hell that existed far before Satan took up residence, missing the chance for some good old fashioned cosmic horror, the movie never comes back to this. All in all there are worse movies to spend your time on.