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Reviews
Survivors: Law and Order (1975)
Nothing Learnt From 'Normal' Times
The system of law in the UK had been developed over many hundreds of years. Yet, Barney was not given a fair trial by any means. Firstly, Barney was not fit to plead, having the mind of a young child. Secondly, the crime was not investigated properly. Thirdly, the reason capital punishment was abolished was that it cannot be reversed. Greg and Abby seem to be so keen to blame Barney as quickly as possible that a mistake was almost certain to be made! And it was. That makes four deaths Abby was responsible for. The three 'Angels' where she took the plague to with no thought and Barney. Although Abby liked to think of herself a leader making responsible decisions, in reality she only thought of herself. Greg was not much better, except he had a loud voice!
Buffalo Bill and the Indians or Sitting Bull's History Lesson (1976)
Don't Watch This Racist Film
Dreadful film full of racist references! What was Altman trying to say? Was Buffalo Bill really a pig of a man? And why was the film shot in sepia colour? I could barely watch until the end.
Prometheus (2012)
Like So Many Other Sci-Fi Films
So, you're sending a very expensive spaceship a very long way to discover some very important things. You would want the best crew available, right? WRONG! Like so many other sci-fi films in this genre, you choose the worst possible crew, with bad attitudes and a complete lack of common sense! Not to say an inability to be in any way likeable.
It's a long film, so be prepared to dislike every character one by one!
The Recall (2017)
A zombie film but without the zombies
If I said remote cabin in the woods, young people running through the woods screaming, unknown threat. You would immediately know I was describing every zombie film ever known.
The only difference is that the zombies were replaced by aliens!
The fact that Wesley Snipes not only starred in it but funded the film was a mystery!
Don't bother seeing this mess of a film, you'll be wasting your money!
Hostile Witness (1969)
Lots of Plot-Holes in this Film
A poorly made film with very little investigation made into the facts.
Fact one: when Crawford's was in hospital, obviously badly injured. She was put in a private room with one nurse hovering about.
The patient should have been in the Intensive Care Unit. We had very good ICU's in 1968 hospitals.
Fact Two: The Judge sat there half-asleep and should have been taking copious notes through out.
I've decided not to list anymore as it can become boring.
To be quite honest, the attitude and demenour of Crawford would lead any jury to find him guilty, and I was hoping that's the verdict they would have brought in!
The Big Bang Theory (2007)
First Four Seasons Were Great but...
I was bought the full 12 season DVD set by my family. Together we roared with laughter during the first four seasons. After that, the laughs started to diminish until by season 8 and onward the laughs were few and far between.
Why? Well, the writing quality had definitely deteriorated and even the guest actors could not revive that.
One character that really could have been avoided was 'Bernadette'. She was bullying, aggressive, annoying and just not funny!
I know the producers saw TBBT as the goose that laid the golden egg but finishing on a high would have been a better idea (say Season 8). Before we got into choosing dresses, babies, etc.
I gave it a 4 for four great seasons.
Stargate: Atlantis: The Daedalus Variations (2008)
Probably the Best Episode by Far!
A clever episode, well written and a candidate for an Atlantis film!
The Aliens that invade the Daedalus were by far the most scary of the whole series! Would love to have seen more of those.
A real high-point for Atlantis!
Space: 1999 (1975)
Not A Childhood Favourite For Me
As a child I would normally watch any sci-fi series, but not Space:1999 I'm afraid. The thing that annoyed me most of all was Barbara Bain. Why did they have to overdo the soft-screen effect on her every appearance? And why did they turn up the sound on her so that her 60-cigarette a day breathing was louder than her actual speech!
I know both Bain and Landau had special requirements written into their contracts, but Bain was entirely the wrong actress for this part! As an adult I still think the same.
Transcendence (2014)
Haven't I seen this somewhere before?
Another job for lazy script writers. If you think much of the story is familiar, you'd be right.
The writers have 'borrowed' storylines and effects wholesale from all the 'Star Trek' franchise (the Borg in particular), Stargate: Atlantis (the Replicators), as well as many other much better movies.
It's not the worst film I'v seen, but it's far from being acceptable as far as originality is concerned.
In a Lonely Place (1950)
One of Bogeys Finest
A superb, well crafted script, brilliantly performed by all the actors, especially Bogey.
I'm not going to re-tell the story or list the minutia, I'll leave that for others.
I will just say, do anything to view this film and enjoy!
The Predator (2018)
Awful! Just Awful!
It took all my will power to see this durge through to the end. There is endless profanity and even a racial slur. I can't say anymore as I want to get this tripe out of my mind as quickly as I can!
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)
Give J. R. R. Tolkien his due!
Just a note for viewers, Peter Jackson did not write "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" as many TV journals and listings would have you believe, J. R. R. Tolkien did!
The Invasion (2007)
If You've Already Seen Gold, What's The attraction of Iron?
Kevin McCarthy must be turning in his grave at this dreadful remash of the classic Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956). There should be a law that says if you can't make a better film than the original, then DON'T!
Do studio executives sit around a table and say 'it won't be anywhere near as good as the original but we need to waste some money for tax purposes!'. That's the only reason I can think of for producing this dreadful mess of a film.
The three protagonists are made up of Ms Perfect (Nicole Kidman), her son Master Perfect (Jackson Bond) and her Perfect best friend/would be lover (Daniel Craig). All are too good to be true characters. Everything about them is unrealistically perfect.
Unfortunately, like most modern films of this genre, Kidman and the boy are part of a standard dysfunctional family. What that adds to the plot is still a mystery. It just seems to be a fashion in film making these days.
Finally, why does Kidman feel she has to wander about the house in see-through pyjamas in full sight of the young boy? Why does she also feel it necessary to get changed every five minutes? Is it just to show off her undies? She never seems to run out of tight jumpers to show off her boob job? These things are not essential to the plot, but they maybe essential to her ego!
Archive (2020)
You Know When Writers Can't Think of An Ending...
This review has revealing SPOILERS in it. Do not read if you have not seen the film!!!
When I was a schoolteacher, many of my English students would write a potentially good story but then run out of ideas towards the end. They would then resort to the 'and then I woke up, it was all a dream' scenario to wrap things up quickly. As a teacher I found this, not only boring but very lazy writing. Needless to say, I discouraged this type of ending in all creating writing exercises.
But what have we here? The writers of Archive have done exactly the same thing! They have quickly wrapped up a very long and quite boring film with the good old standby 'it was all a dream'! But to be 'clever' they said let's make it his dream, not hers! Lazy writing and would get an F in my creative writing class.
Nothing wrong with the acting performances. In fact, Rhona Mitra was exceptionally convincing. It's just the lazy writing that gets me. Or was it some executive poking their sticky fingers into the script? I can hear them now, "you know, it's nearly 2 hours long and we must wrap it up as soon as possible, otherwise we'll lose our audience (and our takings)." Perhaps we shall never know.
Spaceways (1953)
Unfair Reviews
Many reviewers have unfairly criticised this film for lack of accuracy in the space portion of this yarn. Well, in 1953 we knew very little about space, so that must be forgiven.
As so little was known about space in those days, the writers had to fill out a good proportion of the film with a fairly standard love/mystery story, including a nice little plot twist.
I enjoyed this film as it had good performances from all the actors. It's definitely worth a view.
War of the Worlds (2005)
Speilberg's Folly
First of all, this has very little to do with the H. G. Wells classic. Call it a 'reworking', 'retake' or any of the many trendy phrases that writers use when they are not clever enough to match the original author's genius.
I got thoroughly sick of Cruise shouting "Rachel!" every five seconds. And Dakota Fanning's constant screaming generated enough energy to send the aliens back to where they came from (I'm paraphrasing Gene Barry's speech in the 1953 version of 'War of the Worlds' film).
In reality, crowds of people seeing danger in the distance do NOT run towards it; they run in the opposite direction! Unfortunately Speilberg does not understand this human trait and has all the 'refugees' running towards the aliens at every opportunity! I could go on, but suffice to say, calling this film War of the Worlds does H. G. Wells a huge injustice.
This is a Speilberg vanity project that gives his mate Cruise a job for a few months. That's all.
Steiner - Das Eiserne Kreuz, 2. Teil (1979)
Burton Too Old For This Film!
Although I agree with most reviews on this title, the thing that I cannot get past is the age (or percieved) age of Richard Burton. He was only 54 years old when he made this film, but due to many years of chain smoking and the toll of his alcoholism, Burton looked 30 years older! In fact, within 4 years Burton would be dead.
The ridiculous way his shaggy sideburns became longer and shorter in the same scene revealed that Burton had no respect for continuity and his tufts of long grey hair peeking out of his helmet would never have been countenanced by superior officers.
Finally, Burton's double was working overtime. When Burton had to carry heavy boxes or injured comrades, the face of Sgt Steiner was painfully hidden. So much so, it was obvious the Director was trying to hide the face of the double.
No, I'm sorry, but Burton was the wrong actor in the wrong film and not fit enough except for some light jogging!
Melancholia (2011)
For Those Who Failed To Understand This Film.
For those of you who are utterly confused by this film, the solution is quite easy.
Justine is a manic depressive and every scene in this movie revolves around her illness. Her mother and father have obviously known and tried to cope with it for some considerable time. From their behaviour, they have totally given up and pretend that her wedding will somehow 'cure' her. It doesn't, of course, and they turn their back on her.
Her fiance also knows but is in complete denial. When the wedding fails to 'cure' her, he deserts her immediately after the ceremony.
The only person that supports Justine as best she can, is her sister Claire.
When Justine goes to live with Claire and her family, the planet Melancholia comes into their lives. The impending doom symbolises Justine's effect on the family. As the planet passes Earth, it appears everything is going to be alright. But, just like manic depressiveness, it turns around and returns with a vengeance!
Even the, seemingly inexplicable car scene at the beginning of the film, represents Justine's difficulty to attend her own wedding because of her debilitating illness.
All in all, not a bad film, if a bit over-long.
Warp Speed (1981)
Bad, Even for the 1980's!
Cardboard scenery, bad acting, atrocious script. Don't be misled by the fact that Adam West is in the cast. His performance leaves a lot to be desired. Only to be watched if you're having a Worst Film In The World party!
The Force on Thunder Mountain (1978)
I liked The Dog
The dog was the only innocent party in this durge of a film. Acting and plot were dreadful, scenery was attractive.
If you get a chance to destroy any copy of this film, do so, it will not be missed!
Adolf Island (2019)
Not to be trusted!
Apart from the presenter being thoroughly unlikeable and unprofessional, this documentary was more like a work of fiction.
From a scan with ground penetrating radar, she deduces a whole raft of 'facts' that can only be confirmed by excavation which she does not do. Not even one small exploratory trench.
Until the whole site is examined by respected archaeologists from respected Universities, this programme must be regarded as very suspect.
Arrival (2016)
Look how clever we are...!
The film had plenty of atmosphere but it was soon obvious that the writers had run out of ideas and didn't really know where the plot was going. Instead, they decided to cop out so that the film would appear 'deep' and 'meaningful'.
So many questions were left unanswered that I can't help thinking that audience were being given a giant middle-finger! Such a waste!
PS. If the aliens were so clever, why didn't they learn a language in advance that we could easily understand?
Collision Earth (2011)
Could be so much better
Normally I'm super critical of this type of film. In this case, however, there are some redeeming qualities that drew me in (partially anyway). Sure, the script needs tidying up and the scientific errors are a little distracting. But the acting is basically sound and believable with some good character development (Matthew in particular). Special effects are largely very nice.
I would say, as it stands, it could hold its own with most episodes in the Stargate franchise. With not too much work, there is the makings of a decent film here.
The question is, who approved it in its present state and why? It could have been so much better with so little work.