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MrMyron
Reviews
Night of the Dead: Leben Tod (2006)
My New Least Favorite Asylum Movie
I must be in the minority of people who actually like Asylum movies. I try and catch one a month. I got behind, so I O.D.ed last week and rented like six of them. I thought 666:The Child was their worst movie, but now, I have to go with NIGHT OF THE DEAD instead. It's just plain dumb. I don't expect Oscar worthy acting in any genre film, be it big or small budget, but the actors here are just annoying and uninteresting. I was gonna grab ALIEN ABDUCTION, but since it's from the same guy, I think I will pass. Most of the Asylum movies have something else going on; a bit of humor, real scares, cool characters, hot girls with quality nudity etc. This one had nothing really going for it. Even the gross out stuff just looked fake and was poorly shot. Please director, make your movie have a point! Or at least entertain me for 80 minutes. Peter Mervis, Justin Jones, Leigh Scott, and David Latt seem to be the Asylum guys to rent.
Transmorphers (2007)
What Part of DTV do you people not understand?
Looking at the comment and message board for this movie, one would think it was a huge budget movies with years of anticipation that just sucked. Apparently it was made in like three weeks for less than Michael Bay's blow budget from TRANSFORMERS. I love B movies and live for DTV stuff. Some of it I watch to see "it's so bad it's good" kind of stuff. But Asylum movies more often than not are just solid little movies that are a lot of fun to watch. This one is no exception. Sure the effects suck. Yeah, the sound is awful (what Asylum movie has ever had good sound?) but in the world of sci-fi movies, this one holds its own. I wish TRANSFORMERS had one character I liked as much as Itchy. I actually felt a little chocked up at the end of this one, instead of feeling absolutely nothing like I do during 99% of all big movies nowadays. And come on, give these guys props for making a cheapie little movie that ISN'T another retarded horror flick! I think this is a movie that people will look back on in ten years and really like, especially when one or several of its cast members are famous and its no longer "cool" to hate it.
Invasion of the Pod People (2007)
Only Slightly Less Than I Had Hoped For...
I've become a sort of connoisseur of Asylum movies. It's sort of like a book of the month club. Check the website, see what's coming up, then run to Blockbuster and let the fun begin. This is a pretty cool little movie with a lot of hot girls making out and a lot of nudity. I have to hand it to some of the guys over at the Asylum. It seems that all of the Leigh Scott, and now Justin Jones movies, have really choice nudity scenes. The girls that they get nekked for their films are light years beyond other B-movies (and I watch a lot of them). I guess I just don't understand why the continuity was so off and little things just didn't make sense. It was like someone took all of the scenes and put them into a blender. I wish I had the ability to re-edit the movie, because I bet if you put the scenes in order with the continuity it would make sense, and may even be better! And I disagree with the other poster. WAR OF THE WORLDS is one of if not the most boring Asylum film and its success started their whole "rip-off" deal which is a bit annoying. Some of the rip-offs are cool, but others really have no point (666 The Child anyone?).
666: The Child (2006)
What the hell?????
I actually like Asylum movies. I've made it a habit to see as many as possible. Even the rip-offs they've done have been cool like EXORCISM And WHEN A KILLER CALLS. This is just plain lame. I can't believe that the same people who made DEAD MEN WALKING and DRACULA'S CURSE actually made this movie too!!! It's not even laughably bad like JOLLY ROGER or ALIEN ABDUCTION (which, by the way are pretty bad). This is just BAD! I mean, I can appreciate and/or forgive bad acting or lame special effects in an Asylum movie, but this film takes itself way too seriously. I really hope that SNAKES ON A TRAIN is better. Now that's a movie I can't wait to see.
The Beast of Bray Road (2005)
I liked this one too!
Having seen and liked this guy's other movie FRANKENSTEIN REBORN, I decided to give this one a spin. Very cool. This is a great, old school horror movie. I liked the classic, no cgi werewolf and thought all the girls were really hot! The acting is good too. You can tell that some people were playing it a bit silly on purpose because its not meant to be that serious of a movie. And for the record, all you Wisconsinites getting all fired up need to relax. First off, if you look at the director's bio, HE'S FROM MILWAUKEE!!!! I think he knows what he's talking about, so lighten up. Besides, I live in Chicago, and this movie feels a lot like Wisconsin to me!
Underworld: Evolution (2006)
Disappointing
I was hoping that this film would have more of the cool back story and history in the forefront. I expect sequels to be bigger and better. More vampires, more werewolves. More cool characters. Unfortunately, this movie is more like watching people play a video game where monsters fight each other. No tension. Nothing interesting. Beckensale is super hot, but I'd rather spend the money on a Maxim magazine with her in it. Plus, why doesn't anybody shoot action like Spielberg used to? Cool dolly shots. Lots of wide shots to see what's going on? This film like Batman Begins has action sequences that are almost impossible to follow because they are cut so fast with so many long lens shots.