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Reviews
American Cannibal (2018)
Another student film project makes it to Netflix
A trio of annoying, unattractive 30 year old woman about to graduate high school head out (on foot) to party. Luckily one of them knows how to hotwire cars. So they steal a smart car, which calls the police on them...and the story just gets dumber and dumber. Stupid, unrealistic dialogue, a story so dumb maybe it was supposed to be a joke, actors who just plain suck, and some of the worst blood and gore effects possible. This looks like another of those "I have 4 friends and an Iphone let's try and make a movie" Netflix movies. Beyond me how crap liketh8s gets picked up. Makes me want to cancel Netflix.
The Belko Experiment (2016)
Beyond stupid....
How anyone can give this more than one star is beyond me, and I find it impossible to believe James Gunn actually wrote this. Some good actors like Michael Rooker totally wasted. Story was dumb and not even remotely realistic. Dialogue and character reactions defy all logic and belief. It was really difficult to get through, and I kept waiting for it to get better but it actually got worse as it went on. Just an absolute stinker on all levels, despite a talented cast. But a good cast can't save a crappy story and terrible script. Still not believing it was actually James Gunn that penned this...
The Executioners (2018)
Was this a middle school film project?
Seemed to be written by a young boy just entering puberty who has no idea about men, women, rape or torture. Movie had a story that defied logic, dialogue no humans would ever engage in, laughable action, and camera work and lighting that made it look like it was shot with a cell phone from 5 years ago. The acting of course matched the terrible level of writing and direction. Even if you have nothing to do, staring at your TV while it is off will be more enjoyable than watching this trash. Be warned, any positive review you see is from cast, crew or family. I'm still confused as how something like this even gets on any streaming service...
Numbers (2022)
As Michael Madsen fan this was beyond disappointing
Reservoir Dogs is one of my all time favorites and Madsen was incredible in it. To see him in this absolutely stinking pile of dung is just depressing. Terrible script, worse acting, and gore effects that looked like a middle school film project. The "costume" of the villain looked like really cheap cosplay, I was waiting for it to just fall apart. But to my surprise it didnt. It is shocking that a movie with such a stupid plot and script could get funded, but I guess it didn't get much funding since all the actors were legitimately terrible. And there must have been no money for the fx. The scene of the burning man was laughable...
Barbarian (2022)
People liked this why?
The idea was incredibly dumb, with characters that were even dumber. Acting and directing was pretty good, but the monster was absolutely laughable. And the scene with cops was so stupidly unrealistic as to pull me right out of the movie. End sequence, insulting. Also, why isn't the woke mob after this for putting down incest victims?
We expect characters in horror films to make stupid decisions, but the characters in this film make other horror characters look smart! Opening act was fairly well done, up until the point Bill decided to investigate the basement, and she followed him when he didn't come back...
Replicas (2018)
I'm a big Keanu fan... but this....omg levels of bad...
Stupid, nonsensical story that requires more than a normal leap to make any sense. 3 pods...use them and then use 1 again to make the last child... duh! The dialogue was also sone of the most unrealistic I've heard in a while. He can go into a brain and search a word....laughably stupid.
Till Death (2021)
It's been all downhill since Transformers...
What a stinker - dumb, predictable, with 0 tension or drama. I'm still confused how people read a script like this and think it will be good....yet bad movie after bad movie gets funded.
The Guilty (2021)
Jake is great but the movie is trash....
Really stupid and unbelievable. Despite Jake being a great actor there was 0 tension in the movie, and it felt like it was written by someone who obviously never called 911...or even bothered to listen to any actual 911 calls...or bothered to talk to a real 911 operator....
The Many Saints of Newark (2021)
If you love The Sopranos don't watch this turd
Acting was sub-par, and Gandolfini's son definitely can't act. On top of that, instead of feeling like I was watching a story about the mob it felt more like a heavy-handed civil rights movie. Not that I would mind but this was supposed to be about the Sopranos/Moltisantis.
Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield (2007)
Not remotely true, and also, just a stinker...
Ed Gein wasn't even a serial killer. He was a serial grave robber. He killed just 2 people for sure, and maybe, just maybe, his brother also. What he did with the corpses is what set him apart. Anyway, back to this movie, it has almost nothing to with real life Ed Gein, this movie is a myth based on Ed Gein. The real problem here is, the movie was just really bad...bad acting, bad writing, etc.
Antidote (2021)
Who thinks a script like this is good enough to fund?
I'm always intrigued when I watch these crap movies by the question: "Who thought this was a good idea?"
Absolutely stupid. And the cgi ending...lol!
The Voyeurs (2021)
Not the worst but it could have been so much more...
Everything was good except the story was incredibly stupid. Take out the last few "twists" and it might have been ok, but Hollywood always wants to surprise you these days, which leads to ridiculous plot twists and unrealistic behaviors. This need to surprise basically has ruined every thriller since The Sixth Sense.
Intrusion (2021)
Wow! What a turd!
Stupid plot, unbelievable characters, and of course loads of incredibly stupid decisions. I could take the time to break them down but it's just not worth it.
Cry Macho (2021)
Just awful, the story, the writing, and especially the acting...
I'm a Clint fan and was in no way looking for an action film, but this had to maybe one of the most boring films ever. The kid can't act at all, his Mom was bizarre, the Dad couldn't deliver a line, and Clint is way too old...him flirting with romantic interest was making me queasy...really sad that he made this. Only oscar worthy performance was by the chicken....
C.O.R.N. (2021)
Absolute garbage
Total waste of time. Looks to written and directed by a 7 or 8 year old child.
Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (2012)
Worst CGI in a loooong time
Gues the whole budget went to Robert Englund and Lisa Rinna, leaving $0 for CGI. Oh, or a real writer or director...
Clickbait (2021)
Highly unrealistic and Zoe Kazan is hard took at.
Why would people like her character? She's annoying and ugly...and overall people make all kinds of dumb and unrealistic moves, but I guess it's par for the course for cheap thrillers. The end twist.....just stupid....
Reminiscence (2021)
Painfully bad
Hugh better hope for another Wolverine role...and Lisa Joy, please don't ever write another movie....
A Werewolf in England (2020)
Was supposed to be funny, bug I didn't even crack a smile
Low budget movies are rarely good, and comedy/horror is hard to pull off with bad actors, a terrible script, and a bad director, all of which you have here.
Broil (2020)
So dumb it will hurt your head!
Worst vampire movie ever made....that about sums it up.
Survival of the Dead (2009)
Did George Romero actually write this crap?
Or did he maybe get one of his young grandchildren to take a stab at his legacy? This is worse than the average Syfy zombie movie....
Hell House LLC (2015)
Another piece of crap found footage movie
"Oh, we don't have enough money for any actual effects so let's shake the camera around a lot"
"Good idea! Maybe that will also prevent people from noticing we can't write dialogue or think of a good story!"
Guess they didn't realize their production meeting was being recorded...
The Woman (2011)
What a steaming pile of crap!
Any review above one star is from a cast/crew/family member, you have been warned.
Las tinieblas (2016)
How stupid can a movie idea be?
The earth stopped spinning. Ummmm....ok...all life ends....or if you're a really dumb writer it just gets foggy jnstead....
Smiley Face Killers (2020)
Somebody said, wouldn't it be cool to make a movie where nothing interesting happens for basically 90 minutes...
And someone else must've said, that sounds cool, here's $100 go make that film!